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"if you were in China you wouldn't want to access your remote access home PC"

Why not? With the proper protocols and encryption, it shouldn't be any more threatening than that free hot spot at the local coffee shop.

There used to be dial-up solutions, including modems that would auto-answer an incoming call. I haven't see any in over a decade, but you can probably find them somewhere on eBay. Do consumer-grade laptops even have modem ports anymore, or would you need a peripheral one? Tablets certainly don't have one build in.