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Sanity check: 10 dirty little secrets you should know about working in IT

I was working on a helpdesk a few years back.. and working during a Hurricane. I got a call from a guy in one of the local buildings.. He wanted to know why the Elevator would not work and if I could fix them. I said, "Well, are there lights on?" He said, "A few". I said, "Are there any security guards at the front desk?" He said, "No.". I said, "Well, sir, its probably because the building is on generator power because of the Hurricane that is currently hitting us". He then said, "Well how am I supposed to get to work on the 3rd floor". I couldn't help but reply, "You could try using the stairs."

Gotta love helpdesk work.

You aren't kidding on "If it plugs into a wall it belongs to IT"

When I came in to this position (MIS Manager), not only did I take on all IT/IS, including the phone system (Merlin) and every thing it entails, the security system at our Corporate Office, all technology aspects basically, I suddenly, had to negotiate phone contracts (T1, Potts Lines, Long Distance), lease agreements on office machines (collecting information, proposal writing, signing, canceling, and making sure I am on top of them before they expire!).

Doesn't stop there... I have even so much as had the Office Supply Ordering (from erasures to furniture - including fax and printers, and flippin chairs!) on my lap! WTF - I did it prior to, and was expected to after landing this job?!

Oh and I can't forget the ever so kick ass part of my job - calling on my bosses satellite account to line up a tech to repair his satellite issue (even had one of my own guys at his house to fix this - to find he needed to cut down some trees - sorry people, that was one job me or my department didn't get hired for lol). Oh and, I was even delegated to call and get a credit on his satellite bill! Once again...WTF!

I have brought this job to a whole new level compared to what the prior MIS Manager did. Maybe Webster ought to re-define IT in his blessed dictionary.

I like to say I'm more in a Project Manager/MIS Manager/Jack of All Trades position. If it shows up on a computer monitor (including a friggin office supply website lol), is plugged in to the wall, or hangs off the wall, has any of the following letters M, T, S, C, H, F, X, P, and every vowel in the alphabet - this department owns it, is responsible for it, and will inevitably be involved in it.

I was a sys admin on cruise ships for a while and at that time there was only one person for everything and anything onboard. One month I got woken up over 90 times. Onboard, you had to put on a uniform and go out to deal with the problem (with a smile on).

One of those calls was a monitor that went dead in the middle of a report at 2:00 in the morning. It was turned off.

Another favorite of mine that month was "I was playing a video game and the screen just turned red! I didn't know what to do!" You can guess my response to that one.

No joke, I had sleep problems for about 7 years after that month. Similar to shell shock, every small noise I would hear made me jump and I couldn't get back to sleep.

with the phones.

"We need a new phone system. What is the best one and how much will it be? When will you be done installing it?"

IT is not telco

I am the Distance Learning coordinator where i work - CIV, video conferencing, etc. At first "if it plugs in" came about, then it was "well, if it uses batteries or turns on or plugs in" and now, basically if it has any kind of wiring (say, the outdoor lighting ballast or a pedometer), it now falls under part of my jurisdiction.... Go figure.

Oh no! Not a computerized cappucino maker!

It's just a matter of time before someone calls the help desk about the "new computerized device in the pantry."

I sent the call back because the coffeemaker was still under warranty and we don't have that contract!

use your fist!

The ideal way to respond to this is to bring the cappacino maker into the IT dept for "testing".

you don't also have to deal with digital cable. The smaller the IT department, the more collateral crap you get stuck with.

I have had users come to me complaining that the AC was not working correctly.. Really, a Network Engineer & HVAC Engineer are not the same thing..

Neither are actually 'engineers'.

Is it obligatory to have a degree that is recognised by an international Institute for either job?

Sketchy, you need to get over yourself.

It can be an academic title, a business title, or a job, e.g. engineer of a locomotive

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engineer
People who work as engineers typically have an academic degree (or equivalent work experience) in one of the engineering disciplines.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engineering
"One who practices engineering is called an engineer"

When I had the title of Senior IT Engineer (without any degree), I had people reporting to me (with degrees) who were barely qualified to install Windows (as long as the system didn't have to join a domain).

for decades without ever possessing a degree. Of course, he operated a freight train. Train operators have been called engineers for over 100 years since they work with an engine.

I have to look after our printers, fax machines (and fix them when there are problems), sort out all our telephones (all analog) look after our users (60 in total) help our "outside" users as well as do all server maintenance and fix any problems with the servers. Then when I ask for a techie to help me, the company wants me to draw up a list of exactly how I spend my time and where out of the IT budget the techie's salary will come.....

And they wonder why I have handed in my resignation...

