After Hours

The 25 most quotable geek films...ever!

The 25 films that are not only near and dear to the average geek's heart, but have produced at least one indispensable quote that can and should be used at every opportunity.

A long time ago, in a Geekend far, far away, we compiled a list of the 10 Most Quotable Geek Films...Ever! As time (and incessant blog comments) have taught me, that list was woefully incomplete. Thus, we bring you the 25 films that are not only near and dear to the average geek's heart, but have produced at least one indispensable quote that can and should be used at every opportunity.

25. UHF: "Today we're teaching poodles how to fly."

24. The Usual Suspects: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

23. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: "You have chosen...wisely."

22. WarGames: "The only winning move is not to play."

21. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: "KHANNN!!!!"

20. They Live: " I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."

19. Caddyshack: "And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. "

18. The Blues Brothers: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it."

17. Aliens: "I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

16. Office Space: "If they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire."

15. Serenity: "I aim to misbehave."

14. Superman II: "Kneel before Zod!"

13. Goonies: "Sloth love Chunk!"

12. Die Hard: "Ho-ho-ho. Now I have a machine gun."

11. Army Of Darkness: "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

10. The Matrix: "I know kung fu."

9. Tombstone: "I'm your Huckleberry."

8. Spaceballs: "What's the matter Colonel Sandurz, chicken?"

7. Airplane: "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

6. Real Genius: "I was contemplating the immortal words of Socrates who said, 'I drank what?'"

5. Ghostbusters: "Back off man, I'm a scientist" or "Listen! You smell something?" or, as always, "He slimed me!" Perhaps the first truly great geek quotefest.

4. Pulp Fiction: "'What' ain't no country I've ever heard of. They speak English in What?" or "Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like?" or...about 200 other great lines that our standards of conduct prevent me from quoting here. But it's awesome, and you know it.

3. The Princess Bride: "Inconceivable!" or "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. " Or, the ultimate token of love, "As you wish!"

2. The Empire Strikes Back: "Luke, I am your father!" plus "Scruffy-looking nerfherder!" plus pretty much every cool thing Yoda has ever said. Strong in the quotes is this one.

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Lots of Monty Python films have irreplaceable and timeless dialogue, but this was the troupe's magnum quotable opus. Don't believe me? Then recall...

  • "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. "
  • "Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
  • "Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
  • "If she weighed the same as a duck...she's made of wood." "And therefore?" "A witch!"
  • "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

You get the point. A geek would be justified in quoting pretty much the entire movie, and I can think of at least a dozen personal acquaintances who could do so. Unbidden. During pretty much any D&D session. But then, we've all been there.

Honorable mentions: Back to the Future, Bladerunner, Big Trouble in Little China, Buckaroo Banzaii Across the 8th Dimension, The Godfather, Young Frankenstein, and Ronin. Think we missed a film, or just need an excuse to throw out a favorite quote? See you in comments section.

Related Geekend post: So many geek movies, so many quotes.

About

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

442 comments
donnie126_2002
donnie126_2002

Like many other Star Wars fans, you've misquoted Darth Vader. What he actually said was:


Vader: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me /you/ killed him!"

Vader: "No. /I/ am your father."


Oh, and while we're on the subject, how about "Back to the Future"? "ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE JIGAWATTS!!!" [sic]

Beastman2012
Beastman2012

You missed my favorite Ghostbusters quote. "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES'!"

flava_K
flava_K

Here's the clean, edited for TV version that you wanted to add: "Yippee ki yay, mr. falcon."

voiddreamer
voiddreamer

Flight of the Navigator? One of my favorite childhood films, "Compliance" is that the top of my list. Also 100% agree with mitkwi on the 2001 quote.

yodi.collins
yodi.collins

Akima: You can't call a planet "Bob." Cale: So now you're the boss. You're the King of Bob. Akima: Can't we just call it "Earth"? Cale: No one said you have to live on Bob. Akima: I'm never calling it that.

critch
critch

Frau .... Blucher [Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers. Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.

brad
brad

OK. Its not out yet. So, the quote I hope they put in is (from the book) when Thorin Oakenshield says, "There's nothing like looking, if you want to find something."

cbbradley
cbbradley

"Bring me the machine that goes DING!"

cbbradley
cbbradley

"Bring me the machine that goes ding!" This is a great line for any techie!

kevinf
kevinf

Out of my way, Peck!

Brian.Buydens
Brian.Buydens

"Give me a ping Vasily. One ping only please." -- useful for debugging network problems...

TonyBaldi
TonyBaldi

how about "show me the money!". can't leave that one out

danielsweb
danielsweb

I like the conversation they had about Macdonalds at the start of Pulp fiction. Such a brilliant movie I watched it twice in a row. One of the greatest of all time for sure!

insuranceman1
insuranceman1

Admittedly, I'm an unreasonably big fan of this movie, but 'Shaun of the Dead' is so dang smart, nerdy, fun, and, of course, quotable. "There is an 'I' in pie, and there is an 'I' in 'meat pie,' and 'meat' is an anagram for 'team,'" "That'll really exacerbate things," "Yeah, Boi!!"

