# Monday mug: Airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow

Provided you have the proper variable inputs (such as the difference between African and European swallows), you can now cross the Bridge of Death without resorting to taxonomic trickery thanks to the Unladen Swallow Airspeed Formula Mug. Math: Is there any problem it can't solve?

Sometimes the difference between life and death, victory and defeat, failing the Knights of Camelot or recovering the Holy Grail is knowing the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. Well, provided you have the proper variable inputs (such as the difference between African and European swallows), you can now cross the Bridge of Death without resorting to taxonomic trickery thanks to the Unladen Swallow Airspeed Formula Mug. The answer the third of the Questions Three is now a mere math-problem away. After that, all you need worry about is the Black Beast of Auughh, but if you've got the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, you're home free. Math and violence: Is there any problem they can't solve?

### About Jay Garmon

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger — amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...