Windows

Video: Steve Ballmer pitches Windows 1.0

How into the wayback machine and check out Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's Vintage 60-second pitch for Windows 1.0, complete with "hip" and "fresh" references to such timeless memes as Ferraris and <em>Miami Vice</em>.

How into the wayback machine and check out Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer's Vintage 60-second pitch for Windows 1.0, complete with "hip" and "fresh" references to such timeless memes as Ferraris and Miami Vice. You know, between this and the MS-DOS 5.0 rap video, I'm beginning to give credence to those "Bill Gates sold his sold to Chthulu" explanations for Microsoft's stranglehold on the PC market.

Hat tip to my buddy Lizard for this...(ahem)...find.

About

Jay Garmon has a vast and terrifying knowledge of all things obscure, obtuse, and irrelevant. One day, he hopes to write science fiction, but for now he'll settle for something stranger -- amusing and abusing IT pros. Read his full profile. You can a...

26 comments
jms
jms

I've seen better - and less hysterical - used car commercials.

tvanalst
tvanalst

for us old timers, it was Microsoft Windows Executive, linking with OLE, INI's and hacking EXE's and the then meager Registry with WordPad. As for the validity of the video, best to ask the source, but I do remember beta testing and participating in the introduction of Microsoft Access 2.0 with them all. And I might add that it was humorous when Mr. Bill got the "Blue Screen of Death" during a presentation.

russte
russte

At the risk of being accused of being anal retentive, did anyone check this post out for "typos" I mean seriously "How into the wayback" reads better as "Now into the wayback" and as for "timeless memes" shouldn't this be "timeless themes" and "sold his sold to" makes more sense if it was "sold his soul to".

marquis
marquis

seem to be part and parcel of threads. If I were an English teacher, I would go absolutely bonkers, cuz I would have to korekt all the bad spealing on all them threads, and I kud never get to reed them all, becuz thear are just two many of them. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if the schools are even bothering with spelling, grammar and good English these days, in addition to all the Politically Correct CRAP the are passing off as education these days! DAMN! Time to get off my soap box and get back to geekdom.

pmbrent
pmbrent

I was waiting for the buy now and we will double you problems all you pay is the shipping. Pauline

charincol
charincol

you can find it thru filesharing networks like bittorent and eMule and install it in Virtual PC. I have 1.01, 1.02, 1.03, 1.03 for 286, 1.04, 2.1, 2.1 for 286, 2.03, 2.11 for 286, 3.0, 3.1, 3.11. (Browsing the internet at broadband speeds thru IE 5.01 under 3.11 was a fun little project.) Also have DOS 1.0, 1.1, 2.2, 3.2, 3.3, 3.21, 4.01, 5.0, 6.0, 6.2, 6.22 and DOS 7 beta. Steve Ballmer was an idiot before he had millions.

Big Ole Jack
Big Ole Jack

even if the software is obsolete and over 2 decades old. Yes, we as IT professionals all know about torrents and P2P networks, but it's not something we discuss here or promote.

crookesf
crookesf

You can't pirate what you can't licence, It is not piracy to freely distribute or accept anything up to and including Windows 98 and ME. Retailers cannot sell them for more than the cost of a disc because they no longer require a licence.

tonyfriendly
tonyfriendly

Very funny take. Makes you wonder though to what extent M$ might go. Made my day!

arvliet
arvliet

Steve - You rock..! Do you mind doing us all a favour - pitch Server 2008 in a polyester suit? Or maybe a straight white Don Johnson suit. You know - sticking with the Miami Vice theme. I love a nice slice of well-aged fine cheddar on a friday morning; It makes me "hahaha!".

Big Ole Jack
Big Ole Jack

after announcing that MS has bought out Sierra Software and will be re-releasing the game to run on X-Box 360. That man is certifiably off his rocker.

Big Ole Jack
Big Ole Jack

He's screaming like a wild ape and prancing around like one too...yeah...just like most corporate executives of billion dollar corps should.....NOT!

Big Ole Jack
Big Ole Jack

in that old video like he did on stage when he talked about "developers, developers, developers". He was a hyperactive prick back then and is still a hyperactive prick now. He should take lessons from ole Billy on how to mellow out.

itmanager
itmanager

Excellent spoof! It had me going for a moment but about 15 seconds into the clip the guy didn't look like Ballmer any more.

TechExec2
TechExec2

Nope! That IS the real Steve Ballmer. That video is 20 years old. ALL of us looked a lot younger in 1987! :^0

kitico
kitico

I hate that Steve Ballmer guy. It's weird to see him doing a cheesy sales pitch for the consumer. I guess I'd be a jerk too if I had to do things like that for a living and kiss Bill's pucker at the same time.

Neil Higgins
Neil Higgins

My God,and I thought I was weird after too much coffee.

fred.stemp
fred.stemp

Pretty cool to see this. I actually have a copy in the box on 5" floppy. Used it in a Vista demo not too long ago. How far we have come!

Nicholas.Newman@Skynet.be
Nicholas.Newman@Skynet.be

I left my copy with my then employers when I left. Fit for the museum I suspect they never created! This is showing our ages! Like early versions of dBase, Multiplan, paper tape, punched cards, operating systems that were still patchable by a "normal" human being with some chance of success, 2.4Kbps modems, TTY consoles etc. But I suspect if I go on I'll be told I should be in a different thread.

radicalspud
radicalspud

the Missing Link. and what's better...he's still alive! i'll take Steve Jobs over this moron any day. Ballmer makes me want to go back to hiding the fact that i have any interaction with Windows at all. he's like everything i hate about corporate America and all my youthful embarrassment about being a tech nerd rolled up into one sweaty, spastic package. thank you Apple for making computers look cool and hip, even if people hate Mac users for being uppity.

seanferd
seanferd

funny how a "take-off" humor based ad out-does the originals, and anything else that style of commercial/"infomercial" has thrown at us over the years. Including spray-on hair.

Sudsy100
Sudsy100

I still have the Windows Runtime version (I believe it was called 1.0) that came bundled with the first release of PageMaker (before you could buy a copy of Windows standalone). It's on 5 & 1/4" diskettes stashed somewhere in a box in the depths of my attic along with a still-working IBM 4.77 XT, a CPM, and the 286 that ran PageMaker and Windows Runtime. Gawd . . . I thought it was safe to remember the past again. Now I'll have to either hire a therapist, use medication or embrace the horror ;-)

tvanalst
tvanalst

Gawd... U say, do all of the above, and anything else that will keep your mind busy ! it is the only sanity that we have at our age !

Editor's Picks