Mobility

Top 10 ways technology can improve the holidays

The Trivia Geek has long been a fan of the holiday season, regardless of which version of the winter solstice festival you choose to celebrate. But as a geek, his holiday celebrations have always been...special.

The Trivia Geek has long been a fan of the holiday season, regardless of which version of the winter solstice festival you choose to celebrate. But as a geek, his holiday celebrations have always been...special. Likewise, many of his dorktacular allies have made the holiday season their own, thanks to the cunning use of technology. Thus, we give you...

The Trivia Geek's Top 10 Ways Technology Can Improve The Holidays

10. Develop a custom Web spider algorithm that can determine -- via popularity -- once and for all which is the greatest Weird Al Christmas song: The Night Santa Went Crazy or Christmas at Ground Zero?

Klingon Christmas9. With a cunning combination of voice-recognition software, Wi-Fi Babelfish access, and recycled Apple Newtons, construct a handheld device that can spontaneously translate Christmas carols into Klingon, Elvish, or binary.

8. Three words: Fusion Plasma Menorah.

7. Code out a series of levels in Counterstrike that mimic Nakatomi Plaza (including the atrium Christmas party) as seen in Die Hard.

Futurama - Robot Santa6. Create a weaponized form of mistletoe for use on the office jerk who hangs a sprig of the normal stuff over his cubicle in the hopes the hot secretary will smooch him.

5. Build a real Robot Santa from Futurama. Genetically engineer a version of Multiple Santa from The Tick. Pit them against each other in your own personal geek-holiday Thunderdome. Film it. Send the video to YouTube. Make a million dollars. Repeat.

Ozymandias Victory Speech4. Two words: caffeinated eggnog.

3. Develop a viable equivalent of warp drive and indefinite self-contained life-support, then celebrate Saturnalia on Saturn.

2. Develop nanotech-based smart ammo for the common Red Rider BB Gun that will automatically alter a projectile's course before you shoot your eye out.

1. Peace on earth, and goodwill towards men...as brought to you by Adrien Veidt. (Spoiler warning: Don't click if you haven't read Watchmen.)

Okay, boys and girls, how would you use technology to improve the holidays? Show your work, and give examples. Go!

About

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

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