Discussion on:

Your boss could be a sociopath. No, really.

Many of them learn to fake an emotional response because they feel it is expected. They are usually very self-conscious and will go to great lengths for personal gain. I have often noticed a disturbing trend in the type of people who are drawn to management. You have the over controlling type who is really a sadist with an unquenchable desire to dominate others. Then you have the sociopath who may also enjoy the suffering of others. They both are encouraged by the position they hold. If they can make someone fear them and have no problems firing someone or forcing them to quit they may look like a good manager. Then you have the yee-haw manager who pretends to be your friend and wants to run the place like it's his baseball team. Secretly he has no respect for his employees at all and his humorous criticism of his subordinates is far from friendly.

I would like to know if a true sociopath would know how they differ from those around them? Does their lack of connection with others lead to an assumption that everyone is just like them deep down?

I would like to know that myself.

"Many of them fake an emotional response because they feel it is expected." That describes a lot of my social interaction.

and I'm not sure what, if anything, they do for such things. I do feel like this sort of social interaction is dishonest. What is the point of expressing if you don't have a connection with what you expressed? It seems purely manipulative in nature. I like to think that people should be able to be honest with eachother and still get along. Otherwise life is some strange fantasy world like a play or a movie. It's not real.

and we are merely players.
Well, that's the way it is for some. People who are truly themselves are deemed as weak and taken advantage of by the sociopathic managers and coworkers. Then they must learn the mechanisms to survive in a harsh environment. My boss fits the definition in this article to a T.

"Each another's audience outside the gilded cage"! RUSH!! RUSH!! Oh, sorry, I could n't help myself. So, what were we talking about" Sociopaths you say? ... Me? ... WHAT??

Shakespeare, Shakespeare, Shakespeare - Yes Rush used it in a song but really?

Having been formerly married to a sociopath, I feel that I have a fairly good perspective on the issue. Being a sociopath does not mean you're not intelligent and growing up they do realize the expectations of those around them to conform to emotional norms. This means faking it and, most wish that they really did have the same feelings as everyone else. By and large I believe that they are aware of their shortcomings but are unable to change. This sometimes leads them to be angry and out of touch, in general a menace to themselves and others. And yes, they often experience an unreal disconnect with reality and the world at large. A therapist told me that there is a small amount of help to be had in the form of medication and a therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but most don't bother. But, why should they as long as they are functioning in seeming normalacy? A sad situation, really, especially for those of us who have loved them.

If true, many of us must be psychopaths of the highest order.

I think the article was about SOCIOpaths, seanferd; you (as you said) 'psychopaths' are a slightly different breed..........

If Chip ⊆ sociopaths,
then I ⊆ complete psycopaths.

(According to the operant diagnostic "Many of them fake an emotional response because they feel it is expected." That describes a lot of my social interaction.)

Meaning, I think Chip is not a sociopath. Possibly not even registering anywhere on the antisocial spectrum. From this single observation, it is just as likely that Chip lies somewhere on an Asperger's/autism spectrum. Or, he doesn't rate very high on any personality disorder spectrum, but just can't get excited about the kinds of crap that a significant fraction of of people do (because it isn't truly noteworthy or it is boring or tedious but people like to get themselves all worked up over it for whatever reasons).

I try to conduct myself as honestly as I can, but it doesn't come naturally.

Wait...

Perhaps the most perceptive assessment I've seen in awhile.

Actually they are the same thing - psychopaths is simply the older classification, they are now called sociopaths by psychiatrists etc. Not sure what the distinction is between sociopaths, antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. Maybe it is simply one of degree of evilness. They can all have devastating effects on people!

Not strictly true. The concensus seems to be that psychopathy is an innate part of someone's mental makeup and that a sociopath tends to be a product of some environmental phenomena that may have even caused physiological changes in that person. Antisocial personality disorder is a clinical term that may be used to describe both.

Your empathy for others feelings guide your responses.

A sociopath only gives the right responses when there is something to gain from it. Remember the adage: "someone who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person".

I think most managers are sociopaths, because people are rewarded for giving those kinds of responses to the right people.

It's an evil world. A truly evil world. All you have to do is look around you to see how evil wins every day.

Those who claim to see God in the works are deluding themselves. History and experience tell you otherwise.

