Discussion on:

The dangers of accepting a counteroffer

I actually "reneged" on two job offers. The first time it was because I did not feel comfortable accepting a one-year contract. I was frank with the hiring manager at the time. When, after being laid off, I came knocking back, eight years later, the same hiring manager gave me a permanent job.
The second time, was because I was interviewed and offered a job by a VP. When I met my supervisor, a week after my acceptance but before my official start date, I realized I would have a hard time working with that person. I submitted my "resignation." Within a year, that company was bankrupt.
Sometimes changing your mind is not a bad thing.

First you are burning a bridge at your current company because you are a traitor and second the company that offered the job you are turning down to remain may no longer want to hear from you again either. I would only accept a counter offer with a multi year can't be laid off or fired contract. If they won't give that (and almost no one will) you should never accept the counter offer. They are just buying time to dump you either its finish a project or train a replacement.

Usually the reasons for wanting to leave a company have a little to do with money and mostly with conditions/working with bad people. Money does not fix the second, its always better to stick to your guns and move on.

Corporates don't give it, so they don't get it.
It's this simple I shook the guy's hand and made an agreement, so it stands, until they fail to deliver, or I do...

whose paperwork requirements approach the size of War and Peace for inband/pay for performance adjustments. In those organizations everyone from management to employee accepts the outside offer as a non-stigmatized means for trying to normalize ones pay wrt the folks fresh off the street from the private sector.

Many states pay higher than private sector nowadays. Not all, but many.

have only served in VA. Here if you have been in state service for more than a few years your salary doesn't keep up compared to the private sector. I saw a lot of fresh faced college kids come in making the same or more than their grizzled peers...

Direct pay in state service may lag the private sector. But...when you add in the very extensive fringe benefits and total job security (such as in CT and other heavily unionized states), unmatched in the private sector, the total compensation package comes out very close, if not better.

But currently have better benefits working in the private sector now vs. VA state employment.

And it seems like VA along with a bunch of other states are cutting those "fringe benefits" right and left along with no pay raises for years on end. I really don't know why anyone would go that route today.

It's open season on public service employees! Back 'in the day', it was common knowledge that private sector employees got paid more money and bonuses, and that public sector employees got paid less money and more benefits.

Now, since private sector employees have taken big benefit and salary hits, the press and others have turned them against public sector employees. So now, public sentiment is against 'high paid' public sector employees, and they are in major attack mode against public sector unions and employees.
I can't see how the public sector is going to keep personnel because they are totally against paying anyone a reasonable wage with reasonable benefits these days.

what do i do after accepting a counter offer? can i rebuild my relationship with my company and by doing what?

Thanks

It really depends on your relationship with your current employer and your reasons for leaving. If the conditions are right, you need to speak to someone (preferably your manager, but their manager if this is not appropriate) explaining your reasons for looking for another job and try to agree an action plan to remedy things. You need to be seen to be trying to (re)build a future with your employer but you both need to take positive and measurable steps to achieve this. It is not impossible.

I once was offered a job interview by a competitor to my then current employer. I accepted that interview to learn what they might have to offer. In a society where we are not slaves, I think that is perfectly fair. Employment is not marriage, or citizenship, where loyalty is normally a lifetime affair. Employment is at the convenience and for the benefit of both parties, employer and employee.

The competitors offer was attractive, but not a real paradigm change. I received a counteroffer (without even asking for it) and chose to accept it, and stayed on with that employer for a number of years and with no hard feelings. On the contrary, I think they saw it as an added sign of loyalty that I stayed on, and they saw counteroffer as a way to not penalize me for that loyalty, rather than as extra money that I got out of them by blackmail.

The thing about money not being so important works both ways. If they are happy with my work, a little bump in my salary should not bother my employer and can make my wife and kids a bit more comfortable...

People and companies don't like to be under pressure or challenged with persons from inside... It means nobody feels confortable to see an employee they count for looking for new outside opportunties. But it seems to me normal to stay tuned to the market! You can't blame the employee to be challenged and to exist as a "mightbe" new opportunity for other companies. Does those companies have a bad feeling over an employee who denied an offer? I don't think so... If the employee is honest with them... He tells his real motivation, situation. In this case it is a fair game! And if he wants to be hired, he gave certainly signs enough in its current position to warn his management, management which has to react. If it doesn't its certainly a sign strong enough to motivate the employee to see outside. It certainly means that his current situation might become harder...

