EQ not IQ
Anger is best left out of the workplace regardless of gender.
Male anger represents a fear response (both for himself and to those he directs his anger to). This leads to the ostrich effect with the bottom line of little productivity gain if any.
Female anger becomes more personal but rarely engenders fear but may have the same outcomes of little or no productivity.
Regardless of gender, anger is not a management tool but is indicative of low EQ (EQ - is a measure of your emotional intelligence, or your ability to use both your emotions and cognitive skills in your life. Emotional intelligence competencies include but are not limited to empathy, intuition, creativity, flexibility, resilience, coping, stress management, leadership, integrity, authenticity, intra personal skills and interpersonal skills.)
When I'm approached by a manager displaying anger, my first instinct is to flee. But that lasts a micro millisecond. I actually become calmer and quieter until the anger is spewed back on the manager giving it. Responding "kind for kind" may be a male bonding ritual but in the real world where both genders must coexist in all manner of emotions, your EQ at the end of the day will determine your true management/leadership capability. By the way, my calm approach to these issues are sometimes misconstrued as "cold" and emotionless. But that's far from the truth.
As to seeming incompetent, it's in the eyes of the beholder. Female anger for males = no fear and see incompetence. Male anger for females = fear and see a father type/leader figure. Do I like this? No but this is the reality born by years of societal conditioning. Will the female gender ever achieve, at minimum, equality in this area? I do see it happening even now; but it's slow and often achieved at the expense of loosing one's current social pecking order.
