Discussion on:

Most despised corporate buzzwords

In a previous life as an engineer, we had an expression of, "promoted to his full level of incompetency" to describe workers who were moved up-wards and sideways in the manner as described by tony

I had a boss who was always telling us we needed to be proactive, but god help you if you were, and didn't get his permission first.

One of my favorite sayings from my military days is "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission." Believe me, I used that one on many an unsuspecting commander.

NT

How many people who regard themselves as up and comers do you hear using the word reinvent.

Another trendy expression used by up and comers (mostly female) love to invite you on a journey. Not a dirty weekend journey unfortunately. What they mean is that they want you to listen while they recount an experience they regard as very relevant.

Management telling you not to "reinvent the wheel" instead of re-writing out-of-date code.

This particular one is especially irritating: "We're experiencing some challenges..."

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I feel I am going to blow a gasket next time someone thinks I need to be challenged more, or think of that problem as a challenge
This buzz word is going to get someone buzzed on day alright!
I think is today's most overused buss word by Managers.

nt

this one has been annyoing for some time, and definitely lost its luster around the time of the Lehman Bros going belly up.

...right let's leverage technologies to create powerful solutions.

Any engineer worth their salt should cringe when a business person mentions "real-time" processing. They probably mean "on-line" or "synchroneous". Very few corporations have any requirement that is even remotely close to needing to build a real-time computing environment.

"Real-time" is frequently used as the opposite of "batch processing" (e.g., once a day), and is not meant in the same sense a real-time OS.

But I don't know what you actual cringeworthy experience of the term's usage is, so you may mean something different.

...because someone who is clueless about the origins of a term has heard it, thought it sounded cool, wrongly assumed that they could understand its meaning, and applied it to another context where a perfectly adequate term already exists. That's how many buzzwords are created, and also explains how this kind can easily become despised.

Had a department head who thought "getting out of your comfort zone" was a good idea. My guess was he had not read the rest of the page on which that idea was suggested--and that the page was recommending it for situations where there was consensus on the need for action in that area. He'd assign someone a task different from the person's experience and expertise, saying the person need to get out of his comfort zone.

We used to call that, "cross training", and it was done so each employee would have a backup with the minimal necessary skills. You get much better results if you tell people exactly why you want them to learn a task outside what they normally do, not a sugar-coated load of toro caca.

...or how to instill years of training and experience in two weeks.

And working with computers the reason for the name becomes clear pretty fast

Interesting - I would imagine that most people would be way out of their comfort zone walking around naked all day at work.

At work they love to say things like "who is going to Own ". My thought is usually "Can **I** make money on it? No? Then I don't want to Own it".

Yeah, I can barely sense it. I know it is my responsibility, but I have no authority over it.

This is defintely one I hear too.

maybe and ounce of "give a damn" would suffice.

"Synergy" happens to be a useful word and has been around for quite some time. It sounds a little more concise than "have the ability to work together," and less "buzzwordy" than "interoperate." "Outside the box" is getting a little old, so I guess we could return to "creative." Ultimately, the only standout to me in this list is "loop me in"; is it some kind of a combination of "count me in" and "keep me in the loop"? How about "keep me informed" or "keep me updated"? They work just fine. However, I don't think we're seen the worst, since texting hasn't yet permeated the upper echelons of corporate culture; otherwise we'd already be seeing things like... well, maybe we shouldn't even go there. And, as another poster mentioned, "take ownership" is a classic. How can one "own" something at work? When you leave, it's still there. I guess "responsibility" contains too many syllables.

When I first heard this, I thought it was time for lunch. But, it wasn't in the proper context. It took me awhile to figure out that they wanted to think about it.

I say, "Use your Noodle" to my children. I do not even know where I picked that saying up from.

I guess you'd maybe 'reach out' to someone if you were drowning, but I prefer to call them, or have a quick word ...

I hear "Deep Dive" at my company all the time; for some reason it drives me crazy.

surely thats a spelling msitake?

...and I'll see when I have the bandwidth (spelled correctly :)) to meet with you." Drives me nuts!! [I need a little "pulling my hair out" smiley here... heh] None of the responses to that statement that jump into my head are ever appropriate to actually speak.

who types "ping" in the chat window when he wants to talk to me. I respond with a ttl based on how busy I currently am. Works for us, but I can't think of another situation in which I'd like to see it.

With what? Hydrochloric Acid?

We do not sell "solutions". We sell services. We sell products.

I was recently at a trade show where many of the vendors had the word "solution" plastered all over their booths as if it meant something. When I asked one what they actually did or provided, they blathered on about solutions. "Is this hardware or software?" "Well, it's a solution for...." "So you're a consultancy?" "No. We provide solutions for...." "So what is your product?" "As I said, we provide solutions for...." Five minutes to finally find out they were third-party providers for a particular hardware vendor. They would come in to your firm, "analyze" your needs, then try to sell you the manufacturer's product whether it fit your needs or not.

Oddly enough, it was not the "solution" I was looking for.

"We don't build houses, we build homes!", delivered in a four-year-old's voice.

...if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

If you're not part of the solution you need a different solvent?

you're part of the precipitate.