Discussion on:

The dangers of accepting a counteroffer

I actually "reneged" on two job offers. The first time it was because I did not feel comfortable accepting a one-year contract. I was frank with the hiring manager at the time. When, after being laid off, I came knocking back, eight years later, the same hiring manager gave me a permanent job.
The second time, was because I was interviewed and offered a job by a VP. When I met my supervisor, a week after my acceptance but before my official start date, I realized I would have a hard time working with that person. I submitted my "resignation." Within a year, that company was bankrupt.
Sometimes changing your mind is not a bad thing.

First you are burning a bridge at your current company because you are a traitor and second the company that offered the job you are turning down to remain may no longer want to hear from you again either. I would only accept a counter offer with a multi year can't be laid off or fired contract. If they won't give that (and almost no one will) you should never accept the counter offer. They are just buying time to dump you either its finish a project or train a replacement.

Usually the reasons for wanting to leave a company have a little to do with money and mostly with conditions/working with bad people. Money does not fix the second, its always better to stick to your guns and move on.

Corporates don't give it, so they don't get it.
It's this simple I shook the guy's hand and made an agreement, so it stands, until they fail to deliver, or I do...

whose paperwork requirements approach the size of War and Peace for inband/pay for performance adjustments. In those organizations everyone from management to employee accepts the outside offer as a non-stigmatized means for trying to normalize ones pay wrt the folks fresh off the street from the private sector.

Many states pay higher than private sector nowadays. Not all, but many.

have only served in VA. Here if you have been in state service for more than a few years your salary doesn't keep up compared to the private sector. I saw a lot of fresh faced college kids come in making the same or more than their grizzled peers...

Direct pay in state service may lag the private sector. But...when you add in the very extensive fringe benefits and total job security (such as in CT and other heavily unionized states), unmatched in the private sector, the total compensation package comes out very close, if not better.

But currently have better benefits working in the private sector now vs. VA state employment.

And it seems like VA along with a bunch of other states are cutting those "fringe benefits" right and left along with no pay raises for years on end. I really don't know why anyone would go that route today.

It's open season on public service employees! Back 'in the day', it was common knowledge that private sector employees got paid more money and bonuses, and that public sector employees got paid less money and more benefits.

Now, since private sector employees have taken big benefit and salary hits, the press and others have turned them against public sector employees. So now, public sentiment is against 'high paid' public sector employees, and they are in major attack mode against public sector unions and employees.
I can't see how the public sector is going to keep personnel because they are totally against paying anyone a reasonable wage with reasonable benefits these days.

what do i do after accepting a counter offer? can i rebuild my relationship with my company and by doing what?

Thanks

It really depends on your relationship with your current employer and your reasons for leaving. If the conditions are right, you need to speak to someone (preferably your manager, but their manager if this is not appropriate) explaining your reasons for looking for another job and try to agree an action plan to remedy things. You need to be seen to be trying to (re)build a future with your employer but you both need to take positive and measurable steps to achieve this. It is not impossible.

I once was offered a job interview by a competitor to my then current employer. I accepted that interview to learn what they might have to offer. In a society where we are not slaves, I think that is perfectly fair. Employment is not marriage, or citizenship, where loyalty is normally a lifetime affair. Employment is at the convenience and for the benefit of both parties, employer and employee.

The competitors offer was attractive, but not a real paradigm change. I received a counteroffer (without even asking for it) and chose to accept it, and stayed on with that employer for a number of years and with no hard feelings. On the contrary, I think they saw it as an added sign of loyalty that I stayed on, and they saw counteroffer as a way to not penalize me for that loyalty, rather than as extra money that I got out of them by blackmail.

The thing about money not being so important works both ways. If they are happy with my work, a little bump in my salary should not bother my employer and can make my wife and kids a bit more comfortable...

People and companies don't like to be under pressure or challenged with persons from inside... It means nobody feels confortable to see an employee they count for looking for new outside opportunties. But it seems to me normal to stay tuned to the market! You can't blame the employee to be challenged and to exist as a "mightbe" new opportunity for other companies. Does those companies have a bad feeling over an employee who denied an offer? I don't think so... If the employee is honest with them... He tells his real motivation, situation. In this case it is a fair game! And if he wants to be hired, he gave certainly signs enough in its current position to warn his management, management which has to react. If it doesn't its certainly a sign strong enough to motivate the employee to see outside. It certainly means that his current situation might become harder...

As I have worked for several US and international companies in the past, take all you can get. A better contract with better pay and conditions, great. Position is a relevant thing. Those at the top are the ones holding the cards and this is just a big playground to them. If you can make strategic friends, all the better. Friends of the bosses are bad as they won't risk their positions to people who are better suited as they have that job. It is better to have something on the company like knowledge they need to further you progression. Only share information you learn with those who really matter. Site directors actually live in fear as they are just a minor extension of the real management.

Trust is a big thing. If you carefully watch and listen, you will know if colleagues on all levels progressed by integrity, or by screwing their colleagues. I have seen talented people I greatly respected get the axe because they really cared about others. In business, the company comes first, and you are still just a number. Regardless of what you are told. And as far as blackmail goes, remember that those you try to work over may have more practice.

Brilliant.

Not necessarily true. I've worked with people who looked to leave, received offers from another company and then accepted counter offers to stay.

One ended up getting repeatedly promoted (so much so I wondered how he got promoted so fast, and only found out when I myself received a very generous counter offer as I was ready to jump ship), another got a very good counteroffer to stay and was subsequently pursued by the same company that he blew out by accepting a counteroffer at least twice more.

Ultimately if you're a good employee companies want the skillset. The only point I agree with in this article is that extra money doesn't make other problems go away, which is why I turned down a counteroffer even though it would have given me a 25% pay raise overnight.

When I go looking for a job and get an offer I will never accept a counter offer from my own company. Whether you need more money or you are not happy with the current benefits, if your company did not treat you correctly in the first place you would not looking for a new job. This way, if you move back to your company after a couple of years they know that you do not bluff, you are decisive and you don't do tricks. I also do not exercise ultimatums since they are a kind of bluff. You will also build up a name for being professional.

If you're looking to go, then be ready to go. It depends greatly on the reasons, as a systemic or organizational problem isn't resolved with money. That's my opinion.

I really like your point about "they know that you do not bluff, you are decisive and you don't do tricks." I hadn't previously considered that viewpoint. Thanks.

It's not all about money even if it seems that way.

If you receive an acceptable offer from a prospective employer then just leave. It's as simple as that.

A couple of years ago I became unhappy at work and applied for (and was offered) another job.
My manager was a little bit shocked, but I made clear that with a baby on the way the pay and conditions I were on fell short of the other offer and family comes first.
After a long discussion with my manager he actually made some fairly drastic changes and upped my pay substantially.
I'll never forget that he went the extra mile for my benefit, and so I will always do the same for him.
Our working relationship has never been better and long may it continue!