It might be most just, as far as society is concerned, to stick her ex-husband with all the burden of helping her find her feet and become independent. It seems like he wasn't very good at caring for her in the first place, though; what makes you think we'd be successful at insisting that he cough up support money? Should she be shackled to this failure of a man, who might even quit working out of spite, or even worse, decide it would be easier on him to move back in with her? The "charity" system worked well for her, and produced as much justice as you're likely to get in life. You could choose to dwell instead on a man who runs away from responsibilities and is probably making a fresh tragedy of some cocktail waitress's life now. Some people will always be a waste: he is; his ex-wife isn't.
Don't know what to say about your other gal. Unless she faked her medical exam, it seems like a diagnosis of no work and a fatal illness are grounds for receiving disability payments. Perhaps the fact that she can enjoy life while receiving government checks seems unjust? Maybe she's scamming; maybe not.
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