You were going to leave, the relationship was already broken. If that wasn't already apparent to them before you got an offer, what were the reasons? Did you keep quiet about looking because you knew there would have been an adverse reaction if they found out? Hardly a surprise is it. I mean if they were upstairs discussing down-sizing you, they would invite you would they? After all, there might have been an adverse reaction...
In some waysa counter-offer could be seen as a way of rebuilding the realtionship on their part.
It's all about why you were going to leave, versus why they didn't want you to. If those two opposing needs are aligned, then all is good. So to me, get it all out on the table, have the hard conversation.Kniow where you stand.
Unless there's some secret you are keeping, you have done nothing wrong. Anyone who says different is a worthless hyprocrite.
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