where did you get this article - The Onion?
I learned to program in C and assembly and Apple floating point Basic. Then along came C++. What a mess. I tried Borland and Micro$uck versions. Still an arcane, clumsy implementation with the worst uer interface tools ever. So I used Borland Delphi (Pascal) and VB6 and was a happy and productive programmer. Along the way C++ just got more arcane and more clumsy. The tools to build the user interface lagged lightyears behind Delphi and VB6.
Along came C#. HOORAY!! I could go back to my favorite C syntax while gaining the user interface tools of VB6/Delphi. I have been a very happy programmer. If I need to get really nasty I can always pull up an assembly language compiler. If I need C# to run faster I can use one of the several native code compilers for MSIL code.
Now I should go back to c++....??? yeah. sure. You can put lipstick on the pig but end the end it's still a pig.
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