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    <title><![CDATA[Discussion on Steps you should take to stop the office bully ]]></title>
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        <title><![CDATA[exactly]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-3422904]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[It's embarassing but the whole thing had me so freaked out i had nightmares repeatedly, and was jumping at my own shadow. I'm rarely afraid of much, and been through some pretty hideous abuse in my life, but when someone takes your sense of reality away, that's just about the scariest thing... it goes from being really weird and confusing, to eventually downright terrifying, yet the perpetrator looks and sounds like an angel, a wax rosebud indeed, she posed as my friend to gain my trust, until the campaign begah, and others were enlisted others over time... the real face comes out only for me.]]></description>
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        <dc:creator><![CDATA[tarabeatty]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Sun, 27 Feb 2011 08:31:47 -0800</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[one more thing... Yes, tell the story!]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-3422902]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[I kept notes from day 1, just because that's what I do... but when the insanity started. I thought it was project stress, so I kept writing &quot;project issue notes&quot;. Then my entire world turned upside-down (after 2+ years on an intense and troubled project) but doing some of the best work in my life! When it was over, I thought the stress would pass ... no, instead the abusive supervisor took advantage of the chance to shove me incrementally into isolation, gatekeeping info and resources I'd need to do my job; credibility destroyed, stripped of responsibilities I actually excelled at, and eventually: labeled &quot;trouble&quot;... eventually the reprimands started, and pretty sure the goal was termination, destruction of me/my career, or both. I'd never been an employee in &quot;trouble&quot;, always and still did high quality work! So this was not a situation I was accustomed to. Accused of flat out lies, things that nobody would have believed a few years ago... things I woulld never even dream of doing! But now people believe it. ..Quality of work... well in IT people often can't &quot;see&quot; the full picture of what work entials, so it's easy for an abusive manager to take advantage of that ambiguous understanding others have of the amount of time and effort complex technical functions entail. I kept writing the &quot;issue notes&quot; and kept records of my work to cover my back; eventually had a narrative of the tear down and devastation in full detail, events very clearly depicted ( in retrospect clearly workplace bullying, and later a full mobbing thought I'd never heard of that at the time). I will tell the story - I want people to hear the truth. For the executive short version, I'll have a brief summary with a timeline depicting the whole thing in a nutshell. If I drop dead before I get to tell it, my husband will make sure it gets told -- he has copies, and he also works there.]]></description>
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        <dc:creator><![CDATA[tarabeatty]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Sun, 27 Feb 2011 08:13:49 -0800</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[This is true... happening to me now]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-3422911]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[I'm speaking from experience too and i agree completely. I planned to fully dig my heels in the ground, because I loved my job and was good at it, and I enjoyed plenty of high regards for years... And a wonderful working relationship with my supervisor (or so I thought) until she became threatened, and blindsided me for almost 2 years; never heard of this before but by the time i figured it out, it practically destroyed me. Now i have another job offer, and it's a great opportunity, but I'm not what I was 2 years ago after going through this. I hope people believe it because if/when it happens to you, no matter how good you are and how RIGHT you are, it seems the only way is to get out. After a few years, the amount of damage is devastating. And nobody understands until they've been there... because it just seems so unbelievable]]></description>
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        <dc:creator><![CDATA[tarabeatty]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Sun, 27 Feb 2011 07:23:58 -0800</pubDate>
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    <item>
        <title><![CDATA[Bullying by Owner &amp; Office Pet]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2504130]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[My sister worked for a company in Arizona called 95 and sunny and shared with me that the owners are the biggest setback of this company and are the cause of office gossip and horrible lack of respect for almost all of the employees except one which they also make clear to the other employees that she is their favorite. They give this one employee fancy vacations and pay raises that others don't receive. This warehouse employee runs around the office when the owner is gone and indicates to everyone that their job is on the line and that she herself made the recommendation to the owner that she should get rid of the other office employees and hire her daughter run the office single handed while she does the order pulling and shipping. This behavior was reported to the owner and she thought it was humorous and indicated that everyone is expendable. This is just one small example of some of the things I have heard coming from this business. This kind of behavior is extremely unprofessional and keeps employees from functioning at 100%. This should not be tolerated at any level.The moral in this company is very low due to the lack of respect for the employees which causes stress and a sense of hopelessness for all that work in this environment. The bad treatment of employees has also created a much higher than normal turn over rate and the loss of some very talented folks who were very sincere about the success of the company. In a couple of instances the owners would not tell and employee they were let go, they just kept telling them they didn't have any work for them at that time. There are also continuous snide and hurtful remarks made to employees on a daily basis by the owners and the owner?s pet employee.From a job security standpoint it is a very poor company to work for to say the least. The owners put no value at all in their employees and have a process that will demoralize the most competent worker to a point of depression. No matter how good of a job an employee does or how hard they work it is never good enough and this is the case with all employees that work for this company. Because this is a small company there really isn't much opportunity for advancement or growth. In all fairness however this company really does have some nice potential if the right folks with some people skills and business training could run it on a professional level without the childish antics.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2504130]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[sarahevans33@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Thu, 22 May 2008 13:01:29 -0700</pubDate>
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    <item>
