Every year, many mere mortals make pledges of self-improvement to justify the next trip around the sun. We geeks are no different, though our resolutions might be. For 2012, I hereby resolve to...
- Stop explaining ThinkGeek t-shirts to people who clearly don't care.
- No longer utter l33t-speak acronyms out loud, let alone in conversation with n00bs.
- Cease referring to George Lucas as "The Destroyer of Worlds!"
- Stop feeding the trolls.
- Not use xkcd comics as arguments in online debates, even when someone is wrong on the Internet.
- Let the whole Windows/Linux/Mac thing go. Mostly. (Maybe.)
- Stop pointing out which webcomic originated the t-shirts worn by characters on The Big Bang Theory.
- Finally board and polybag all my comics. Yes, even the Chuck Austen X-Men run.
- Only use movie quotes and catchphrases once per conversation. Even the Monty Python ones.
- Spend at least one hour a day in direct sunlight. (Lunar reflected sunlight does not count.)
- Only record as much content on my DVR as I have waking hours in the week.
- Watch science-fiction programs without audibly correcting the science. Even during Fringe.
- Stop explaining the difference between Wil Wheaton and Evil Wil Wheaton. (Yes, there is one).
- Watch movie and TV adaptations without audibly pointing out deviations from the book or comic. Even during Game of Thrones.
- Provide adequate spoiler warnings.
- Not threaten to kill those who fail to provide adequate spoiler warnings.
- Forgive people who confuse Star Wars and Star Trek. Mostly. (Maybe.)
- Accept that Enterprise, midichlorians, Mutt Williams, planet Zeist, and the Eighth Doctor are all canon.
- Not refer to real-world group activities as "raids," or venues as "instances."
- Admit that raids and instances are not real-world group activities. Not even in The Old Republic.
- Refer to my friends by their names, not their Twitter handles.
- Learn the real names of all my Twitter friends.
- Spend more time updating my blog than redesigning it.
- Accept that not everyone celebrates Pi Day, Yuri's Night, Tau Day, Towel Day, Star Wars Day, and Talk Like A Pirate Day. (But celebrate them anyway.)
- Forgive the Fox Television Network. Mostly. (Maybe.)
Got a geek-centric resolution you're keeping next year? Share it in the comments section.
Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger — amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can also follow him on his personal blog.