For a while one of the metrics used to evaluate our service desk was time elapsed to acknowledge a new user request. All requests had to be acknowledged within five minutes of receipt of e-mail, web-based entry, or other method of submission. MInd you, there was no metric to measure problem RESOLUTION, just one to measure how quickly we acknowledged the user's request for assistance. The resolution could have taken months, but as long as we called the user in five minutes, we were good to go.

I remember one tale, unverified, of KFC managers' being measured on the amount of leftover chicken thrown away at the end of the day. Obviously, they stopped cooking early, and customers arriving toward the end of the day would get cold chicken or none at all.