...I've used similar techniques to patch up my computer cases. Low budget repairs can be fun

The only thing 'cold' here is the supposed argument with Linux users on the one hand and Windows users on the other. That fanboy war ended when sysadmins of our generation grew up. Y'all can poke fun all you want and I'll applaud your inventiveness and humour but the fact remains, Linux is NOT as secure as you like to think.
As to securing windows being a chore. Yeah, sometimes it is though not as much as it once was.
keep 'em coming, Linux fans