*I* too am the difficult co-worker
And I can speak from experience.
I am a control freak and a perfectionnist, not a good combination, let me tell ya! But knowing is half the battle, and knowing and acknowledging that you have a problem is a big big step. You are half way home buddy!!
I've read and agree with most replies you got from your initial post. Here is my take on it. You seem to, like me, be afraid of looking bad and having something come back and bite you in the a$$ later on. So much so, that you look at your co-workers work to make sure it does not affect you. That is an unfortunate and hazardous chain of thought.
For myself, I started concentrating on the fact that I could only control myself, my thought, my work. Everything else is up in the air. I am not a religious man, but i started thinking zen where everything needs to be balanced in life. You need the good AND the bad. If you did not have the bad, you wouldn't know how to enjoy the good. Will something you did not do come back and bite you in the a$$? Absolutely, why? Because that's life. No matter how careful you try to be, something unexpected will pop up. So just try to control your own little world and keep your customers happy. If you know you do good work, thats all you need to concentrate on.
BTW, when you transfered your project to your co-worker. Your co-worker became your customer. If he was happy with what you gave him, but screwed it up anyways, you still did a good job. If you see him/her heading in the wrong direction, you might suggest a course change, but ultimatly, he/she is still at the helm and you need to work on accepting that.
Its not easy, I will admit it. I still have difficulties swallowing my pride and overcoming my pet peeves. But in the end, I have a better life for it.
Good luck
TCB
Edited for grammar and typos
