Discussion on:

How do you feel about holiday gift-giving in the office?

I am so against the principle of office gift giving that I dislike the team lunch idea as well.

In spite of the fact that as being part of a team all concerned are in fact employed, many people are scraping by -- there could medical issues, personal debt, or other issues that co-workers are unaware that makes "a gift of $25-30" a bit hard to manage.

Many such gifts are impractical to receive or useless: if I own an iPod/iPhone, I probably have accessories already; do I really need another speaker to play my tunes out loud? And you raised a very good point about men living under the fear of a lawsuit should they choose the wrong words when speaking to a woman colleague - I can't think of many gifts that couldn't be taken as a double-entendre if someone *really* wanted to make a stink.

As for Team Lunches, while the idea is nice, it's often hard to actually socialize within the team -- you sit and chat with the people next to you/across from you, and that's all. Most times you're eating and then heading back to work -- was it really a productive 'team building' or 'appreciation'?

On the other hand, as I started a new position in October, I initially declined to partake in the gift-exchange, I've since given-in to the idea of making nice with the new team.

So I am not only a Scrooge in some people's eyes, but I am also a hypocrite.

Maybe my feelings stem from the fact that I'm a consultant? I'm paid to work, not to socialize or assimilate with the "feel good" office activities. Sure, I make friends at work, but the holidays tend to bring out the worst in office pressure politics. I don't join the potlucks (my dietary choices tend to limit that, anyhow) and I really would rather just get my work done than engage in (often false) holiday frivolity.

Bah humbug it is!

I've bought the team lunch on at Christmas a few times, and I would certainly rather do that than hand out something chinzy.

One of my "ackward" moments a few years back was when a seriously underperforming contractor bought me a nice bottle of wine as a Christmas gift.

As for exchanges, it might be nice in a small office, in a larger one well, not so much.

I'm with you, Tony. The gifts are generally useless (unless they are edible). I've even seen a vicious gift presented to its recipient, who was not a popular guy. -- Small team lunches are the way to go, and give the group time off in the afternoon.

For one thing it creates problems... the people who complain about the thermostat all-year-round will also complain about the gift they receive not being as good as somebody else's, the give they gave being more expensive than the one they received, etc.

For another, if you work in an office where a large portion of employees don't celebrate christmas, it can be an uncomfortable conversation. "Say, I've got you in the christmas gift exchange!" "Oh, well, I don't celebrate Christmas." It's a fun, uncomfortable way to pass the time during this awkwardly busy yet unproductive season.

If you have a real friend at work and you want to give them a gift do so after hours, maybe over dinner, rather than at work.

We just do a pot-luck lunch with the managers providing the meats. Yes, some people don't bring anything, but to be honest those are the people that I wouldn't want to eat anything they made, anyway. As for gifts, we do either a white elephant or a DVD swap. We decided to stop the DVD swap because of the expense.

We have a fruitcake that is on its 5th year in the white elephant. We're a department of less than 20 people, so it's fun and works out quite well

We have had a Christmas White Elephant potluck for probably 15 years now. It's so popular that we have retirees who return for it every year. Ours was last Friday and 3 retirees (1 admin, 1 manager and 1 Director) and our security consultant showed up as well as our co-workers. We have a number of horrible, funny gifts that reappear year after year. Beware the gift that is wrapped beautifully - it often hides one of the more awful gifts. There is stealing involved and everyone looks forward to it and plots what they will bring. One year when we had a new deptartment it was also a great way to have fun and get to know folks especially since they were located on another floor in our building.

My brothers & I found a candle one year that looked like a semi-fresh cow patty and smelled like fresh cut hay in a large specialty candle store. There had been some inside family joke about cow patties but it's been so long ago I can't remember what it was about. So we bought it for our dad as a gag gift.
Where he worked they had the white elephant exchange at Christmas time and the very next Christmas he asked us if it would be okay for him to take that candle. That candle was a hit! I know it was still making it to the Christmas party even after my Dad retired 10 - 12 yrs later.

We've done the white elephant exchange before and that can definitely be fun if the group has the right dynamic. My group has changed, and stress level is higher now, so I don't think I would vote for that now. This year we did Adopt a Family, and got together over lunch to help wrap the gifts. It was optional, fun, not personal, generous and festive all at once.

I hate shopping in the first place. It's worse when shopping for a co-worker you may barely know. It's far worse when shopping knowing the present will go into a random pile and be chosen by a drawing. I hate the whole exercise, including the so-called 'Chinese auction' of letting later selectors take presents from earlier ones.