As I have worked for several US and international companies in the past, take all you can get. A better contract with better pay and conditions, great. Position is a relevant thing. Those at the top are the ones holding the cards and this is just a big playground to them. If you can make strategic friends, all the better. Friends of the bosses are bad as they won't risk their positions to people who are better suited as they have that job. It is better to have something on the company like knowledge they need to further you progression. Only share information you learn with those who really matter. Site directors actually live in fear as they are just a minor extension of the real management.

Trust is a big thing. If you carefully watch and listen, you will know if colleagues on all levels progressed by integrity, or by screwing their colleagues. I have seen talented people I greatly respected get the axe because they really cared about others. In business, the company comes first, and you are still just a number. Regardless of what you are told. And as far as blackmail goes, remember that those you try to work over may have more practice.

Brilliant.

Not necessarily true. I've worked with people who looked to leave, received offers from another company and then accepted counter offers to stay.

One ended up getting repeatedly promoted (so much so I wondered how he got promoted so fast, and only found out when I myself received a very generous counter offer as I was ready to jump ship), another got a very good counteroffer to stay and was subsequently pursued by the same company that he blew out by accepting a counteroffer at least twice more.

Ultimately if you're a good employee companies want the skillset. The only point I agree with in this article is that extra money doesn't make other problems go away, which is why I turned down a counteroffer even though it would have given me a 25% pay raise overnight.

When I go looking for a job and get an offer I will never accept a counter offer from my own company. Whether you need more money or you are not happy with the current benefits, if your company did not treat you correctly in the first place you would not looking for a new job. This way, if you move back to your company after a couple of years they know that you do not bluff, you are decisive and you don't do tricks. I also do not exercise ultimatums since they are a kind of bluff. You will also build up a name for being professional.

If you're looking to go, then be ready to go. It depends greatly on the reasons, as a systemic or organizational problem isn't resolved with money. That's my opinion.

I really like your point about "they know that you do not bluff, you are decisive and you don't do tricks." I hadn't previously considered that viewpoint. Thanks.

It's not all about money even if it seems that way.

If you receive an acceptable offer from a prospective employer then just leave. It's as simple as that.

A couple of years ago I became unhappy at work and applied for (and was offered) another job.
My manager was a little bit shocked, but I made clear that with a baby on the way the pay and conditions I were on fell short of the other offer and family comes first.
After a long discussion with my manager he actually made some fairly drastic changes and upped my pay substantially.
I'll never forget that he went the extra mile for my benefit, and so I will always do the same for him.
Our working relationship has never been better and long may it continue!

No such thing as loyalty in the modern workplace, to presume otherwise shows a naviaeity that will get exploited. It might cut across your moral code, but the reason we all go to work is because we have to. Not because we want to, so it is encumbent upon the individual to secure the best deal they can, whether that is a pay rise or promotion. You can be sure that you will be shown no such loyalty when the boot is on the other foot.

I received a tempting counteroffer four months ago. I went online and sought the opinions of others, 9/10 work-related authors and bloggers agreed with you. You're not usually leaving for money reasons, more money won't fix them.

I'm very, very glad I resisted. I now have a job which should last until retirement.

I'd agree that you owe the company as much loyalty as they'd provide you. If layoffs were occurring and they needed to lay you off they aren't necessarily going to be worried about you. That is unless you've built relationships, which is the critical piece. Without them any forward progress in your career will be very difficult.

I read some statistics about counter offers some time ago. They were pretty telling. I don't remember the exact numbers but it was a high percentage, something like 75% or more, of people that accept counter offers are no longer employed by that company within 1 year. It didn't dig any deeper than that, so the reasons are undoubtedly varied. It would be interesting to see the split between company and employee initiated terminations.

