Employees may need to grow up, but real-world practice shows that treating such a person sharply with harsh expressions of expectations and contempt for their behavior does not produce the desired growth. In fact it produces the opposite and undermines whatever growth may have been occuring. It reinforces the belief the person may have that they are unequal to the demands of their life. They may simply not have been taught the skills for dealing appropriately with criticism, and you have a chance to model that for them by teaching them that it is not a catastrophe that alienates them from the powerful people in their lives but simply a normal everyday event that can be overcome with a little effort. People who are afraid to make the effort are people who have been taught that they can only fail further no matter what they do because they are intrinsically flawed, so they avoid or deny to escape the pain of facing that.
A certain gentle firmness combined with an empathy that is rooted in simple respect for the human being gets the best results, whether you are dealing with employees, friends, customers, or children.
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