We often receive gift cards in December, but they're usually distributed by the department managers without ceremony.

As to free turkeys, I once worked in a plant where they did it right. The plant management would announce the date of the 'Turkey Catch'. Employees would talk about the snares and traps we would use to catch our free bird. Come the big day, the fenced parking lot would be evacuated, an 18-wheeler would roll in, and the gates would be closed. Employees would gather around the back of the truck, waiting for the unleashing. As the plant manager opened the trailer doors, veteran employees would shift to the BACK of the crowd, newer rookies would crush forward, and the manager tossed out the first ...

frozen turkey from the local grocery.

Like most of my friends, I didn't have a freezer big enough to store it until I could give it to someone, and many of us went to our parents for dinner, so we didn't want to cook it, or like me, they hate turkey, so we got our turkeys, and called a local respected place called "The Kitchen" who takes in homeless families, feeds them gives them training on job hunting, job skills, and gives them a hand up.

They came with a pickup truck and we started loading those in the bed. When others saw what we were doing, they started bringing their turkeys out as well. The kitchen was able to freeze a lot of them, and there was enough time to let the rest thaw to cook for their Christmas dinner. They also sent a whole bunch of thank you cards signed by the families that benefitted from the donation.

So, I never say no to the turkeys, because there's always a place that will appreciated it much more than I will.

Its the age old question... to give or not to give.

I have been long enough on the dark side (management that is...) to know that most people react well to a small token of apreciation when its given with actual and genuine apreciation. Your people knows right away if you are full of it. If you don't care about your people in the first place, a xmas gift, no matter how good it is will not change their perception of you.

A team lunch it's ok as long as you pick up the tab out of your own pocket. A small gift its ok too, just don't over do it. You have nothing to prove other than you care, and an expensive gift its not the way to go.

Oh!, and there is one more thing, and to me this is very important. Do not expect anything in return!... do not act as if you are expecting something in return! they break their backs everyday working for you, so that is more than enough gift.

Happy Holidays to all!

I personally would rather not give gifts to most of the folks I work with. Those that I consider work friends - we do lunch alone on occasion, take walks to clear our minds, vent to each other, etc., all of which is non-work related at least 2/3 of the time. We exchange gifts and they're usually personal since we know what each other likes from the amount of time we spend just talking about our REAL lives outside of our cubicles.

We had a contractor come in last year (who's since converted to employee status) who got us all to chip in on a present for the manager. Surprisingly she's not doing that this year...wonder why? Ha!

Admittedly, I made a gift for my manager a few years back of a nice knitted wrap - you know women and being cold all the time.... Mostly I did it so she'd stop lifting mine from my office. But she made noise about how she really shouldn't be accepting something like that from an employee and blahblahblah, plus she never uses the dang thing, so no more gifties for her. Oh and she don't use mine anymore either...I took it home and got moved to an office without a window. Surprise! Not cold anymore...

Back in the day I worked for a large Savings bank in NYC. Each November we recieved an envelope through inter-office mail (remember: I said 'back in the day' -- this was 25 years ago) containing a card to be filled out indicating where we wanted our turkey dinner to be delivered. Turkey, fixings, etc. came via UPS the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

The last work day before Christmas we were handed a frozen bird to take home. Quite a scene at the local subway stop, let me tell you!

Ah, the golden age of savings banks!

Walmart has pen drives.Your corporation can have Logo pen drives made for them.

Not good, for an organisation that has a 'No Pen Drives', rule, because we have enhanced security, (due to our client's rules).

BALTHOR was tossing out an idea. It may not fit all environments, including yours.

In fact 2 gig is really too small.
But what I would like to see,
right there under the tree.
One with 64 gig, what a ball.

I dont really like it. For example i just started working for a new company 2 months ago and dont know so many of the people, but yet they have no problem letting me know that they are taking up a collection for this person and that person. Why, we have a diferent job to do, no ones taking a collectin for me , haha. I wouldnt want them too. On the other hand if you have more than 1 supervisor, manager or boss and you buy for 1 you have to buy for the rest, thats going to get to expensive. I also agree about the previous comments i have read, yes most of the gift are useless, (i know its the though that counts) common have you ever gotten something and say, what am i gonna do with this..... Its to much pressure at work and surely some 1 will be offended or feel out of place for not giving, lets face it we all have diferent financial obligations and needs. Why cant we just have some time together at work without actually having to work and socialize abit since we have to be at work any way. Good employers cant realize this and give there staff a day to relax a bit lighten the work load or the day at least 1 day out of the year. Food and beverages that any of us can enjoy is a no loose situation for everyone. Happy Holidays to all take time to enjoy even if its for a short time

Unless they are done VERY well, with much forethought and attention, which from most co-workers is a virtual impossibility.

