Social Enterprise

We all need feedback, just leave my face out of it


I'd say about 95 percent of the people who send me mail about the View from the Cubicle blog are professional. They are folks who, even if they disagree with me, find constructive and well conceived ways to tell me why. I've learned so much from my mail and from the comments you guys post in the discussion area.

But then there is that other 5 percent who make their attacks personal. Like the guy who took the time to e-mail me to tell me I had "an ugly face."

And then there is the guy who pointed out a typo in my piece about the emotional phases one goes through after a layoff. He said that apparently the companies from which I was laid off "made a good choice in letting me go." Because of a typo. In a blog. Of course, this criticism was sent via anonymous e-mail so I couldn't respond.

Kenbergins suggested that I seek other employment-like being a garbage collector. This type of personal critique may be true or a matter of opinion, but isn't there a more constructive way to tell me you don't like my blog?

I write this blog not because I purport to be the world's foremost expert on careers. I'm not the world's expert on anything. (OK, maybe candy).

I write this blog because I've lived through a whole lot of work situations, both good and bad, and I feel that maybe sharing how those experiences worked out might help someone. I'm also a gateway for ideas that come from professionals who DO make a living in career consulting. I scour the Web for interesting facts and statistics and throw them out there for you to mull over.

Sometimes I just throw something out there just for us all to let off steam.

I'm not so egotistical that I think my words are so strikingly meaningful. But I think the blog ends up being meaningful because of what TechRepublic members post in the discussions following them. The value of this blog comes from the experiences that all of us share. I'm floored by the spot-on info you guys share in this forum. If there is wisdom to be gained, it's there.

The real value for the readers comes from people who "get" the purpose of this blog and readily offer to talk about their own experiences. Incidentally, the folks who "get" me are the same ones who circle the wagons when someone attacks my blog (Bless you GadgetGirl, NickNielson, TiggerTwo, Shellbot, JamesRL, Jessie, just to name a few). That's a great feeling.

I'm not writing articles here. I'm writing blogs. Articles are a one-way street. With this blog, I'm hoping to generate a conversation that sparks a sharing of valuable advice and information. That's where the solutions are revealed.

Just, please, leave my face out of it! ; )

About

Toni Bowers is Managing Editor of TechRepublic and is the award-winning blogger of the Career Management blog. She has edited newsletters, books, and web sites pertaining to software, IT career, and IT management issues.

39 comments
Support Slug
Support Slug

Gee, are you new to the internet or something? If you are, you need to learn real quick to ignore the nitnoids. They are just trying to get a reaction because their pathetic little lives are devoid of any real meaning or value and antagonizing people is how they entertain themselves. If you plan on continuing to blog, I advise you to develop a thick skin and a talent for rapier-like repartee. And no whining.

Shellbot
Shellbot

Ah come on, thats my most favorite thing to do... gosh dang it.. how come no one ever lets me do what i want..

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

Whining is allowed for you, but winning is not! Your fate has been revealed!!!

rob mekel
rob mekel

Is that for real Shellbot ... you can't mean that, do you ?:| [b]Not ever never[/b] :x Rob

Shellbot
Shellbot

I generally always get to do what I want.. ]:)

manuel.bulatao
manuel.bulatao

Typos are day to day realities here in asia. more so among engineers who are more focused on math ane engineering. Looks also are not a factor in dealing with technology. else we will be dominated by bigotry. We want to share ideas and typos and looks shall not be an obstacle. There are millions that may not look handwome, but could be good looking. At the end of the day, the 95% who are good looking should be enough proof that you are a winner. The 5% must be ignored for they are not keen on ideas. They focus on small issues about life. These kind will have serious difficulties surviving the very flexible world.

Joe_R
Joe_R

Some people are just mean-spirited. Those people pale in comparison to the ones who regularly read and enjoy your blog posts. And personally speaking, I like your picture!

InfraGuru
InfraGuru

Some people are mean spirited and really are hard pressed to add any value to these posts. I just recently took a hit from someone on a blog on certifications just because he wasn't able to comprehend my posts, then tells me I need to work on my communications skills. Seriously, is it my fault that his comprehension level is where it is? I would say not, so I suggest just letting these people have the last word and don't bother trying to educate them because it usually won't work.

Jaqui
Jaqui

f*ck em if they can't accept a typo or three. if they ain't got the cojones to post it where people can respond, ignore them, they aren't worth the time it takes to read their comment.

toni.bowers_b
toni.bowers_b

You guys have me all fired up now! Sometimes the bad eggs get to you and you need to know that there's sanity out there. As for the picture, it's a placeholder. In reality I look EXACTLY like Angelina Jolie, but I didn't want to put my actual picture up there as you would all be overcome by my beauteous visage. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

TR -ish.... As you stated yourself, 90+% had good information or something positive to say. Most were respectful, so those POS's that get all over you, who cares what they say? There are always dimwits out there that just go around being pricks.

DanLM
DanLM

damn, that was my old handle... I miss it.. Hell, typo's. Spelling.. lol, come on toni. If they give you crap, just tell them. You think my typo's and spelling is bad. Just read Dan's posts... Then you have something to talk about. Truthfully, when people flame me for my spelling or typo's.. My comment always is... Did you understand what I said? Yes, then I communicated now didn't I. Here is another communication that I am sure that you should understand no matter how badly I spell or typo it. fk off. Oh, and toni.. I always drool(as I wipe it off the corner of my mouth) when I look at your picture. Your hot dan smiles sweet and innocently and bows out.

