Controlling or Nurturing parent as your starter, the only acceptable response is child.
It's sorry I won't do it again, or sorry I'll try to do better.

Any other and you have an immediate communication failure.
React to the lack of expected response and it will just get worse, child to child probably.
So one minute you are discussing why a bug got passed all your checks, the next whether each other spots are due to lack of hygiene.

The mere fact that you go in to this as controlling (worse still nurturing iun some respects) is saying grow up, stop being a baby, start being an adult.
You wouldn't go in and say that out loud and expect a constructive outcome would you.
If you want an adult response, you need to kick things off with an adult statement.

What did we do wrong here is a good starter....