My job description says servers, computers, laptops, printers, faxes, MFDs, scanners, and THE POSTAGE METER? Yeah, the postage meter. It has to dial in every 3 months to check a dollar balance. That makes it electronic, so it falls in my job description.

I got the ###### postage meter too. I'm still trying to figure out how that happened.

I can not agree more with you... But I am also struggling with the time attendance clock , phone lines, cell phones. Management also wanted that IT get involved with programming PLC on the conveyors just because PLC is a "programming language".
My IT colleagues and I were making fun that also in the near future we will also take care of the coffee machine and the water cooler dispenser.

Boy do I understand that. I am in charge of all of that (and assumed to be the local expert), as well as the TV system, cell phones, home entertainment systems (don't ask). If it uses electricty I must be an expert.

I work for a small company that has about 90 computers and 6 servers. It is just me and an SQL programmer that make up the IT dept. Since the programmer does not do anything except programming, I am expected to do everything else including the phone system, alarm system, security cameras and card access system. It is a chemical company and since the scales and gas chromatography units connect to computers, I am expected to know everything about those as well. Not to mention maitain the documentation, which could be a full time job in itself. I do not view myself as being irreplacable but it would be impossible to duplicate me.

Over the years I have been asked to fix copiers, electric staplers and my personal favorite the soda machine (because I must moonlight for Coke or Pepsi).
11b) Also have you experienced the knowledge by proximity rule. If you sit by a device you must know how to fix it. Be careful where your desk is located or you may be working on some mass spectrometer that is used to measure fine particulates that is in the next cube.

My responsibility relates to software we provide to our clients.

I get asked about our e-mail systems - from a guy who sits opposite me and can see that I don't have anything to do with company systems!

I get asked about company IT policy, about every little desktop hiccup, and why is the network down, and why can't I log on to a web site. I was even asked whilst reading this thread about some IT hardware mounted on a train that I have never laid eyes on.

Sometimes I kid people a bit. "The network was brought down by someone accessing a non-work related web site. Some software is being installed to catch them when they do it again, so that they can be sacked." "Oh no - what have you done? I would call IT, but do you want risk them finding out?"
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8^)
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lol, awesome replies... you should go in the BOFH group of IT legends!

I am not sure if we can plug other websites here or not, but: www.theregister.co.uk under odds and sods. Love the humor. BTW: the article is fantastic.

Ever notice in the world in ever increasing paychecks as you climb the IT ladder, you find the carrot dangling in front of you with a leash just out of sight. if you want the big bucks, it would seem that you'd have to bend over. I know it doesn't mean I have arrived nor is it a status symbol showing that you are important.

I recall speaking to one of the IT guys where I was a consultant and he had received his 4th pager because he kept slamming into the brick mantle over the fireplace.

-Frank

We do have an odd bit of classism here. Where I work now, I feel rather blue collar. I get called out for everything. I get under desks and behind cupboards. But, they still insist I wear slacks and a dress shirt. Oh, and they want a university degree. *chuckle*

In the US, IT workers are not classified as professionals in many states. I know this because a friend of mine ended up with a nice fat check for $10,000.oo when a disgruntled former coworker of his reported their company to the state. The company had to pay each of its present and former employees for back uncompensated overtime.

but that person had left before rule went into effect. However a co-worker and I both got back pay for OT for almost a year. Luckily I write down in daily notes under outlook, when I came in each day, what I did and when I left, every day so simply whipped up a spreadsheet listing actual OT. Got check for a couple thou.

We've just been merged. Our old company dress code was jeans/dockers and a company shirt. The new company dress code is khakis and a polo shirt. I wear through a set of jeans in about a year. I suspect I'll be buying a new pair of khakis every month.

they want as many degrees as they can get. If on applicant for custodian has a degree, he would beat out 100 others with far more cleaning experience. Every submission to the FDA includes the number of degreed personnel at the work site, whether or not any of those degrees apply to the work being performed. In IT at a pharma, degrees beat experience and real IT knowledge any day.

11)Non technical coworkers will assume that if it draws electricity, you are an expert.

If you're a programmer, expect them to ask you about networking, the fax machine and pencil sharpeners, if you're a developer, expect them to ask you about support, et cetera...

ROFL!

and don't forget the coffee pot too!

...they don't expect I'm an expert with the coffee pot because I'm in IT, they expect I'm the expert because there's always hot coffee on my desk.

My grandmother taught me to make coffee that she learned to make coming to Colorado in a wagon a hundred years ago. Most espresso is weak when compared to Grandma's coffee.

I made coffee ONCE after it was pointed out that I was the first one in the office in the mornings. They will not let me make it anymore and I am not allowed near the coffeemaker.

Basically you are not seen in the Business, except as a COST - IT is only seen when it's NOT working - then you are a even higher and inefficient COST

another one: being a Helpdesk agent means being an IT god - you are expected to know everything, fix everything and better yesterday then today.

