Got to say you are approaching this wrong.
I mean clearly thought out objective and realistic analysis of the issues.
No need for all that.
Download a nice little melody set it going then skip round your disk singing I can use my IPhone to it in a suitably childish voice.
Go on do a pirouette and skip round the other way...
See, simple and fun, none of that boring thinking stuff...
Let the vendors do that for you eh...