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Top 25 geek New Year's resolutions for 2012

Here are 25 suggested resolutions for the dork-tacular among us.

Every year, many mere mortals make pledges of self-improvement to justify the next trip around the sun. We geeks are no different, though our resolutions might be. For 2012, I hereby resolve to...

  1. Stop explaining ThinkGeek t-shirts to people who clearly don't care.
  2. No longer utter l33t-speak acronyms out loud, let alone in conversation with n00bs.
  3. Cease referring to George Lucas as "The Destroyer of Worlds!"
  4. Stop feeding the trolls.
  5. Not use xkcd comics as arguments in online debates, even when someone is wrong on the Internet.
  6. Let the whole Windows/Linux/Mac thing go. Mostly. (Maybe.)
  7. Stop pointing out which webcomic originated the t-shirts worn by characters on The Big Bang Theory.
  8. Finally board and polybag all my comics. Yes, even the Chuck Austen X-Men run.
  9. Only use movie quotes and catchphrases once per conversation. Even the Monty Python ones.
  10. Spend at least one hour a day in direct sunlight. (Lunar reflected sunlight does not count.)
  11. Only record as much content on my DVR as I have waking hours in the week.
  12. Watch science-fiction programs without audibly correcting the science. Even during Fringe.
  13. Stop explaining the difference between Wil Wheaton and Evil Wil Wheaton. (Yes, there is one).
  14. Watch movie and TV adaptations without audibly pointing out deviations from the book or comic. Even during Game of Thrones.
  15. Provide adequate spoiler warnings.
  16. Not threaten to kill those who fail to provide adequate spoiler warnings.
  17. Forgive people who confuse Star Wars and Star Trek. Mostly. (Maybe.)
  18. Accept that EnterprisemidichloriansMutt Williamsplanet Zeist, and the Eighth Doctor are all canon.
  19. Not refer to real-world group activities as "raids," or venues as "instances."
  20. Admit that raids and instances are not real-world group activities. Not even in The Old Republic.
  21. Refer to my friends by their names, not their Twitter handles.
  22. Learn the real names of all my Twitter friends.
  23. Spend more time updating my blog than redesigning it.
  24. Accept that not everyone celebrates Pi Day, Yuri's Night, Tau Day, Towel Day, Star Wars Day, and Talk Like A Pirate Day. (But celebrate them anyway.)
  25. Forgive the Fox Television Network. Mostly. (Maybe.)

Got a geek-centric resolution you're keeping next year? Share it in the comments section.

About

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

7 comments
Network Guy
Network Guy

absolutely, totally impossible. What a bunch of CSMFs they are. I would ingest glass before #25. YMMV. Stopped smoking cold-turkey in 2001.

sysop-dr
sysop-dr

If you smoke, stop smoking. I know not a geek only one but there are geeks who smoke and they should stop. Using the patch is not cheating (unless you like using cheat codes in which case it's a cheat code.) We are smart people, we need to be healthy smart people.

Michael Jay
Michael Jay

1920x1080 a resolution I can keep, at least till the next monitor. ]:)

HAL 9000
HAL 9000

I don't think it's even possible to go that far and even if it was is it worth it? Maybe I'm just way too old to change that much. ;) Col

Jay Garmon
Jay Garmon

...but I'll make a game effort. What's your easiest and most difficult on the list?

Sterling chip Camden
Sterling chip Camden

... on my notebook, after the FreeBSD kernel gets updated to support the latest Intel drivers.

Sterling chip Camden
Sterling chip Camden

Nearly impossible. And if you're seriously attempting #9, you are indeed brave, Sir Knight.

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