Let’s be honest; the title is a misnomer. You can’t, won’t, and probably shouldn’t see all 10 of the sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and generally geek-related movies listed below. Nonetheless, these 10 films are expected to dominate the geek conversation over the next 12 months — for better or for worse. As to which is which, our Geekend summaries and predictions are listed below.
Oblivion | April 13 [trailer]
Tom Cruise tries his hand at sci-fi again, this time as the guy who maintains the automated defense drones on an abandoned Earth — until Morgan Freeman pulls him into a resistance movement that wants to expose the “real” reasons humans were forced off their homeworld. Like all such investigations, it involves lots of CGI-enhanced high-speed technoviolence. Plot is neither necessary nor expected.
Iron Man 3 | May 3 [trailer]
Robert Downey Jr. breaks in a new director for his third run at Tony Stark, as Shane Black — the guy who wrote Lethal Weapon and directed Kiss Kiss Bang Bang — takes the helm. This is also the first Marvel Movieverse release after the megahit Avengers delivered on so many geek cinema hopes and dreams, so we’ll soon learn if the franchise of franchises can keep the magic going. The real news is that Oscar-winner Ben Kingsley is finally bringing to life the superhero’s arch-nemesis, The Mandarin. Suit up.
Star Trek Into Darkness | May 17 [trailer]
We know this much about the madly anticipated second act of J.J. Abrams’s blockbuster Trek reboot: Alice Eve is playing Dr. Carol Marcus — the mother of Captain Kirk’s son David in the prime Trek timeline. That’s just the most tantalizing clue about the identity of Benedict Cumberbatch’s lead villain, though all we know for certain is that he’s a character “very familiar” to Trekkies. For those that don’t recognize the name, Dr. Marcus first appeared in a little flick called Wrath of Khan. Whether Into Darkness shares a primary antagonist with the greatest Star Trek film ever made remains to be seen — but the entire geek universe is dying to find out.
After Earth | June 7 [trailer]
Ten years ago, a collaboration between Will Smith and M. Night Shyamalan on a sci-fi spectacle would have been the unmissable event of the summer. Unfortunately, Shyamalan’s last three films were Devil, The Last Airbender, and The Happening, and Smith’s last three forays into sci-fi were Men in Black 3, Hancock, and I Am Legend. Hollywood, of course, hasn’t gotten the message, so this film will be marketed down our throats until we’re forced to deal with it. On the bright side, Smith’s son Jaden looks to be carrying more than his share of the load here as the second lead, so this can’t be worse than the Karate Kid remake. Yay?
Man of Steel | June 14 [trailer]
300/Watchmen’s Zack Snyder directs and The Dark Knight/Inception’s Chris Nolan produces the latest (and much overdue) reboot of the Superman franchise. The good news is they’ve learned the glaring lesson that all but one Superman film has ignored: Supes needs to actually fight someone, physically. The bad news is that they’re using the same worthy opponent — General Zod — we’ve seen before, and they’re cramming in yet another retelling of Superman’s origins to boot. However, if the rumors are true and Snyder has A) reined in his literalist impulses and B) the film is based on the outstanding Superman: Birthright comic series, this may be the Man of Steel we’ve been waiting 30 years to see.
World War Z | June 21 [trailer]
The Max Brooks novel upon which this film is based may be the greatest zombie story ever written — seriously. Sadly, a half-decade of turnaround hell, a cavalcade of rewrites, and interminable studio meddling look to have turned Brooks’s nuanced, self-aware reflection on the zombie apocalypse genre into just another overwrought action-horror vehicle for Brad Pitt. But, hey, at least it will look pretty.
The Lone Ranger | July 3 [trailer]
Director Gore Verbinski, producer Jerry Bruckheimer, and star Johnny Depp — the same insane genius trio that turned a dated 1950s-era theme park ride into the irreverently fun Pirates of the Caribbean mega-franchise — now set their sights on the dated 1950s-era Western hero with the catchiest theme music ever. This time Armie Hammer takes Orlando Bloom’s place as the impossibly handsome protagonist who will be inevitably upstaged by Depp’s trickster sidekick. More simply, Hammer plays the Ranger, who may or may not be a resurrected avenging angel, while Depp plays the nigh-offensive Indian stereotype Tonto, who serves as his spirit guide. Hi-ho, Silver!
Pacific Rim | July 12 [trailer]
Guillermo Del Toro gave us Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth, so he’s clearly a visual genius. He also spent no small part of his youth watching Japanese kaiju monster flicks and anime TV series, which he has attempted to distill into their ultimate essence — a CGI blockbuster that is entirely giant mecha robots fighting giant alien monsters. I have no idea if there’s even a storyline here, and doubt that one is even necessary. It’s giant monsters fighting giant robots. Robots with rocket fists. I don’t care if mecha are stupid, they’re also awesome. Set your brain to “12-year-old boy” and go.
Ender’s Game | Nov. 1 [no trailer yet]
They’re finally putting one of the most significant military sci-fi novels ever written to film. Asa Butterfield — who stole the show as the lead in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo — plays Ender Wiggin, the abused genius trained to save the human race from extinction at the hands of an implacable alien enemy. Harrison Ford is Colonel Graff, the monstrous military instructor charged with getting Ender ready for his mission by any means necessary. Ben Kingsley pops in as Mazer Rackham, the only man ever to defeat the “buggers,” but who may have precious little to teach his callow successor. Whether director Gavin Hood — whose only major previous credit was the middling X-Men Origins: Wolverine — can deliver on this film’s limitless potential is perhaps the greatest mystery of the 2013 geek movie season. If he can’t, we nerds may finally burn Tinseltown to the ground.
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug | Dec. 13 [no trailer yet]
It’s the next Hobbit movie, and it’s the first one with the dragon. I’m pretty sure a few dozen of us are already in line.
Of course, any top 10 list is going to inspire debate. To foster the argument, here are the other 40 geek movies of 2013 that might plausibly belong in our lineup. I await your comments, critiques, and barely contained nerd-rage in the discussion section.
- 47 Ronin
- 300: Rise of an Empire
- The ABCs of Death
- About Time
- Beautiful Creatures
- The Conjuring
- The Croods
- Dark Skies
- Despicable Me 2
- Dorothy of Oz
- The End of the World
- Escape from Planet Earth
- Evil Dead
- G.I. Joe: Retaliation
- A Good Day to Die Hard
- Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
- The Host
- The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
- I, Frankenstein
- Insidious Chapter 2
- Jack the Giant Slayer
- Jurassic Park 3D
- Kick-Ass 2
- Monsters University
- The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
- Oz: The Great and Powerful
- Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
- Red 2
- Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
- Thor: The Dark World
- Warm Bodies
- Winter’s Tale
- The Wolverine
- Zero Theorem
Editor’s note: TechRepublic’s Geekend blog is coming to an end this year in order for us to focus all of our resources on business technology topics. The Geekend blog has had a great run, thanks to our wonderful contributors and our loyal readers. We would love to hear which Geekend posts and/or discussions are your favorites.