        <title><![CDATA[Some steps to stopping workplace bullies]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2471061]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[Hi Toni,Thanks for bringing the subject up.Step one is to ?Wise Up.?  Label them as bullies.  It not only gives you legitimacy, it rallies your energy.  You?ll know what you?re up against and you?ll feel like you?re protecting and defending yourself as best you can.  Then you can decide the best tactics for you in that situation.  Sometimes you can win even against fairly relentless bullies, and sometimes not.  Step two is to ?Stand Up.?  While pushing back may cause problems, not pushing back (passivity) guarantees problems.  Bullies don?t take your lack of resistance as kindness or your taking the moral high ground.  Bullies take it as an invitation to go after you harder.Stay professional and look to catch the bullies with a ?smoking gun.?  Shine a light on the bullying.  Get a good lawyer and strategist.  Get allies.  Try to isolate the bully.If the bully is your manager, go up one or two steps with as much evidence as you can get on the loss of teamwork and productivity, and the cost of increased turnover and sick leave.  That way you?re testing the company.  Is it a place you want to work at?Disclosure: I consult and coach on bullying and the high cost of low attitudes in the workplace.  Check out my books, CDs and web site: http://www.BulliesBeGone.com.  Best wishes,Ben]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2471061]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[Ben@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:04:35 -0700</pubDate>
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    <item>
        <title><![CDATA[Some steps to stopping workplace bullies]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2471060]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[Hi Toni,Thanks for bringing the subject up.Step one is to ?Wise Up.?  Label them as bullies.  It not only gives you legitimacy, it rallies your energy.  You?ll know what you?re up against and you?ll feel like you?re protecting and defending yourself as best you can.  Then you can decide the best tactics for you in that situation.  Sometimes you can win even against fairly relentless bullies, and sometimes not.  Step two is to ?Stand Up.?  While pushing back may cause problems, not pushing back (passivity) guarantees problems.  Bullies don?t take your lack of resistance as kindness or your taking the moral high ground.  Bullies take it as an invitation to go after you harder.Stay professional and look to catch the bullies with a ?smoking gun.?  Shine a light on the bullying.  Get a good lawyer and strategist.  Get allies.  Try to isolate the bully.If the bully is your manager, go up one or two steps with as much evidence as you can get on the loss of teamwork and productivity, and the cost of increased turnover and sick leave.  That way you?re testing the company.  Is it a place you want to work at?Disclosure: I consult and coach on bullying and the high cost of low attitudes in the workplace.  Check out my books, CDs and web site: http://www.BulliesBeGone.com.  Best wishes,Ben]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2471060]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[Ben@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:04:34 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Some try physical intimidation, may even get violent]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2470677]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[Some office bullies try physical intimidation to cow a person into submission. A small percentage may even become violent at some point. Most workplaces have some kind of policy on violence, and it's better to look it up and not need it than otherwise. Pretty much, the advice is to call security when physically threatened and keep the names of anyone present as a witness. In this day and age, I think that it's also a good idea for both men and women to learn some kind of physical self defense -- since if someone actually does try to get violent, it's better to know how to defend yourself than to have to wait for security to appear on the scene.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2470677]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[A_dangerous_mind]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Mon, 07 Apr 2008 09:42:20 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[What about tenure and union complications?]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2469502]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[In an educational context, I've heard that it's difficult to get rid of someone that has tenure.I imagine some work places have such extended probationary periods because, once they hire somebody, they're stuck with him.Have any unions tried to implement an anti-jerk rule, revoking the tenure of people who make other workers miserable?]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2469502]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[n.smutz@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Sat, 05 Apr 2008 10:07:05 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[RE: Steps you should take to stop the office bully]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468892]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[What if the bully is the pet of someone higher up, like a VP. She even bullies him. HR has their hands so tied that I think they are afraid to do anything. The problem with this bully is she knows what she is doing and is valuable, even if production is lost from many other employees. In this case I see little that can be done, except leave. After that at least you can tell her off.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468892]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[Top.Gun]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:30:39 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Speaking from experience...]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468875]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[The poster who said &quot;prepare to leave&quot; is right on target. Prior to fighting your case, begin your job search or put a line out to the job market. Chances are the fight will mean you have to leave. Having dealt with workplace bullies in my career they usually have some degree of success at sabotaging credibility. They are remarkable survivors and sometimes tough to weed out, due to the lying and deceit. When you go to HR in all liklihood the company sees you as the problem for bringing it up. Best thing to do is prepare to leave, make your move to out the offender, and depending on the outcome you can leave if necessary.Bottom line is if a bully has specifically targeted you, this will likely mean you have to leave that company, or made an internal transfer to a division/work group that is isolated and protected from that bully.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468875]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[alund@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:18:48 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Very intelligent analysis]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468750]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[That's the most intelligent analysis I've ever read on the topic, and the most accurate. This is a topic that HR should give more attention, given the amount of workplace violence that this no doubt precipitates. I've been &quot;gaslighted,&quot;  I think everyone has at some point; and until you figure out what's going on, it's like being in a Twilight Zone Episode.  