After Hours

Everything I need to know about my boss I learned from Star Trek

According to io9, there are seven basic types of bosses you'll eventually work for, and only a thorough knowledge of Star Trek can help you survive the experience.

According to io9, there are seven basic types of bosses you'll eventually work for, and only a thorough knowledge of Star Trek can help you survive the experience. The septet includes:

  1. The bully
  2. The father figure
  3. The politician
  4. The cold fish
  5. The blamer
  6. The queen bee
  7. The hot-tub boss

Here's the write-up for the bully. See if you can guess which major Trek character has prepared you for working under his regime:

The bully. He alternates between jolly and grouchy — but even his jolly side is a little scary sometimes. He enjoys "teasing" his subordinates, especially anyone who's different in some way, like having funny-shaped ears. "Notices" his female underlings a little too closely. He does give an inspiring speech about risk-taking, but that's usually just to drag you into some weird body-switching scheme that will leave you with a weird rash for a month. He's also the original "I want it done yesterday" boss, who's "sick of hearing the word 'can't.'"

How to handle him: If he yells, yell back. ... If he asks how long something will take, exaggerate by at least 200 percent. If he starts cracking jokes at you, just ignore it, and he'll probably go away. But never, ever make fun of him back. (I've totally had this boss, like twice, and thinking of him as [this guy] really helped.)

Let's see Star Wars carry a value-add like this stuff.

About Jay Garmon

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger — amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

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