Dogbert Technical Support:
Dogbert (on the phone with a customer): Try turning off your router, your modem, and your computer. Now, turn off your air conditioning, your lights, and your water heater. Unplug your microwave, and defrost your refridgerator.
Dilbert (coffee mug in hand, looking on): You're very thorough.
Dogbert (still on the phone):Cancel your garbage service, renounce your citizenship, and yank out your phone.

Dogbert is my hero!