My own personal experience in this area tends to agree with the article and the statistics. I interviewed and selected a guy for one of my top positions. He accepted my offer, but then a couple of days before he was supposed to start he contacted HR and told them he had accepted a counter offer. It really ticked me off. Caused me to have to do the whole process all over again from square 1. I lost weeks of revenue. I kept his resume in a special file to make sure I would remember him. Lo and behold guess whose resume appeared on my desk after a job fair a few months later? Yep, and he was unemployed. Laid off. During his interview he told me how valuable he was and how his skills were unique in his current job. Guess he wasn't as valuable or unique as he thought. His resume went in the trash. I will not waste my time on him again, ever.

This bull about loyalty is just that B.S. Companies have no loyalty to employees. We are just a resource to them. You bust you butt for an firm, especially I.T. companies or divisions. They would dump you with out batting an eye. And, the ones making the decisions don't have the guts to do it themselves. They make the someone else give the bad news.
If you plan to leave a company, they want you to give them at least a two weeks notice. When they want you to go, it is usually late Friday afternoon you are told to leave the premisies and not come back. Some will even have you escorted out the door ans insure you take none of the property.
Why does a company offer a counter offer, they do not want to loose their investment in you, the resource on their books.
Burning bridges is want you have done. But its business not personal, per Don Corleone.

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What a quaint notion. Maybe you should ask how this affects your pension, wait a minute, there hasn't been pensions since the 1980s. What about company loyalty? Hahahahaahahahaahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahhaah, I'm killing myself, company loyalty, pensions. No, we need to work for the least amount of money offered, after all, our employers will stand behind us no matter what.
As for burning bridges, napalm the mofos, and don't look back.
BTW- have you had ANY experience in our industry?

Loyalty is something that is expected from the employee, while none is offered in return. That's for suckers. One owes a company exactly what they feel they owe you- nothing. The company always comes first- they'll think nothing of laying off a 10 year, "loyal" employee. Why should this be any different for the individual?

Look out for yourself and your family- companies sure as heck won't.

Totally agreed!

Moving from a job to another is a great opportunity to enlarge your career.

I've told a story that highlights this before, but has noone wondered why, when their company makes them an attractive counter-offer, they weren't paying them that rate, or even a FRACTION of it, beforehand? According to Toni, and a few other people's comments, companies and management can be petty and vindictive. You don't want to work in that environment, but sometimes you have no choice. Besides, it's pretty widespread. In any case, it's just business. Your manager can be your friend, but they're paid to keep costs down. To that end, they'll pay you as low as you can get away with until you fight back. A lot of times just asking for a raise gets sorry speaches about overheads, recessions, lack of funding, etc... Until you actually have a foot out of the door. You just have to be prepared to back up that bluff.

When you have to, I remember the phrase, "Money can't buy happiness. But it can buy you a big boat, which CAN make you happy..." Showing loyalty is definitely a plus, but cash is king.

A few years ago, I gave notice, and a few days later received a counteroffer. I immediately declined, as I had made a commitment and had to honor it. Too bad for me, but I don't believe in the grab all you can philosophy.

Still, I was at first flattered, but soon became angered. Why was I suddenly worth more than i had been the day before? If I was that valuable, why hadn't the company paid me more and given me the perks long before? Although I took a small cut in pay when I moved, my new firm recognized my contribution, and my income soon surpassed what I would have had had I accepted the counteroffer. I wasn't too sad when, a couple of years later, my former firm dissolved.

Toni's analysis is spot on. Money is certainly part of the equation, but what matters most is that you are getting to do the kind of work you love to do most of the time. If you love what you're doing, you will be AMAZINGLY good at it, and that will get you more pay increases and promotions than anything else. If you need to move on in order to do what you want to do, or to get away from people you don't like working with, so be it. Accepting a counter-offer is almost never the right answer.

where business hold all the cards and the "loyalist" peons in HR are kissing the butts of upper management so they can keep THEIR jobs.
I am happy and proud to say this is not the case everywhere. I know an HR Admin who refused to place everybody in the company on salary because she recognized the move for what it was and also realized it to be illegal. Of course she soon "retired" because companies don't want honest people working for them, they want trolls and ogres that will do as they are told. As I have grown older I have come to see the American capitalist system for what it is in most cases - vulture capitalism; a system bent on squeezing employees for everything they can get while they hide behind phony excuses of "hard times". All hard times means is instead of netting $1M an exec might have to settle for a paltry $950K. So the long and short of it is - play their game. Take them for all you can get and don't even consider loyalty. They don't care, why should you?

