Rules for Project Managers

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, only the promise is remembered

Activity is not achievement.

If you don't know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.

Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of estimating the project costs

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project takes only twice as long

To estimate the time it takes to do a project, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, then change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. Thus we allocate two months for a one day project.

The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most probably is the only one with a clue how to do the job.

To estimate a project, estimate how long it would take one person to do it then multiply that by the number of people on the project

The first 90% of the project takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of the project takes the other 90%. So? After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays, add two more weeks for the unexpected, unexpected delays.

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.

When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule

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Excuses for Not Planning

Our customers really love us, so they don't care if our products are a little late and don't always work the first time.

Organizing to manage projects isn't compatible with our culture and the last thing we need around this place is change.

All of our projects are easy so there is no need to plan.

We aren't smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses.

We might have to understand our customers' requirements, document a lot of stuff and that is such a bother.

Our bosses won't provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic.