Discussion on:

10 office gaffes to avoid

As Jimmy Carr said:

"I never offer my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus, I'd rather see a pregnant woman suffer than a fat woman cry...."

You are an a$$

Jimmy Carr is a comedian.

Sometimes comedians employ shock value to get a reaction from you.

I wouldn't take it seriously though.

James

"You don't sweat much for a fat girl"

If you are a guy and the lady is standing...get your a$$ up and let her sit, not because of pregnancy or anything other than the fact that you should be polite.

Where do you get justification for your definition of "polite"?

Because that's what you're supposed to do. Who raised you?

EMD

What an idiot.

Who I was raised by doesn't come into it.

Although I'm of a generation that was taught the archaic and misogynist subset of Arthurian Chivalry that you still obviously follow, I am now an adult and in the position to make my own decisions and the viewpoint that I have adopted for many years is that women are people.

No better. No worse. No different.

I will give up my seat to any man or woman who requires that seat more than I.

No other reason.

Neil

Consideration for women is no more important than consideration for men, and anyone who argues otherwise is a sexist dinosaur. You might want to step aside from your little power trip and try and view women as fellow members of the Human Race.

You made my point to a tee.

You have no point, other than that of a misogynist dinosaur.

I was brought up to have good manners and to respect others. I open doors for other people, stand up when introduced to people, offer my seat on a full bus to people who need the seat more than me, offer to help carry heavy bags for those people weaker than me.

The key word is "people". That's MY point.

Would I offer my train or bus seat to a thirty year old woman who did not appear to be pregnant or in ill health? No. Why should I? Because she's wearing four-inch heels?

I do all that you do and more. I don't know how you misunderstood what I originally said but you obviously need to improve on your personality skills.

I hope things go better for you.

EMD

I've always said that things like being offered a seat should be on the basis of need not the sex they happened to be born. I have had men offer me a seat and have always said that "I am fine standing but thank you for the offer". I believe it's the same as holding doors open, offering to help someone carry a load, etc - I hold the door for someone behind me because it's bad manners to let it shut in their face not because of their sex, and I'll offer to help carry a load for anyone who appears to be struggling to manage it - again not based on their sex. If I'm struggling to carry something I would hope for an offer of help on that basis and not because I'm female. Thankfully the staff where I work are great like that, if they see me carrying a pile of equipment and I look like I'm managing they'll just offer to hold any doors in the path open to make it easier, if I'm trying to move one of the servers down a flight of stairs I can usually bank on getting offered a hand.

you want equality, well here it is baby.

I once had a boss that called everyone 'Bub'. We all knew it was because he could not remember our names. One of my co-workers at the time was doing an impromptu skit of the boss calling everyone else 'Bub'. It was funny because it was true. Unfortunately he had his back to the door when the boss walked by and saw the skit. From then on, the boss knew one name for sure. Luckily he had a sense of humor and took it in stride, but he never forgot the name of the comedian.

A good way to get on my nerves is not replying to messages. If I leave a message, phone me back when you can.

I've found that the VM of a departed (the firm, not the Earth...even my tactlessness goes so far) employee is a great place to which you can refer unsolicited sales/marketing calls.

"We'd like to update our information on your firm in our records"

"Hi, I'm sitting here with John, a veritable Swiss-Army knife of programming skills. He just came off...."

"Are you interested in our latest technology; WowTheSocksOff v2?"

Um, yeah, you need to speak with Ed Munster, over at extension 1313, let me transfer you over there now.

I have a hyphenated last name. Have had for a long time. You cannot believe the number of clever ways I have seen my name mangled. Especially when someone attempts to formalize the name: Mrs Name1? Ms. Name2?

I am most impressed if someone checks with me about the proper way to say my name. I am especially revengeful when someone decides to just drop one name or the other.

I'm with you cupcake. I have an unusual spelling of my first name and my last name is not hyphenated, but it is three separate words separated by spaces.

This tends to make me pay closer attention. when I meet a "Susan" I'll ask whether she prefers "Susan" or "Sue" and I work with a one-B "Debie"

Co-workers who repeatedly spell my name wrong drop on my priority list for any response.

I make darn certain I verify names before sending anything off, and I ask confirmation before using a name outloud.

I was once at an AF promotion ceremony where the promotee's first name was Jesus. The officer reading the commencement didn't care enough to pronounce it correctly and even made some stupid comment about 'that's how we say it in Kentucky'.

I don't think he was an officer much longer.

You know it's bad when your manager orders you a new corporate name tag and can't spell your name right five consecutive times. Doesn't give you much confidence in his other abilities...

Spelling my name correctly is a huge pet peeve. I'd worked with someone for 8 years, and she still couldn't spell my name correctly. I told her that it was spelled with an "e" not an "i", and her response was, "You spell it wrong because spell check changes it to an i." I informed her that I was born long before Microsoft was a glimmer in Bill Gates' eyes, so Microsoft's spell check was wrong.

She continued to spell it wrong, so I started replying to all of her emails with my signature with a capital "E", bolded, and in font twice as big. When that didnt't work, I started spelling her name as "Janit" instead of "Janet", and always changed all e's to an i and all i's to an e in all the words in any emails.

She got huffy and told me that her name was NOT spelled with an i and to please get it right. I told her that mine wasn't spelled with an i either, and that when she got my name right, I'd get hers right.

By this time, it ended up being a huge joke. She was widely known as being less than intelligent and quit soon after.

I named my daughter "Kinsey" before the McKenzie craze started. People will frequently call her McKenzie thinking we are using a nickname. The first time she will politely correct you and explain it is K-I-N-S-E-Y not "Kenzie" but if you persist she will call you McJames or McDonna or McAllie. People pay attention when it is THEIR name that is being mangled.

The NCOIC of our orderly room at one assignment always pronounced my last name as "nelson" instead of Nielsen. Sgt Jones became Sgt "Jons" until he learned. He also had to retype several performance reports that I (or my supervisor) refused to sign because he didn't spell my last name correctly. And this was before computers.

I did that with my hyphenated name, when people would drop the first half of the name and call me "Ms. Smith" (instead of Jones-Smith), I would drop half of their names. This worked particularly well with my son's elementary principal, Mr. Montenegro... it would really get everyone's attention when I would call him "Mr. Negro"! (BTW, he was Hispanic not black, and it was pronounced 'Mon tay nee egg row'and I was say it 'Mr. Nee-egg-row'...

And with names, my son's name is Streeter and you wouldn't believe the number of people who replace his name with "Steven'. I am always like, 'huh'? It doesn't even sound close. He does the same thing your daughter did... he politely corrects them once, then simply changes their name when they don't get it right. Mark becomes Mike, Joe becomes John.

You are so right... when its their name, its a much bigger deal.

To borrow from Dave Barry:
NEVER assume that a woman is pregnant unless you are actually seeing a baby come out her at that moment.

For instance, if you can't tell a boss that he is a bone head and that the sky is not green, do you really want to work with this idiot until you get a gold watch?

I understand forgetting about a dated answer, but after I tell the person about it and it's still there next time.... Write-off Time!

I think it's a little rude when you tell someone what your name is for the first time and they immediately decide to give you a nickname. Maybe Natalie doesn't want to be called "Nat" or Patricia doesn't want to be called "Trisha." Just because you might be too lazy to pronounce the entire name doesn't mean it's ok to just start making up your own..

We liked the name Gabrielle - maybe would go for "Brie" for short. But knew "Gabby" was most likely and discarded it.

My husband is "James" and when telemarketers call for "Jim" I know something is up.

This one is so obvious that it probably does not need to be included in the list. Do not make reference to a person's race, religion, ethnic background or sexual preference unless the person brings it up, and even the be very careful.

I once worked with a manager that left her away notification on for six months, intentionally. The problem was that she was invited to 9 or 10 hours of meetings every day and couldn't get any work done. Her solution was elegant.

If parents weren't playing the game of making their kids name so special, so they're "an individual", and will stand out, we could pronounce their names. Here's an example for you non-baseball types: Chone Figgins.

EMD

Don't assume that because someone is a "certain age" they are automatically married. One of my personal irritants is people who ask for Mrs..... because the information they have indicates I'm over 40 which means I must obviously be married. I have no problem with Miss or Ms or even missing the title completely but when when someone asks to speak to Mrs I'll almost always tell them there's no-one there of that name.

Get the title right. Some people don't care if you remember they are Dr. Smith or not. SOME DO!!!! Much better to hear "You don't have to call me doctor" than "ITS DR. SMITH!"

"If you don't see the babies head, don't ask if she is pregnant."

My bio is still on the web page of the company I left in 2007. What can I say, the new web master doesn't have my skills. I would have zapped him the day after he left.

I work in healthcare with many doctors. Some can be especially touchy about their title. Although on a first name basis with most, I usually refer to them a "Dr. Hancock (e.g.) instead of "John." Same goes for C-suite execs. Sure, others might play the power game of "we're on a first name basis", but setting an example for new or younger employees is more important to me.

I will normally leave my out of office message active for a few days after I return from my time off. This tells people who are calling during those few days that I might be overloaded with work and might not be able to get back to them right away.