Nasa / Space

Look, hardware installation just isn't for YOU

If ever there was an implied aptitude test for IT, this person failed it with flying colors.

worlds_worst_hack.jpg

Look, I know they call it "hacking" but that doesn't mean you're actually supposed to, you know, hack away at the hardware. If ever there was an implied aptitude test for IT, this person failed it with flying colors.

About

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

42 comments
hkwilkes
hkwilkes

It's silly but ... I had a chip a pretty long time back, I think an x86 upgrade for an older chip, that specified in the instructions that for certain computers, you had to cut one of the pins off for it to work. And it did! Scary stuff. Anyway, back when I was building computers, early 80s, anything went - if it could fit, why not try it - had some interesting effects. And in the 60s, we ran split computer tape through our tape recorders, really weird music.

Neon Samurai
Neon Samurai

I remember a friend putting his first math coprocessor into his 386. The result was a small spit of smoke signaling that the chip was in backwards and now baked. Boy was that a good lesson on why to make sure the plug and socket should always match without modifications. A long time before I remember trying commador storage tapes in the music player. I'd forgotten about that until you mentioned playing split tapes. (Passing complain about FF2; why is the damn "add to dictionary" so close to the suggested spellings; I must have at least five or six new spellings for things added by now. I'll have to go dig through my ~/ and find that damn file to remove them.)

Cecil.Pitts
Cecil.Pitts

Hmmm, so where did the photo come from if the dude said ?id post pics, but no camera??....Funny though, but I suspect its a fake ;P

HypnoToad
HypnoToad

Though as a helping hand for a gender-change operation, that person might be able to make the cut... No puns not intended... :D

BALTHOR
BALTHOR

An audio tape as it passes over the playback head generates a voltage much like an electrical generator does.When a memory chip magnetic bit is clocked it too generates a voltage.A few billion bits wired together correctly with a software program and clocked just might get you the 120v 10 amps needed to power your computer.It never shuts off.

NickNielsen
NickNielsen

But it has to be on rewind or you won't get enough current.

Jaqui
Jaqui

just think of all the money you could make by setting up shop around the corner from his shop ]:)

jdclyde
jdclyde

"We specialize in fixing what they break!" B-)

dawgit
dawgit

Those of that caliber would be food real quick. Wait Don't we want him to help 'save' a few hungry Polar Bears. :0 -d

jdclyde
jdclyde

getting my hopes up.... :p

normhaga
normhaga

As the guy who pays you to fix the wireless on his laptop, who you have him check the unit out before he walks out the door. He hits his car and the wireless stops working. He walks in because you just fixed it. You see that he deleted the drivers. Or the guy who deletes his anti-virus after a reinstall to clear up a virus problem complaining that you did not do the reinstall correctly because he was reinfected when he uninstalled the AV. Such just makes a days pay and aggravation.

jdclyde
jdclyde

years ago, I worked on a local college campus. The maintenance guys decided they were going to "secure" the computer. They bolted the keyboards to the table. How? By drilling a hole in that big empty area above the keys, of course. For some reason, the computers didn't work so well for class the next day.....

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

Now, maybe I can stop replacing mice if I just bolt them down too!!! I'm goin home for my drill/driver :^0

Jellimonsta
Jellimonsta

You can't bolt the mouse down. You can super glue the connector into the back of the system to secure it though. ;)

jdclyde
jdclyde

you know the little locks with cables that can connect to a laptop to secure it to a desk? I had to go get a laptop to do an update on it. The user was not in at the time, even though they were expecting me. They had it strapped to the table. of course (you see this coming) there were not any cross supports, so I lifted the table and took the laptop, cable and all. B-) The (l)user was mystified how I could have "hacked" into the lock like I did.... :p Yeah, this was an instructor with a masters degree that couldn't find their a$$ in the dark with both hands and a flashlight.... :D

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

when replacing, I'll just super glue the bottom of the mouse to the mousepad :^0 :^0 Then to make sure that the cable aint gonna be in the way, I'll just super-glue it under the desk :^0 And what about those pesky LAN cables, Monitor cables, power cables, etc... I think that they should all be super glued into the dock/desktop :D While I am at it, I had another brainstorm... Why not 'secure' the notebooks and desktops properly??? Desktops -- lay sideways and put some 10" to 12" bolts going through the center of it into the desk Notebooks -- a 6" bolt should do nicely :D Of course I will need to open the lid first (dont wanna damage anything) :^0 :^0 :^0

Jellimonsta
Jellimonsta

actually, while he is at it, he better glue down the individual keys on his keyboard (don't want those little buggers stealing those either).

jdclyde
jdclyde

to use that same super glue to glue the ball in the older meces.... don't want kids taking those, right? :D

aaronsapp12
aaronsapp12

dude you are stupid, dont mess with computers if you dont know anything you do relize by doing what you did and then sticking it back in your computer it could have blown up on you. YOUR STUPID!! 1) check to see what motherboard you have and what expansion slots you have 2) find a video card that supports the ex. slots if the card doesnt fit then it means you have the wrong video card, and now that you cut it off its no good. you lost your money and all respect from the computer world. thank you for a good laugh and have a good day.

Penguin_me
Penguin_me

"if the card doesnt fit then it means you have the wrong video card" Not necessarily - I recently got myself an 8800GTX as part of a new build. Anyone who's seen an official NVIDIA branded 8800GTX will have noticed the annoying 3" "handle" at the end of it. With the handle, it doesn't fit in the case (it's a big case...) - remove the handle and it's fine. No damage to the card, remove a bit and it fits. Moral: Don't make stupid sweeping statements.

Neon Samurai
Neon Samurai

The Antec P180 is a sweet case but when I upgraded the GPU, I learned that the board's power connector is strait off the back end of it. It's a long freaking card and some engineer decided to bend the connectors and for cusomers to make it even longer with a not so flexible power cable. I'd love to have found a 90 degree adapter to fit between the PSU cable and the card so I could route it properly. I'd have loved even more if I'd thought to check power connectors ont he cards and baught one that mounted strait on the board sending the cable out purpendicular towards the PSU. In the end, I had to move the hard drive block in the upper chamber too the lower chamber so the power feed could do a nice big U turn into the drive bay and back out to the GPU. 8800 board though and damn do things look pretty compared to my ATI 9600 GPU. We'll see who's got the better board for the next upgrade; I think it may be ATI the way driver development is going.

JamesRL
JamesRL

Don't reply to postings if you dont know anything do you relize by doing what you did, you made yourself look like a fool. James

jdclyde
jdclyde

of a confirmation to the fact, not just an appearance. Clearly he/she/it don't read to well.

JamesRL
JamesRL

for a responsible, well thought and reasoned response. I was trying for a reaction lol. Does the term wet blanket mean anything to you? James

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

Jay is not the one who did this. Note the Tags and Jay's comments. He probably found this, thought it was funny, and shared it for us to laugh at.

mjd420nova
mjd420nova

Yikes!! I've never heard of this approach to "make it fit". You've apparently removed the control bus connections from the plugin interface board edge connector. Nope, no hope of ever getting it repaired or fixed in anyway. Maybe if the store where you bought it won't notice it when you attempt a return. You might get your money back but don't hold your breath. Does this same friend give you any life altering advice too?? You might wind up missing a limb too.

Neon Samurai
Neon Samurai

I know one hardware hacker who could probably fix it well enough to work provided they had enough of the missing piece left and the rest of the card is undamaged. He knows who he is out there though I don't think he's frequenting the forums any longer.

print4u
print4u

Yeah!I know someone who knows someone who could fix anything better than anyone you know. As soon as he gets his head out of his _ _ _ I will tell him that you know someone who is better. Some people are just fun to have around, enjoy. This type of entertainment is priceless.

Neon Samurai
Neon Samurai

it wasn't a competion. I only meant that the chance of repair are not 0 though there are variables. you know; grown up tech talk beyond the initial amusement. but thanks for your input. i'm sure your friend is awsome too. (posted by N810

JamesRL
JamesRL

The easy part would be resoldering the connections. The tough part would be attaching the part cut off to the board, even if it was a clean cut. You could find that you can attach it, put it in the PC and make it work. Then try and take it out again and it snaps back at the original cut line. Personally, I wouldn't. James

Neon Samurai
Neon Samurai

even with a good apoxy, you would likely break it with each removal.

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

may come from burnt out components from being plugged in incorrectly and powered up. Maybe even a short or 2 (or more). Hmmm, well, if nothing fried, then you are right.

MGP2
MGP2

This concludes today's episode of "Hardware Dumb & Dumber". Tune in tomorrow for "What to do when that memory stick doesn't fit - Why do you think they call it RAM?"

The Scummy One
The Scummy One

Cut it to make it fit -- LOL charge your friend for a new card for being an IDIOT, and let that be a lesson -- dont go to that person again for PC repairs

jck
jck

I'd shoot myself...quickly lol