Discussion on:

10 less-than-ethical ways to get ahead

When you meet them in the rest room feign ignorance.When the police arrive strike a deal for the bosses house."Money always makes me feel good".

Thou shall not get caught!!

Going on the same lines as the Author -- who seems to have had an excellent time at office :

0. Make sure you are on your desk when the boss arrives and also before he leaves.
1. Walk through the office corridors with a thoughtful face - as if you are searching for some idea - even if ur brain is as empty as an evacuated vessel
2. Pluck out few keys from your laptop keyboard after an year or so - just to give an impression that you work much more than others.
3. Talk good about Boss in front of his boss
4. If your boss is a female, be her right-hand - The man with all info to make her feel in control
5. Clock some time in the weekend - simply surfing the net - just to give an impression that you do work
6. Whenever a peer comes up with a good idea, try to nip it out by saying "Its all already there. Nothing new in it..."

1a) Get one of those glasses that make you look the thoughtful hardworking kind
1b) Always carry a notebook and pencil when you walk (not a pen, mind you)

Why is female specified in #4. I think it applies equally, if not more, for a male boss.

I'm a man and it is easy to see that female bosses are more in control and can spot this fake support from a mile away. males on the other hand like to have their ego stroked at every opportunity and are so much easier to man-ipulate.

like I did in 2011. I have a give & take relationship with my employer. I have a degree of flexibility in my working hours and in return I am willing to work some weekends and even some Christmas Days. And this isn't even unethical so I shouldn't really be posting here!

.. i can't do any of these... does this mean i am deadwood and won't be able to fit into the corporate cultuer... for I have realized it late that this is how it is now that I am in a middle-management position and I have to pander to not just my boss but also to my subordinates ....
my 'value system' does not help me.. so now what?

I think (hope) this was meant as satire to point out to those that pull these pathetic stunts just how infantile and lacking in character they are.

amirite?

If you are the best at what you do and have a halfway decent boss you will be rewarded. Personally, I would rather be rewarded for my accomplishments and not for playing the game better than anyone else.

Still, it is the only way to go for me.

I meant to comment on this one earlier. I worked with one guy who guarded most of his methods and procedural techniques as personal trade secrets. He parted with as little information as possible with his peers. No documentation and no mentoring. As a consequence, he was considered an indispensable guru by his supervisors. He used this approach throughout his career and it served him well right up until the point when the entire unit he worked for was shut down and everyone was laid off. He certainly developed a reputation for not being a team player. I understand this has hindered his ability to obtain new employment.

Everyone of these are patently useless. They are the same tactics your boss is using to keep his job as he/she knows nothing about what the heck they are doing. In these times it's not how good you are... its how good you can snow your boss. You can be certain that your boss is too busy snowing his boss to tolerate your snow job.. Unless you manage to make your boss look good while cutting your own throat.

My boss is a crazy freeloader of my cigarettes.. and yet he always puffs me off and thats it

If you get in at the right level it's easier to fake your way upwards http://ideasphere.com/chuckpblog/2011/12/12/resume-vs-reality-dont-believe-everything-you-read/

All of the above things would eat at my conscience. Destined to stay at the bottom forever......I could always become a ghost and haunt the person that stepped on me on the way up the ladder.

he would step on your ghost

That's okay. It's early where I am, too, but some of them struck me as funny, in a Dilbert kind of way.

They should make a whole calendar about this piece

Hello Ed and Rick. I consider that high praise since I have always been a fan of Dilbert. Thank you.

That explains your writing

Hello Bob. If that is how you feel then I am glad that you posted it. All feedback is welcome. We need independent thinkers.

Nope not working on me.........any with..............

OK, an interesting forum has eventually arrived!

.

lol

-9 Votes I am heartened, it appears not so many people are stupid as I first thought. The -9 voters: NEVER try and work in any real serious business environment, you will hurt yourselves on the staplers. Keep claiming for burning your mouths on hot coffee at McD's, it your best shot at any income.

the humor transplant was rejected...

But i see not.

Having worked with and for these types and seen them rise and fall, I can tell you this is bad advice. I know it's sarcasm, but some fool out there might actually believe it. With technology everywhere ie: cameras, logs, databases, you will eventually be found out for what you really are. And if you have stabbed your coworkers in the back, don't expect them to support you if you get in trouble. They will GLADLY return the favor.

Laugh at boss' crappy jokes
Agree, agree, agree with boss,
Have lunch with boss everyday - out of sight out of mind
Compliment your boss for whatever reason - at least twice a day
Dress like your boss - same colors/patterns.
Wear the same kind of shoes
Same harido

Dress like your boss and wear the same kind of shoes is a brilliant mind poke. They will find that they can relate to you but they won't know why...

That could get real interesting; I'm a man, she's a woman.

... you must remember you will become the boss, so someone else would use these against you later .

Why even suggest such ways as an alternative and put these ideas into someone's head who maybe never would have considered such unethical behavior?

It is perfectly logical to think that I may be arming the hordes to ravage the planet with bad behavior. Forewarned is forearmed or some such meaningful catchphrase. The next time you see this behavior, you can chuckle quietly to yourself, print out this article, circle the offending behavior, add the offenders name and stealthily slip the article onto your bosses' desk. Then again, ratting out a rat might be considered unethical. Better yet, send a link of this article to your boss today. The antidote for hordes of zombies behaving unethically is managers and co-workers with a conscience armed with knowledge.

So......how did you get such an in-depth knowledge of the subject?