Turn the tables on them
I had a recruiter contacting me every couple of days asking me to take positions that just were not in my experience/salary range. I told him no repeatedly.
Finally, he got lucky and hit on a job that was pretty close to perfect for me, but at a salary that was just marginally better than what I was getting.
So I told him that I was interested in interviewing for it. The interview was over the phone. The company was an international, and so I started to take it seriously, but with relocation and having to make my bones again, I wanted everything locked down.
So I wrote up a list of what I had to have to make the change. He calls back and says no company is going to agree to this. You have to take what they offer. At that point I told him to call back when he had a client that could match what I had on the list. He hasn't called back since.
If you go into a relationship expecting to have to conform to their expectations, you will. If you go into it with a realistic idea of what will make you happy, and they live up to the agreement, you have no kick coming.
You said it sounded like matchmaking. Lots of jobs last longer than marriages today. So don't appologize for trying to make sure the two parties are compatible.