I would stick with the "white or red?", it's simple and hardly likely to offend.

I was given a xmas gift once when I was in my late 20's, from a manager at a charity head office. It was a mousemat with Lara Croft of tombraider fame on it... a little slim considering I'd been a 40hr week volunteer for over 6 months and many of them were paid, but OK I'm polite, right up to the point she laughed and said and I quote: "We weren't sure to get you one with a girl on it or..." and left it hanging in the air. We were standing in front of the entire staff at the time.

I guess having respect for your fellow co-workers and not hitting on any of them automatically makes you a homosexual, that didn't go down too well with me, I guess it never crossed their minds to consider the other probable reasons. I didn't go in the next day and mailed a letter saying I didn't feel I could work there anymore.

Everything that is forced on people is bad, even if it is meant as a nice gesture.

A work place is a work environment and not a social club. If you want to socialise, do it away from work.

Besides, these gifts are usually just a waste of money, not appreciated and cause more harm than good.

My wife once worked at a company that "donated" Christmas turkeys. Good workers should get a bonus instead. That specific company squeezed the workers but donated tens of millions towards a cancer center so that they could put their name on it. I call that bad business practice because it was customer's money in the first place. They should either return some money to their clients or share profits with the people who worked for it.

I don't think I have read your blog before, but the headline caught my eye and I thought it may make some interesting reading to see how some "men" can be so scrooge-like at Christmas; myself included in the past, when we had so many children we didn't know what to do...and I was broke. I think finances are an important factor. So many people cannot afford to buy themselves quite modest items, without having to pay out for presents for colleagues. It was refreshing therefore to see that you are a woman because so many of these initiatives have been driven by women in offices I have worked in in the past. If it was up to the men, I am sure there would be considerably less than the statistically 50% cheer that you may expect. Happy Christmas everyone from a now grandfather!

We have a Secret Santa gift regime in the office at Christmas. Everyone's name is written on a scrap of paper, then jumbled in a hat. Each person then removes a scrap at random, with the rule that they must put the scrap back if they pick themselves. The idea is you buy a gift (for no more then10GBP) for the person who's name you chose. It works pretty well apart from the blabber mouths who can't resist trying to find out who's bought what for whom.

It's a bit pointless if you ask me, but I don't mind it. I always try and buy someone something that I think they will like if I know them well enough, or something silly if I don't.

I find the office regime of having a Birthday card do the rounds every year, with everyone signing it and ticking off their name from a list. Now that grates. If I liked someone well enough, I'd buy them a birthday card myself.

I'm afraid I'm humbug on the Christmas card thing too. Writing out a Christmas card for every member of the firm? Forget it! I buy loads of cakes instead so everyone has something nice with their coffee break.

It's best to make Christmas into something that makes a positive difference without creating any awkward moments. This is simple by:
1. Collect toys for charity giving
2. Collect food items and contribute the local food bank
etc.

There are lots of charitable organizations trying to make Christmas better for poor families, children in need, the homeless and others. Get outside yourself and do something that makes a difference.

I have experienced almost the full gamut of 'clever' gift ideas. I can't say that I have enjoyed any of them. Most show a lack of respect for the workforce.

The mug with the company logo on does not make me feel ???loved??? or whatever it was supposed to. I gave it to a collector who values such things. (It???s the railway business, so it doesn???t have as many followers as a sports team or Star Trek, but just like them, almost anything to do with it is collectable.)

I understand that it is the company???s fiscal responsibility to get the most work out of me for the least money, and I respect that. A profitable company means secure (relatively) employment. I just don't like my intelligence to be insulted with cheap gestures that masquerade as altruism, or worse, affection.

If someone in the company who knows what work I have been doing wants to show appreciation, a simple ???thank you for doing x on project y??? is all I need. When a suit who patently doesn???t know what I do says ???thank you for all your good work??? I have to suppress the gag reflex and the temptation to ask ???really? What do you like about it????

So they can take the ersatz jollities and stuff the turkey with them.