NHS Tony
NHS Tony

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

TwoWords
TwoWords

The only thing your leading is jack and shit and jack done left town.

kpdriver
kpdriver

Check out Cypher with Jeremy Northam & Lucy Liu. A great plot with some cool special effects.

GSG
GSG

We can never say that some result or situation was "abnormal". It's always abby-normal. And as long as there are no PTB's around, we quote Blazing Saddles quite freely. Anything made by Mel Brooks causes a quote fest.

sparent
sparent

"There can be only one!"

Frank Patton
Frank Patton

Tremors has a boat load of quotable lines. "And step on it""Consider it stepped on" "We all new it Bert, we just didn't tell you" "Can you fly sucker" "Fooooled you"(although I think that was the edited for TV version)

jayohem
jayohem

What ever happened to "We're on a mission from Gahd!"?

josmyth
josmyth

War Games: I'd pee on a spark plug if I thought it would help. Holy Grail: I fart in your general direction! Killer Tomatoes: Pass the ketchup.

junk
junk

I think they missed the best Pricess Bride quote: "Have fun storming the castle, boys". And, of course, the Blues Brothers "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.".

alopez
alopez

"Shake & Bake" baby!

jmariani
jmariani

Oh, it's Unix! I know that.

dhamilt01
dhamilt01

I say we take off and nuke Washington. It's the only way to be sure the current bunch of arseholes don't bring down the world with their foolishness.

Gothar
Gothar

I don't give a ding-dang!

Kazz10
Kazz10

"Your mother was a lizard!"

Verona
Verona

"If I didn't have puke breath I'd kiss you" Bob McKenzie, Strange Brew

Badge3832
Badge3832

I saw Princess Bride. Maybe Monty Python (saw one and hated it) None of the other 23. Did I miss anything?

gnagle
gnagle

Crapgame's immortal and oft used: "Very good. You win a cookie."

larry.thornburg
larry.thornburg

WAY too many great quotes. Some of the classics: "Evidently your friend did not realize that here in East Germany we use 220 volt current. He was found in his hotel room impaled upon a large electrical device. Our surgeons did what they could, but it took them two hours just to get the smile off his face." "What is the condition of Sergeant Kruger? Yes. I see. He's dead. Well, let me know if there is any change in his condition." "I know a little German. He's sitting over there."

Jhausman
Jhausman

"No wait take too long. Let me sum up." Princess Bride I used that one a couple of times. Another that is quote worthy has to be Grandma's Boy. "How much do cloths cost in the Matrix?" "Samantha don't take the blue pill!"

Jay Garmon
Jay Garmon

...I shall count myself a failure.

acarl0513
acarl0513

Kubrick stated the only really intentional joke in all of 2001 was the instructions for the zero-G toilet. You can read anything into anything, as stated by Lex Luthor in Superman: "Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe." And so it goes.

Sterling chip Camden
Sterling chip Camden

I saw it in a theater when it first came out, along with my girlfriend at the time. I don't think she appreciated my howling laughter at that line.

eyesak
eyesak

Cypher, Missed that one - Hmm - may have to check that out.Thanks

NickNielsen
NickNielsen

my students (every class, too) claimed to be serious Mel Brooks fans. Then I'd lay a quote from Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, or Spaceballs on them and get nothing but blank looks... [shaking head] My personal favorite: "These are people of the land. The salt of the earth, the common clay of the New West. You know...morons."

NHS Tony
NHS Tony

The full quote is much better: I have something to say!, It is better to burn out, than to fade away... ..there can be only ONE!

2rs
2rs

one of my fav movies (loved the street dance sequence, Aretha, Rawhide fiasco,the godfather of Soul) but don't consider it geeky

Gothar
Gothar

If you'd keep up your 12 point maintenance plan we wouldn't have to jump start you like this.

slobodan.hajdin
slobodan.hajdin

Yeah, you missed a lot of General Culture. And that even if you are not a geek... of any kind.;)

JCitizen
JCitizen

gotta love OddBall! "There ya are with the negative waves again, Moriarty!!" "It's gonna be a mother beautiful bridge! And it is going to be there!" Crapgame, " Maybe he's a Republican!"

Tony Hopkinson
Tony Hopkinson

One closer then. I'll be back... A quote I used the other day in an attempt to explain teh Singleton pattern to a non-devloper. There can only be one... The Highlander rule.

eyesak
eyesak

According to Wiki's and Kubrick, HAL stands for "Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic computer". Here is a youtube video, that holds to the idea that HAL and IBM are related. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1r5dOwUS6Y Come to your own conclusion - or not :)

eyesak
eyesak

Hmm, so I hear you saying that HAL and IBM are related somehow to chewing gum wrappers and unlocking the secrets of the universe - I had always wondered about those connections. :) No matter what - I like the connection - just a neat coincidence? Maybe - or perhaps destiny knew, and compelled Kubrick to name the computer HAL. insert twilight zone music here :)

NickNielsen
NickNielsen

It was "NON!" Marceau was, after all, French.

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