By the time you figure it out, it's generally too late to do anything about it.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468750]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[sevenof9fl]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:37:19 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[The Bully in my workplace was the Office Pet]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468726]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[She even had the Boss bullied.  Nobody could touch her no matter how asinine her ideas, amount of money she wasted, time she spent goofing off in her office, or intimidating other employees.  Either she knew where the office bodies were buried or the CEO was afraid to fire her, which is what should have happpened. I was her &quot;special&quot; target, but I fought back, which got me on the wrong side of the boss. I finally had to leave.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468726]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[sevenof9fl]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:20:12 -0700</pubDate>
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    <item>
        <title><![CDATA[It's a bit trickier than that.]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468493]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[Everything is a disability these days.HR can't just boot the bum, they have to offer him ways to resolve his 'issues' first.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468493]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[Locrian_Lyric]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:17:27 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Work Place Violence Policy]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468477]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[check your workplace violence policy first.. you might have to drag the SOB off company property before you kick his a$$]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468477]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[iM2501]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:12:44 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Defining it.]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468376]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[I like to say, &quot;He just likes yanking my chain.  Put me in my place from time to time.&quot;  Say that enough, and everyone will know what kind of jerk your dealing with without making a big deal of it.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468376]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[don.gulledge@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:49:00 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Never Start it - Always Finish it!]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468292]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[You should confront the bully.  If he/she doesn't back down, mention that a discussion in the parking lot after work is an option.  No matter what the outcome you should never be the bully or start confrontations...But you should always Finish Them!..ALWAYS.  Never be the but end of a bully. End it ASAP and on your own.  It is the only way to gain the respect - and maybe, even befreind the bully.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468292]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[richard.stroud@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Fri, 04 Apr 2008 02:57:36 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[RE: Steps you should take to stop the office bully]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468202]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[According to me you should face the person with the confidance and try to face him. Dont brake comunication with the other guyes in the office disscuss with them and try find out why he or she is doing this with you.If you find hte reason behind his behaviour then you can plan your mind in the same way.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468202]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[sarvesh4u@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:22:55 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[The first reply was more on-target]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468154]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[I hate to say it, but if you really want to stop it, first realize that you will have to leave.  Make it clear to the employer that you are leaving because of your being mistreated and their lack of professionalism in allowing it.  And by employer, I don't mean the boss who was the bully or allowed it to occur, or the HR department who really doesn't care.  Express it in a letter to the president or CEO, sent as, or after you have left, certified mail.  But get out.  Fast.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468154]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[macghee@...]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Thu, 03 Apr 2008 19:16:31 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Use the review system]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468143]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[If your company has a formalised review system then put down your complaints on the review form; it is usually a 2 way street &amp; HR HAVE to get a copy of both the reviewers and the reviewees forms. You can also request to have a witness present.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2468143]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[JustinF]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:10:57 -0700</pubDate>
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        <title><![CDATA[Yeah]]></title>
        <link><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2467854]]></link>
        <description><![CDATA[The last bully I ran into was the CEO of my former company..talk about what to do.The board of directors knew he was a jerk and bully as well.  They didn't care though..they didn't have to put up with it and he was making them money!  What can you do?  Go to HR and tell them your CEO is a dirt ball and then what?  They start an investigation or make note of your complaint?  And the CEO finds out it's you who complained.  Right..you might want to line up another job before you run to HR.  I'm normally not one to walk or run away from a problem but it was just easier for me to find another job close to home that pays more than to have to put up with that stuff.  I have a family to take care of.  I'll let my pride go for the sake of my family.  If I didn't have a choice then yeah, I guess I would have to stay and fight and hope it all come out ok.All this being said, I'd like to remind anyone in this position, which I was in at one time, that there just might be a reason for this situation you are in.  For me it ended up with a job that is in almost all aspects better than my previous job.We are all accountable in the end.  Keep this in mind when you set out for revenge by deflating someone's tires, etc.  That bully will get what's coming to him..but you shouldn't be the one to do it.]]></description>
        <guid><![CDATA[http://www.techrepublic.com/forum/discussions/102-259596-2467854]]></guid>
        <dc:creator><![CDATA[bdskp]]></dc:creator>
        <pubDate>Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:06:22 -0700</pubDate>
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