# Anyone into Statistics?

Locked

### Anyone into Statistics?

In my early years foolishness, I signed up for a ten-week module on statistics whilst studying for my CS degree. And I hated it with a vengeance. It soon became crystal clear that I found 99 out of 100 topics exceptionally dull.

### I find statistics very useful

I checked up and found that the likelihood of being blown up by a bomb when travelling by plane was very low but was a definite risk. The chances of there being two bombs on a plane was almost non-existent so I decided the best way to avoid the chance of being blown up was to carry my own bomb.

It worked.

Neil B
Cell Block 4
Parkhurst

### Useful

Statistics prove that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Figures show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays live longest.

### Ice cream causes drowning.

Plot ice cream consumption by month, and compare with drowning deaths by month. Both peak in the summer.

Coincidence? I think not!

Oh, wait...

### Christmas Cards cause Christmas

and Beer consumption causes the Super Bowl to occur.

### No, beer consumption causes pregnancy. No text.

.

Important Warning for those who have been drawn unsuspectingly into the use of bread:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

.

:)

### Bread is dangerous no question

but what about carrots, talk about a risky item, every person who ate carrots in 1856 is now dead.

Statistics do not lie.

### The same applies for beans

And bacon! :0

### Oh My

I love bread, bacon, beans and carrots. Guess I am doomed. :)

### All together?

Butbutbutbut, that's a bean sandwich!

Guess I'm doomed too! :^0

### No, not at the same time

but that could work too, never any guarantee, any of us could check out at any time without warning, but I am not worried, death scares me much less than some other things that could happen.

### My brother teaches it!

One of my brother teaches statistics at a prestigious university. He's the smart one.

### There are two types of statistics

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.

And, sadly, many policy decisions, safety cost analysis exercises, and even financial decisions are based on purely made-up data.

Today there are a great number of think-tanks which are covertly funded by certain special interests, who do some rather well-paid data fabrication.

By hiding or manipulating the assumptions that go into a forecast or statistical model, it's possible to prove whatever point you're getting paid to prove.

It's only when you crunch the numbers, validate and test the assumptions, and really 'do the math' do you find that the statistic pasted as the headline on the news story, or used in the speech of a politician, is more fictional than any story Walt Disney ever dreamed of.

### I always like the cancer "research"

Some researcher determines that rats fed a diet high in chemical x develop cancer y at twice the normal rate. The newsmedia then takes it and runs with it. What rarely gets reported is that to achieve the increased incidence of cancer, a human would have to consume twice his body weight (or some similarly ridiculous quantity) of chemical x per day for 30 years. What also doesn't get reported is that even after consuming ridiculously large quantities of chemical x, the lifetime chance of developing cancer y rises from 1 per 10 million population to 2 per 10 million. Family history is a better predictor.

The primary cause of cancer in laboratory rats is laboratory scientists. Think about it...

### Or maybe

cancer is hereditary in lab rats.

### This is possible

But while heredity can cause an increase in the chance of developing certain cancers, it has not yet, to my knowledge, been shown to increase that chance to certainty. Cancer in lab rats and lab scientists, on the other hand, go..well, hand-in-hand: every time a lab rat develops cancer, there's a lab scientist right there.

### Homer said it best

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. - Homer Simpson

### Mark Twain said it better:

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

### Here's an experiment

Stick your right hand in COLD water.

Stick your left hand in HOT water.

On average you'll feel fine.

### Got me thinking

About sticking something else in somewhere else, like, in a jar of mayonnaise.

Takes calculus-based statistics of x-bar and derivatives, though, to locate x/y/z, which is what you're up to, since there ain't nothing happening at the other node.

### I did that, the math was

very dense, full of e's and stuff...

And at the end of it I still failed to prove that wearing odd socks doesn't make you less likely to have a car accident...

Average, median, and standard deviation will do near most of the time.

### I find statistics very useful

I checked up and found that the likelihood of being blown up by a bomb when travelling by plane was very low but was a definite risk. The chances of there being two bombs on a plane was almost non-existent so I decided the best way to avoid the chance of being blown up was to carry my own bomb.

It worked.

Neil B
Cell Block 4
Parkhurst

### Useful

Statistics prove that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Figures show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays live longest.

### Ice cream causes drowning.

Plot ice cream consumption by month, and compare with drowning deaths by month. Both peak in the summer.

Coincidence? I think not!

Oh, wait...

### Christmas Cards cause Christmas

and Beer consumption causes the Super Bowl to occur.

### No, beer consumption causes pregnancy. No text.

.

Important Warning for those who have been drawn unsuspectingly into the use of bread:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

.

:)

### Bread is dangerous no question

but what about carrots, talk about a risky item, every person who ate carrots in 1856 is now dead.

Statistics do not lie.

### The same applies for beans

And bacon! :0

### Oh My

I love bread, bacon, beans and carrots. Guess I am doomed. :)

### All together?

Butbutbutbut, that's a bean sandwich!

Guess I'm doomed too! :^0

### No, not at the same time

but that could work too, never any guarantee, any of us could check out at any time without warning, but I am not worried, death scares me much less than some other things that could happen.

### My brother teaches it!

One of my brother teaches statistics at a prestigious university. He's the smart one.

### There are two types of statistics

There are two kinds of statistics: the kind you look up, and the kind you make up.

And, sadly, many policy decisions, safety cost analysis exercises, and even financial decisions are based on purely made-up data.

Today there are a great number of think-tanks which are covertly funded by certain special interests, who do some rather well-paid data fabrication.

By hiding or manipulating the assumptions that go into a forecast or statistical model, it's possible to prove whatever point you're getting paid to prove.

It's only when you crunch the numbers, validate and test the assumptions, and really 'do the math' do you find that the statistic pasted as the headline on the news story, or used in the speech of a politician, is more fictional than any story Walt Disney ever dreamed of.

### I always like the cancer "research"

Some researcher determines that rats fed a diet high in chemical x develop cancer y at twice the normal rate. The newsmedia then takes it and runs with it. What rarely gets reported is that to achieve the increased incidence of cancer, a human would have to consume twice his body weight (or some similarly ridiculous quantity) of chemical x per day for 30 years. What also doesn't get reported is that even after consuming ridiculously large quantities of chemical x, the lifetime chance of developing cancer y rises from 1 per 10 million population to 2 per 10 million. Family history is a better predictor.

The primary cause of cancer in laboratory rats is laboratory scientists. Think about it...

### Or maybe

cancer is hereditary in lab rats.

### This is possible

But while heredity can cause an increase in the chance of developing certain cancers, it has not yet, to my knowledge, been shown to increase that chance to certainty. Cancer in lab rats and lab scientists, on the other hand, go..well, hand-in-hand: every time a lab rat develops cancer, there's a lab scientist right there.

### Homer said it best

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. - Homer Simpson

### Mark Twain said it better:

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

### Here's an experiment

Stick your right hand in COLD water.

Stick your left hand in HOT water.

On average you'll feel fine.

### Got me thinking

About sticking something else in somewhere else, like, in a jar of mayonnaise.

Takes calculus-based statistics of x-bar and derivatives, though, to locate x/y/z, which is what you're up to, since there ain't nothing happening at the other node.