One of the Dirty Little Secrets that users know and IT pros don't is that all you need is a button to add functionality. Really, it's just a button.

Went to Staples - Have me an Easy Button on my desk. Amazing how I can now do everything with the addition of a button!!! Heh heh heh

I have one of those buttons and just by pushing it once a day keeps my brain filled with all the written knowledge of IT! And when I wear the Geek Squad shirt I got for Christmas last year, I can raise the dead and walk on water too!

End-users never understand the complexities involved in IT.

They don't understand DNS, much less the difference between MX and A records.

They don't understand ports, port forwarding through NAT, IP addressing or access control.

But if they see you sit down and adjust a setting to a slightly different port or different address, they think, 'that's all there was to that?'

Yes. That is the extent of my technical knowledge. Settings-Preference-SMTP Server Port-225. Next time your printer wont work, give it a try. It'll get you going.

This is why Excel courses are overflowing. Everyone thinks that IT is as easy as understanding (at face value) the main settings dialog, and everyone can make a fortune at it by reaching that ever-so-hard-to-attain goal.

We are a "cost" as well, one of the first to go, and get blamed, etc. Yet pick just one of those that a company can do without.

Sometimes, you will have a 'manager', i.e., one who assumes that management is management and doesn't know squat about I.T. or even computers in general.
This one will throw a seasoned I.T. vet under the bus without hesitation.

Yep that is so true. Since it's IT we should know all about it and if not then why did they hire us.

13) The business considers you to be a COST center, not a profit center. You need to be prepared to demonstrate your value or you'll be gone the moment there are layoffs.

If you set yourself up as a cost center, you will be seen as a cost center. If you set yourself up as a profit center, you will be seen as a profit center. For example, a Desktop Support department buys hardware and software for the rest of the company, and makes sure that everything stays running on the desktop PCs. If the cost of the PCs is borne by the Desktop Support department, then IT is a cost center. If the Desktop Support bills internally for the cost of purchases and of service (a budget model that many companies have been using for years now), it will become, if not a profit center, at elast a zero-based budget center.

14) Expect to be out of work, IT is an Ebb and flow industry, when times are good, everyone wants you, when times are bad, nobody wants you. Have at LEAST 6 months savings in the bank at all times.

If you expect to be out of work, you will be out of work. People must have their computers, and as long as this situation exists, there will be employment for IT professionals. I don't see many people moving closer to going without a PC in the next 30 years or more, by which time I will be retired.

point 11) people will expect you to be able to fix ANYTHING electrical or electronic, photocopiers,phones,toasters etc.

For some odd reason, I GET computers. I can rip and strip, troubleshoot, build, network and even do a little programming. I'm all good. Then someone hands me a TV remote and asks why the DVD isn't showing up on the screen. (sigh and cry)

All my friends are techno-geeks. Moreover they are all guys and most of them are WindowHeads. I have to be able to speak Windows, Unix, Cisco, as well as Macintosh. AND I have to put up with their wives' attitudes when I understand more than they do about their husbands' business.

Twice now I have been laid off because I am a COST factor - I don't do sales, I don't bring in profits. Instead I am responsible for eating part of the profits, so I am expendable. One company head-hunted me for two YEARS! I moved their entire system to another facility, doubled the size of their network, set up a raid system, mirror and backup systems, even optimized their audio system. As soon as everything worked, they laid me off - downsizing!

You sure are positive! 6 months of savings in the bank, although this would be nice to have for anyone IT or non-IT is seems extreme. Maybe you should work in IT but at a company that is reliable. Healthcare and IT are a good match. Financial companies and IT seem to worry me the most as they go off shores more and layoff more frequently.

-T

i like the last two point, very well said.

User's expect IT pro's to be telepathic and anticipate their mistakes.

If its got an electrical plug on the end of it it's an IT issue.

If a business project fails because it was badly conceived well don't worry we'll can always blame the IT element for failing to deliver.

User's would like you to do their job that's what a service desk is for isn't it?

Remember: one AW **** gets rid of 99 Atta boys.

Speaking as a Network Admin, make sure to somehow let management (and not just your immediate supervisor) know about your accomplishments and efforts above and beyond the call. Upper management is most likely clueless regarding what your daily activities encompass. If things are going smoothly, you're lucky if you get benign neglect. If they don't know what you do to help keep things running smoothly then you're at risk during a downturn; more so if you are at the top of your pay grade. Document all significant accomplishments and efforts; e.g. cost savings, productivity enhancements, innovations, troubleshooting heroics, extra hours, etc. Don't assume that just because the rank and file appreciate your magic that the people who control the purse strings do.