Joe_R
Joe_R

Just so you know, I really look like Brad Pitt!

gadgetgirl
gadgetgirl

[b] I [/b] look just like Angelina Jolie, too! ..... - in my dreams..... :p :D GG

Tig2
Tig2

Aren't you blonde??? I on the other hand look just like Ann Margaret. Hair is the right colour, too! Oh wait. I posted pictures. Nevermind!

Steffi28
Steffi28

Cos of course I look just like her too!! :p

Shellbot
Shellbot

i like yer av! but thats just my opinion..so it probably doesn't count :)

Jaqui
Jaqui

like I said, the priviledge of having your opinion matter has to be earned. :p [ lucky fer you, you have earned that. ]

Steffi28
Steffi28

I like it too! And ask W2K cos two people have said it on the internet that means it's true! :p

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

actually, 1 means it must be true, 2 or more means that it is really, really true.... :)

Jaqui
Jaqui

Palmmetto said he likes it as well. and I said TR needs to fix the transparency so the guy on the soapbox's swearing is visible. ]:)

Shellbot
Shellbot

..so it is true.. oi Steff..forgot all about the costume..can't even rememebr what it was meant to look like now! maybe thats a good thing though :)

TechExec2
TechExec2

. Remember this one? I'm made of rubber. You're made of glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you! :^0 The two-way communication of blogs reminds us that there are some rude idiots out there. The anonymity of the Internet multiplies this. Blogs are a real eye-opener to anyone who mistakenly thought all of the petty little gerbils from childhood have grown up and are normal now. Nope! They are still out there behaving like petulant little children. And, a lot of them are raising children of their own. Yikes! :0 When it comes blog readers, I don't know whether it is better to be liked or disliked. Either one can be creepy. For example: I like your face. I [i]REALLY[/i] like your face. Your face makes me so... Save yourself! Run! Stalker!!! :0 :^0 Have a great day laughing at the trolls!

Locrian_Lyric
Locrian_Lyric

I didn't even come up on the radar :D In all seriousness though, it is far easier to be a critic about what someone does than it is to go out and do better yourself. Don't let the critics get to you.

rjkirk_50
rjkirk_50

Do, Those that Can't Critize I also think you have a nice face. I may not agree with everything you say but I will defend your right to say it and even to make mistayks...

Sterling chip Camden
Sterling chip Camden

I once received an email criticizing one of my blog posts for a few grammatical errors. I responded thanking him for pointing them out so I could correct them, and I also noted a spelling error he had made in his email. He responded "Touch??", and that was the end of it. In his initial message, though, he said that he would have expected the TR editors to catch mistakes like that before publishing something on their site. I responded similarly to what you said about this being a blog - and informed him that editorial influence here is very light. Which I think is a good thing -- for a blog to be real, you can't always have someone looking over your shoulder. I bet your picture doesn't do you justice. I'm not particularly fond of mine, either. Maybe it's the fact that it's extracted from its original background and lighting.

faradhi
faradhi

My company decided to place pictures on our website. They hired a company to come out an take pictures of everyone. Mine was less than attractive. They say a camera adds 10 lbs. THey must have used 5 on me and I look like Jeffery Dalmer's developmentally delayed little brother. I am still trying to get that picture replaced. Oh well. As far as typos go. Well I usually reply with "Dew knot truss yore spell chequer two fine awl mistakes."

Tig2
Tig2

You keep up the good work, Toni. And remember that people like Ken or the dweeb that "dosen't like your face" are the exceptions, not the rule. I think that you have a great face. But that's just me. Ignore the small minds around you. They are not worth your notice.

jmgarvin
jmgarvin

I always am frustrated by the lack of social graces people show when not in the meat world. It seems people think that there isn't somebody on the other end of the message...it's just a machine...

CavalierX
CavalierX

There are some sad, sick, twisted little people whose main enjoyment comes from hurting others, especially if they can do so anonymously over the internet. Ignore them. They're pathetic. I wonder where their great blogs are...

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

LOL... I usually just do it for fun. But you are right, there are a lot of pathetic losers out there that just show up to cause problems.

Steffi28
Steffi28

How sad and pathetic some people are, just because they don't agree with some of your views what idiots, if they don't agree they should give their view not say your wrong and you have an ugly face (which of course you don't) just laugh at them and their small small lives!

Shellbot
Shellbot

that sometimes these people have nothing better to do than sit around and complain about whatever. If they can take 5 mins from thier busy day to email about a type-o or the state of someones person..maybe they need to get meaningful employment.. Someone who would email saying they don't like your face is pretty pathetic. My take on it is that they themselves are probably devoid of any redeeming feature, may it be personality or physical attributes, and the only way theu can feel some self worth is by putting you down. I'd say he wants you, badly..and he didn't have the guts to stalk you..so he took the other option! :) And by the way, I think you FAB looking..I'd definatly b!tch behind your back ..(oh look at her and her new outfit..meeooww)

OnTheRopes
OnTheRopes

People never cease to amaze me. It's hard ignore personal attacks no matter who you are. I've been on the receiving end online too. No fun. The only advice I can offer is to not let it get you down. Shrug it off and move on. You'll laugh about it later. I give your blog a thumbs up. I read it often and like it. It doesn't matter what some other fools think.

Jaqui
Jaqui

it doesn't matter what you think either you know. :p that priviledge has to be earned. [ not that I disagree with your comment, just pointing out that no-one's opinion matters by default. ]

OnTheRopes
OnTheRopes

I forgot. Who am I? I'm nobody. Ask around if you don't believe me.