I really do, in fact I feel the same way quite often, when I do I find it best to give my head a shake and not care about people begging for help.
Much like yourself, I prefer to help people when I see a need to help them, not when I'm told to or asked to.
Before you bring it up, I don't get the same feeling from having welfare take my tax dollars to help others. I just don't and I know you see it as the same thing and perhaps I should too but I accept it as a necessary evil.
I really do relate to that mindset though, 'who am I to resolve your screw ups?'
Not a great example but playing on the same mindset, there's a guy at the track who ALWAYS asks you to buy him a pop when you turn up. As soon as you walk in the door its "Hey, see the Canucks game last night? Buy me a pop?"
Okay, in his defense he is a bit slow, actually he's quite slow, I'm not sure what actual mental issues he has but he's surely not on par with the rest of us.
I'm patient for that simple fact of course and I'll always buy him a pop because, well, because he's 'an old face at the track, in his mid 50's now and there are worse people I have to deal with.
It has gotten to the point now though where he EXPECTS you to buy him a pop.
HE -"It's Chinese New Year, you gonna buy me a pop for Chinese New Year?"
I - 'Sure man, I'll get you a pop when I buy my next beer.'
HE - "When are you getting your next beer?"
I - 'Not sure buddy, but I won't forget okay?'
At this point I haven't even checked in, bought a voucher, taken off my coat or found my seat at the bar.
I - order a beer and a pop. 'Hey buddy, here's that pop you wanted'
HE - 'Oh, okay, there's one muffin left, buy me a muffin?'
This is where I get ticked. The guy gets disability, welfare or whatever, he practically LIVES at the track (in fact he was all worked up last week because they decided to open an hour later in the morning) He used to have a menial job at some warehouse, flattening boxes or whatever, but he had a job, bottom line.
His sister, who nobody has met, is known to be rather wealthy and it seems that the track has become the place they tell him to hang out all day, like a care home.
So while I have NO PROBLEM buying a guy a pop, and in his case he does have some issues where he doesn't comprehend courtesy, it is STILL that sense that he is entitled to something and expects a handout that gets to me.
To be fair, I try not to encourage it but I do always by him a pop, as does everyone else he knows there. But I have also told him before that I'll buy him a pop if I feel like it and that it's not good to just walk around asking everyone for a pop.
It's getting to the point now though that I think, 'why does your family just expect you to come and beg here all day? If your family is wealthy, then why aren't THEY being responsible for your well being?'
I think they actually do give him a bit of money each day for food etc. but he'll just drop it on a horse and then ask someone to buy him food or drink. I don't see it as HIS fault but more so his family's fault. It's like they have just put him out to pasture, please forgive the pun.
I work all day and stop in for a beer and a bite after work, see a few old familiar faces and place a few bets while waiting out rush hour. Why is it MY issue to take care of him? If you don't 'help him out' then someone else will offer up handout and you get dirty looks for saying no to him or telling him to wait a while.
Then it's a matter of I'm an a$$hole for not cowtowing to his pleas, which is also encouraging it.
Note: This is also a guy who can drink gallon after gallon of pop. He'll take a large pop and drink it all without stopping for a breath.
Perhaps a poor example but it was just last night that I was thinking about it, 'why am I a bad guy for not offering a hand out EVERY TIME I SEE THE GUY?" And I see him several times a week.
Buying him a pop doesn't have any financial impact on me, if he is hungry and wants a muffin, NO PROBLEM! It's not the money, it's just the expectation that I have money and so I should be offering handouts every time.
Rant over, sorry, i tried to stay somewhat on track but it was a bug in my ear that I had to clear out.
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