In all the years I've been looking for work, whether it be while I'm employed or not, I've learned one important fact.

There's lots of fish in the sea.

Literally, I could apply to a hundred different places, and especially if my application is rejected, it's highly unlikely that they will ever remember me or anything about me. Oh sure, if there's three competitors in your field, and one of them goes out of their way to try to hire me (like this example), then sure maybe they might remember who I am.

But far more likely, especially if this is a large company, they have trouble keeping track of their *own* people. At the bank that my wife works at, if you got an entry level job in the call centre and quit 6 months later, you would be one out of ten thousand who have done that. Even their IT department has had tens of thousands of applications and thousands of interviews.

To top that all off, every single company is different. Every bit of interview advice or even career advice should be taken with a 10-lb block of salt. Personally, in this case I would be insulted that I would have to resort to blackmail to actually get a raise within the company I was working at. Why didn't said company offer more to begin with? Is money the only reason for me leaving or staying? Have they shown me an iota of loyalty to begin with?

I have found that it's always best to give a positive reason for leaving your job for another one, then stick to that when rejecting counteroffers. I left my last job because my new job is in the field where I'm guiding my career, and it's only 4 minutes from my house instead of 45. When I received the counteroffer, I could honestly say I enjoyed working for them, but the 2 things I was going after at my new job were things they could not offer. They understood, and said they'd hire me back if I was ever interested.

In any case, every person's circumstances are different.
1) Taking an interview does not obligate you to take the job. Taking an interview helps
you learn your status. Receiving a job offer helps you determine your market value.
As long as you keep in mind that starting a new job does not mean you will be able to
keep that new job.

2) You are a professional, hopefully, and if you accept a counter offer you need to do it
in a professional manner. This means an actual contract in exchange for giving up an
opportunity elsewhere.

3) Taking a "sick day" to interview is not all that professional. Taking a personal day is.
What you do on your days off are your business.

There are ways of leaving that do not burn bridges, assuming you are working with
professionals. If you use the offer, that you have not yet accepted, as leverage, that
may be risky but it's what professionals do. Don't make it personal.

An unwillingness to look at options and negotiate generally just guarantee you lower
pay over the long haul. If nothing else, use the offer to give you a little backbone to
address the issues that are making you unhappy. If you can't resolve those issues
then it is time to move on.

Once you accept an offer, that's it unless you want to burn the bridge with the new
company. Likewise, letting your current employer know you are being recruited is
not a bad way to accelerate the process of getting better compensation.

"I'd like to stay, but the new place offers healthcare/daycare/matching 401K, etc."
If you have multiple offers its even better.

Just remember, in most places you are not "family" you are simply an employee.
If they are not treating you as family they have no right to demand such a thing
as "loyalty" especially if they are willing to cut your benefits and yet give the top
brass bonuses.

I accepted a counteroffer once about 15 years ago and still consider it to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done. As was pointed out, I alienated the organization I had applied to; they initially thought I walked on water. And the managers at my original company never trusted me or took me seriously again. Every observation or complaint, even when legitimate, was considered a ploy to get more money.

When I finally did leave for good, my supervisor's initial response was "I suppose you want a counteroffer?" I said no thanks, I was simply resigning. The loss of good will between me and my long term boss was something that took three years after I left before it began to heal.

My advice regarding counteroffers is very simple: do NOT accept them. If you were unsatisfied to the point that you found work elsewhere, those conditions won't change as part of a counteroffer. You'll be marked as disloyal, untrustworthy and greedy. Once you've made the decision to move on, carry it through.

(not all, so if I missed something important, I apologise), and I agree with the sentiments and with the original article.

However, read any of the "how to get a raise" advice and they all include "get an offer from another company"

full_disclosure:: I have, in my career, accepted and rejected counter-offers, and survived each time. I think every situation has to be evaluated individually

What about a counter-offer to the counter-offer.

Or a counter-offer to the counter-offer of the counter offer.

Ah well, back to the real world.

lol