Such cynicism does not please me. I would like to think that people AT LEAST try to make a better world for their children and grandchildren. But, in reality, evil people don't give a damn about them either. If they did, would they be working every day to turn this world into a toilet just for their temporary profit?

That's why you find so many old folk who are happy to be the age that they are. They welcome death to the alternative of living in a world that gets worse by the hour.

Are you the model for SNL's Debbie Downer?
Wow. Look around. There's a lot of good mixed in with the bad.

I was ready to go curl up and die...not really but, it is sad that there are so many who think this way. I've had a lot of crap things happen to me BUT, the good so outshines the bad because I CHOOSE to focus on those things that uplift and sustain me.

Please read the book: "The Seven Habits of Effective People"
Trust me it will help you deal with it all. You can't change the world but you can live in it a bit more comfortable.

It's true, the world is an evil place... Jesus said so...Satan (Satan's motive= Kill...Steal...Destroy...)comes 1st to the world, then Jesus... if he (Jesus) didn't... nothing would be left alive.. Put down the tech manual and pick up your bibles. As far as how bad things are going to get... you ain't seen nothing yet...

You know - I saw the face of Satan in my cornflakes this morning. Do you think it means anything?

Also, I'm pretty sure the rapture happened last night around 3:32 a.m. I know this because this morning - I noticed that my cream cheese bagel was missing.

Oh Gawd help us. There's always one.

While sociopaths might not care about you or me, they do care about themselves. And, highly functioning individuals don't want to go to jail. Sometimes that is motivation enough to control criminal behavior, sometimes not. Just don't get caught alone in an alley. ; ~ )

..and Oracle bought Java...thats gotta be one of the seven signs right there!

Christians have believed that the "end time" was soon to be here for the last 2,000 years. And I can't help think of all the awful things that have been done in the name of God. The belief of each Christian sect that everybody else is going to Hell I find offensive. Jesus preached peace and love.

You can focus on the negatives in life (like the news) or you can realize that the people you describe as evil are a minority and most people are in fact trying to be good.
I was raised with the belief that people are basically good and that kindness can be spread as easily as evil...it's a choice everyone must make.

I agree, people and animals sense psychopaths and moral people. I've managed to stand up to one or two psychopaths in the workplace in my time, but then they often help me do this by their own arrogance. They end up cutting their own throats. Mind you though it can be a truly draining experience. Bit analogous to an exorcism.

Conversely people feel if someone is genuine. Perversely I am repeatedly asked to return to work as a manager or become a manager. I'm more interested in solving technical problems and assisting people with problems than management. But staff and management want people like that and not like psychopaths. I think there are good people out there. The trick is to find them and avoid the sociopaths, or if you encounter one to get them out of your life asap.

It's doubtful they were true pstchopaths. Stand up to them and they are likely to take you out the back and slit your throat. No remorse or regret.

Only the deaf and blind cannot see the world for what it is.

There is always something to be gained by giving the right responses. Someone is always watching (or listening). The waiter may turn out to be the next Governor of your state. Your direct report might win the lottery tomorrow. At the very least, Jesus can hear you.

I see the point you make about going with the flow and giving the right responses. But it eventually leads to sociapathy. People will eventual see through the lies and innuendo that they portray to others and see them as manipulative aand unreliable. People in position of authority who abuse their power to their own ends can be cruel sometimes and even get away with it because the system they work in isolates their actions. Protecting them from redress.
One should also consider that corporation are by definition sociopathic. They say and do what will return the highest profits to the shareholder. The executives that get ahead are rewarded for their strategies that mimick this thinking and therefore the sociopathic mind can lead to a promotion, greater earnings, higher position and all those perks for weilding the corporate sword.

However, I would like to think that not all people subscribe to this strategy in real life, and that corporate mission statements lessen the impact of shareholder greed on the average working men and women.

If you do have emotional responses, but don't use them since they aren't the same emotional responses as others have, if you find another method of dealing with problems other than responding emotionally, as in, don't cry about it, deal with it... well there is a lot of immaturity to deal with, so, you may be practicing restraint in a subtle way, not psycho. Just sayin'

It probably varies with the individual like anything else. Some certainly know exactly what they are, regardless as to whether or not they know of the clinical description of what they are. Those who are, say, a bit dim or narcissistic, are less likely to be self-aware in this fashion.

We know.