I love Christmas! I don???t subscribe to a religion, or eat turkey, but I love the socialising and to give gifts to those I care about. I have even decorated my work area with tinsel (the only male in this office to do so) and I will give the traditional greetings at the appropriate time, because that is what it???s about.

I'll swap you for the Wenger portfolio with the company logo I just got that I'll never use.

Hmmm. There's an idea: A TechRepublic gift "exchange". We list our crappy office gifts and can swap them with others for something we could perhaps use

But exchanging frozen turkeys might be an issue

A corporate-logo mug, hat, pen, etc.... we lovingly refer to those as "Trash-and-Trinkets" around the office... I've got a box full of those things, which we (collectively as employees) will donate those out to our corporate yard-sales to raise money for charity each year. Sure, its nice to have a spare ink pen at your desk or a clean, unused coffee mug (frequently I give those to visiting client reps who need a cup of coffee or tea while on-site), but for the most part... "trash-and-trinkets" are a waste...

Discrete donations to charity or certain groups want to exchange outside the office, great.

Exchanging gifts is personal and should not be organized by management. Seems to be with the absence of Holiday bonus, companies want to prove they are human. Mandated or elected exchange managed by company rep. between employees not a chance.

The small office I work in on a permanent casual basis closes for 3 weeks over Christmas. We always have a Christmas lunch a day or two after closing. About half the staff live locally (including the boss), the rest of us live down the coast in a separate town (a 45 - 60 min drive). In spite of the offers by the boss and other local staff to drive down to our locality to have lunch we always end up with the longest trip.

And for the last two years we not only have to chip in for a gift for the boss, but we have a secret santa. This is followed by five weeks of no income (three for the shut down and two before we get paid again). I know it sounds like whinging, but these activities are generally fuelled by staff members who are married and have the benefit of double incomes. Unlike myself and some of the others who have to be careful and plan ahead for the holiday period.

We spend so much time at the office that there are many people who think this is their family. And being family, we have to endure a celebration of every holiday, birthday, and life event as a family. Personally I'd prefer a nice bonus and a day off, preferably the day of the office holiday party and gift exchange.

I dislike everything about Christmas in the US, but then again, I'm an atheist.

Well there is something that some Christians and an atheist have in common.

As an atheist, I don't dislike everything about Christmas. I hate what's hypocritical about Christmas. Mostly that's those people who scream to boycott stores where employees say, "Happy Holidays". Those folks loudly complain those stores are taking Christ out of the holiday, as if theirs was the only December celebration, and as if shopping should have any part of a religious observation in the first place. I hate the cultural demand of retail shopping, and the negative reaction from some when I disclose that I hold my participation to a minimum.

I like the lights, and the cookies too.

The only gift I really appreciated as an employee was a cash bonus. Any other gift was usually not of any use to me- except a frozen turkey, which when given, was presented at the end of the shift, so that there was no problem with keeping it frozen until arriving home.

When I was COO, our group was about 20, 15 of which worked in a billing-records office in a separate building, who we didn't see that oftenevery day. We hoste a dinner at the best restaurant in town for the whole group (no spouses or dates) with all able to choose any item from the menu, a cocktail at the start, and with all the wine desired during the meal. It was appreciated by all. (it had to be a "Winter" dinner, as we had two Jehovah's Witnesses on our staff, who would have been unable to attend a Christmas-titled celebration.)

Toni
I am with you on this .
To make a point I am a severe diabetic so what am i given the most of
candy- chocolates cookies and cake. Just a simple no frills lunch.
thanks

Sometimes I gave a gift to the whole office (a food tray for example) or I gave everyone in the office a gift, but I have always refused to "trade" gifts at the office. It seems so superficial and does not appeal to my sense of right and wrong and I said so.

Its the pure horror.
I (now retired) appreciated a common "dinner" with the department's people, and in the beginning the annual "End of Year" celebration of the company (although, in the later years, this became a nightmare too due to "overorganization" of sketches, performances, etc.).
But, when there started to be a habit of gifts for every, but really every, imaginable occurrence (birthdays, Easter, Xmas, Sta Claus, you name it), it became really a nightmare, even if well intended. Not to mention not-christian coworkers, who had no relation to most of these "occasions".

I'm okay if the company would like to gift there employees with either monetary or some token gift. It should always be the same for all (except monetary year-end bonus, which could be based on years of service and proportional to salary). Anything else creates unecessary expectations and/or friction.