Moreabouts, ye scurvy wretches, ye shan't dare be honorin' ye buccaneerin' forebears with mere speech. A true pirate is judged by his loot, so I proffer for ye unworthy benefit this bill of fare, according a grand list o' proper pirate swag:
- Pirattitude!: So you Wanna Be a Pirate? Here's How! The official handbook o' piratin', from the founders of our fair holiday.
- π-rate T-shirt This here garment be equatin' grand piracy with a certain infamous irrational number.
- The Government Manual for New Pirates Even Jolly Ol' Gov'ment has use for privateers and pillagers now and again, so they've provided ye a guidebook fer such hallowed pursuits.
- Pirates for Hire Baseball Cap Tis no grand badge o' rank, but tis a fare bonnet, an may yet land ye payin' work fer ye "honest" trade.
- Arrgh T-shirt Speaks ye pirate call, even when ye yerself 'r silent. And it sports ye skull 'n cross-swords fer good measure.
- Pirate Mug A nip o' rum goes down easier when ye tankard is affixed with the pirate yell and the emblem o' ye trade.
Also, for ye insatiable wretches...
Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger — amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can also follow him on his personal blog.