In a general sense, sociopaths don't realize that they're sociopathic because they believe that what they're experiencing (emulated emotion, etc) is "normal". It's not entire impossible for a sociopath to come to the realization that s/he has sociopathy, but it is very unlikely. Most sociopaths are dominant people (or "Alpha personalities" if you wish). It is very difficult to get these people to understand that the way they see things isn't accurate. Also, if you do manage to find someone, like myself, who has come to the realization that they show signs of being a sociopath, it is very difficult to change the way that person thinks, feels, reacts, etc to social encounters.

While of limited use, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been known to be useful in reformating the perspectives of people wanting to change. Wanting being the operative word here. Good luck and I am impressed with your perceptions.

I just quit a job with a true sociopath for a boss. Underneath it all, she truly believes that she is better than everyone else. Firing and abusing people was her way of proving to everyone else that she was superior. She spoke on multiple occasions about how some people were just meant to be underlings and she was meant to be one who controls them. It's very creepy to see someone in a position of power who says things like that and you know she believes it to her core.

Sounds like you had the same boss as I did!

The sociopath is blameless in their view of themselves, their egoes are huge and they see themselves as superior to most. "If only so and so performed as expected none of this would have happened." The sociopath will go to great lengths to prove themself "right". They are very convincing and will often gain the support of upper management or those in authority because of their impeccable acting ability. But the bottom line is that everything they do has a motive and if you have nothing they can use (or they've already taken what they could use) for their own self promotion, then you are useless. No empathy, remorse, or second thought is involved because the sociopath or any of the Anti social/Borderline personality disorders are capable of such thought.

Ted Bundy was an extreme example of a socipath and very successful at it for a long time before he was caught and even then many of those in authority doubted he could have done what he was accused of until he became desperate and sloppyand was caught almost red handed (no pun intended). I believe he was working for a senator or congressman towards the end of his "career". The world is full of people suffering from these types of disorders. Although not necessarily to the degree of T.B., they can do a great deal of damage without having to resort to such extremes.
The difference between a sociopath and a psychopath is that the sociopath needs approval of others and needs others to "see" how superior they are. A psychopath doesn't. In fact, a psychopath may want the disapproval of others in order to feel and show power over everyone else when they do act.

Your first paragraph hit the nail on the head. The boss that laid me off, was just like that. I was the only IT pro that lasted 4.5 years. Since last July 2010 my old boss went through 3 IT pro's. That company should know better by now. I even offered if they took her out of the IT dept., that I would consider returning, but NOT under her control. Hasn't happened yet; oh well!

"Does their lack of connection with others lead to an assumption that everyone is just like them deep down?" That's exactly one of the common symptoms as described by Martha Stout, whose book seems well-backed up by research.

Sociopaths apparently often think that the rest of us are faking (or at best, deluded into) those 'feelings' they don't share with us.

Physical research indicates that they do and probably have to use different parts of their brains than we do to process decisions that (for us) involve an empathetic reaction. Their brains respond in a way more typical (for us) of solving an algebra problem.

They often grow up with a feeling that they are different from other people in some way. They can't do intimacy, but they see others doing it. Like everyone else they do the best they can with their talents. People who can't do intimacy have trouble influencing people in an upfront way, so they calculate and manipulate people. An academic study of financiers in the City of London a few years ago found that there were a lot of people working there that were as sociopathic (well technically psychopathic - they used the Hare psychopathy checklist) as the inhabitants of Broadmoor maximum security hospital. The difference is that the Broadmoor patients had convictions for violence and the financiers did not. But I hate to think of the emotional violence they do to their colleagues.

Everyone should read the books by Dr Robert Hare called "Snakes in Suits" and "Without Conscience". In fact I would go so far as to say they should be mandatory reading in highschool.

It sounds just like Obama ...

I have to say, there's probably many admins that are sociopaths as well.

Admins being sociopaths? No way!!!! XD

EDIT: No, no. I just realized: We just don't care to hear it, or discuss it.

My boss is a genuinely decent and empathetic person. I've watched her do a number of things for people that didn't benefit her at all, but benefited them greatly, stick her neck out for subordinates (including me) to her boss, and generally behave with decency, integrity and honor. The world would be a FAR better place if there were more like her in positions of authority, especially since she's not just a good person, but a very effective manager besides.