CXO

New and improved: Your handy, dandy Technical Trainer 2.0

Training managers, if you have a new technical trainer in your group, here are a few maintenance and usage tips to keep in mind, compliments of Schoun Regan.

Thank you for upgrading to Techs-R-Us Technical Trainer 2.0. This model contains more certificates of authenticity (verified by ExamCram) than Technical Trainer 1.0. To take full advantage of your new trainer, we've put together this handy user guide. Remember, these are only guidelines and your Technical Trainer may require additional support. In addition, Technical Trainer 2.0 may have a tendency to be slightly disheveled due to long, sleepless nights and possible shifting during shipping. We recommend you clean, disinfect, and deodorize your Technical Trainer before the first class.
What's new in Technical Trainer 2.0?
Unlike version 1.0, Technical Trainer 2.0 doesn’t need to be confined to teaching just one technical class, allowing you greater flexibility in scheduling. Technical Trainer 2.0 has the ability to add more relevant information to the classes it teaches, thereby increasing student satisfaction. Technical Trainer 2.0 comes with the ego cache preinstalled. Technical Trainer 2.0 can still teach various nontechnical software programs, which makes it more versatile. Finally, Technical Trainer 2.0 requires less preparation for classes than version 1.0!

Starting Technical Trainer 2.0
Care must be taken before Technical Trainer 2.0 teaches its first new class. A thorough discussion of how the new class will be handled must take place. Don’t use Technical Trainer 2.0 to teach any class it just attended as a student. Look for credibility issues to surface if a student feels Technical Trainer 2.0 lacks experience.

Adding experience to Technical Trainer 2.0
While Technical Trainer 2.0 does come with a certificate of authenticity, we cannot and do not provide certificates of experience. Experience is essential because Technical Trainer 2.0 knows only programmed answers and not the real-life answer. However, the stored answer and the real-life answer may be exact opposites.

Experience can and should be added by placing your Technical Trainer 2.0 in off-site volunteer tasks pertaining to the plug-ins it includes. For example, if you purchased Technical Trainer 2.0 with a Certified Novell Engineer plug-in, you may wish to have your Technical Trainer 2.0 work one night a week at a local business that uses Novell NetWare. The volunteer work should go on for a month or two, allowing Technical Trainer 2.0 to gain valuable real-life experience, something your customers will value.

Modifying ego cache for Technical Trainer 2.0
Unlike Technical Trainer 1.0, version 2.0 comes with an ego cache preinstalled. As a result, Technical Trainer 2.0 has the confidence to handle potentially difficult students much easier. But every time Technical Trainer 2.0 teaches a class, the ego cache increases in size.

Unfortunately, some Technical Trainer models will exhibit irrational behavior, specifically an arrogant attitude and a tendency to talk down to those less knowledgeable. This is caused by a buffer overflow of the ego cache into the commonsense data path. Students may be offended by Technical Trainer 2.0, and there is a risk that they may not continue their training with your company. This can have a terrible cascading effect, due to the fact that most technical students take more than one course at your facility. A lack of respect for Technical Trainer 2.0 can quickly turn into a damaged reputation for you and your company.

To modify the ego cache, open your Technical Trainer 2.0 and acquire access to the monetary reliance system. The threat that you may need to significantly alter this system by ridding your company of Technical Trainer 2.0 is usually enough to reset the ego cache.

Care and feeding of Technical Trainer 2.0
Technical Trainer 2.0 requires the same care as Technical Trainer 1.0. Version 2.0 needs continued encouragement and support. Technical Trainer 2.0 requires a higher pay rate, and options to upgrade should be made available. Nourishment requirements can be sustained with high doses of caffeine and sugar. Some Technical Trainer 2.0 units have a bug that disengages the grooming routine. This is a problem, but we are working on it. For the sake of your customers, remind Technical Trainer 2.0 to brush and use mints whenever possible.

Enjoy your purchase
You have invested heavily in Technical Trainer 2.0. Since the total payoff is still a few upgrades away, maintain a healthy respect for Technical Trainer 2.0 and expect the same in return. Your investment pays off in satisfied and retained customers. We hope you enjoy your purchase, and we remind you that it is nonrefundable.
We’d like to hear from you. What type of certifications or degrees do they possess? How important were these certifications or degrees to you in making your hiring decision? Please post your comments below.

Schoun Regan is a consultant to training firms and travels across North America educating people for Complete Mac Seminars . If you have a question for Schoun or would like to recommend future topics for the TrainingRepublic, write to Schoun .

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