What are you using?
Windows 95?
Today's Windows, version 7 is nothing like what you describe.
Yes, you do need AV, just like Macs. File swaps don't take very long. I cannot remember the last time "Explorer has stopped responding" and I help support 800 PCs.
And the iPad isn't a master of anything, it's too limited.
You're Apple fanboy tattoo is showing.