Software·43,881 discussions

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Locked

I received this via email and I thought I would share with the TR world. It’s actually pretty funny.

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a
deserted street with your wife
and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic
Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you…

You are carrying a
Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

…………………………………………………………..
THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat’s Answer:

* Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!
* Does the man look poor or oppressed?
* Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
* Could we run away?
* What does my wife think?
* What about the kids?
* Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
* What does the law say about this situation?
* Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
* Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
* Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
* Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
* If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
* Should I call 9-1-1?
* Why is this street so deserted?
* We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
* Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
* I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
* This is all so confusing!

…………………………………………………………………..

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

………………………………………………………………

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click….. Click… (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click..
Click.

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!’
‘Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! ‘

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’

Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!

Topic

Being

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

a “Southern/Liberal/Democrat” … with a CHL. I know, that if the man wielding a knife is closer than 20 feet (mere seconds), running at you, there is not enough time for you to draw, aim, and fire before he would be slicing away.

I’d start charging at him to give my family time. Attack with the verousity of a mother Bear protecting her cubs and not stop until one of us was dead. Or, until the wife had time to pull out her Kel-Tec PF9 and yell at me to drop!

Sterotypes, don’t ya just hate ’em!

haha no kidding

In reply to Being

Stereotypes are hateful assumptions, but can be funny :).

I’m a Republican, I live in the South and I would shoot (if I had the time), but I wouldn’t keep shooting and shooting and shooting; you get the idea. 😀

Chuckle ….

In reply to haha no kidding

Well, I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

I thought the joke was funny, in that like many funny jokes its ridiculous.

But after chuckling about it, my next thoughts were of a more serious nature.

(1) Who cares if the guy charging at you is an Islamic terrorist or not? Who’d even think about that? Who’d care WHY he was charging you with a weapon? You’re being attacked by a person with a deadly weapon. That’s all that matters.

(2)Yep, if the attacker is close enough before you detect him and his intent, you may not have time to draw your weapon and get it into operation.

It takes some finite amount of time for one to recognize that there IS danger, some time for the brain to process the “fight or flight” debate that occurs in one’s mind, and then some amount of time to actually get out the weapon and employ it. I’m presuming you’re not actually walking down the street with a firearm in your hand ready to go.

I’ve BTDT. As a youth at one point lived in a not so nice neighborhood which had more than its fair share of thugs, bullies, and gang members. Got “jumped” on a number of occasions. By people using everything from hands and feet, to clubs, to knives, etc. Have been sliced and stabbed. Whacked over the head with a 2 by 4. Etc. And have returned the favor.

I’m also became a military combat vet in later years. As in up close and personal combat.

More than a couple times the only thing that saved me when surprised by an unexpected attack by an armed opponent, was some darn fancy footwork and dodging around like crazy while desperately trying to get my own weapon into action, if I had one.

Fast feet can sometimes be your best friend.

But other times, there are no better options than to just resolve in your mind to take the first blows, accept that you’re gonna get hurt, but focus on continuing to get whatever weapon you have available into action … regardless.

Unlike what is commonly portrayed in movies and on TV, one does not instantly die or become disabled upon the first knife slice or stab or hit by a bullet. Well, that’s possible but highly unlikely. In fact you usually don’t feel much pain in those first few seconds. I’ve been in fights where I didn’t even realize I was injured until it was all over.

In the scenario proposed by the joke, if the guy was too close before I recognized his threat, I’d probably be had (hurting).

Simple as that. Nothing much else to do but to place self between him and the family. Dance around, dodge, maybe just plow into him as hard as possible to knock him off balance (down if possible) … whatever just to give myself an extra second or two to get a weapon out. While focusing on ONE thing … get the weapon out and KILL the SOB … no matter what, no matter how badly I’m hurt.

BTW, for those of you who’ve had training in the martial arts. So have I. It’s simple, the odds are you’re gonna get cut and hacked no matter how good you THINK you are.

(3)The Southerner’s Answer is funny. Made me chuckle.

But the truth of the matter is that both he and the Republican are making mistakes.

The Republican because he only shoots once.

Nope … shoot the sucker til he stops, or better yet until he drops.

The Southerner because either he’s a horribly bad aim and has missed far more than he’s made a hit and HAS to reload and continue firing to get the guy to stop. Or he’s let his emotions and hate take over and forgot to save some ammo and look around to see if another attacker is coming at him.

Or … he was just so scared sh*tless that he doesn’t even realize how many times he’s fired.

I’ve seen that, too. It’s actually pretty common.

Chuckle, I remember one time … a long time ago and in a place far away. We were at our base camp (an advanced base), just returned from a day of patrol duty. And I was pulling my turn at guard duty. By this time I was considered one of the “old, experienced” guys. Having been there for long enough that I was nearing the end of my tour.

Anyway, we had this one guy also on guard duty who was new. And he was a “rover”, who did regular walking checks of the fence line.

Despite various steps we took to detect, deter, or kill those trying to get up to the fence in the dark. Those sneaky, clever SOBs regularly found ways to do it. And would either set charges to blow a hole, or would cut through.

Anyway, this one night a group of em managed it. The new guy came up on his rounds just as a guy came through a freshly cut opening. Both were surprised as heck, and both cut loose with their weapons.

I happened to be close. As a senior type, I routinely made randomized checks of fixed guard posts, the rovers, etc. Never set a pattern for my movements, nor a predictable time schedule. That’s a great way to end up playing dead cockroach … setting a routine pattern.

Quiet, calm, boring night. Then suddenly bullets are flying. I ran up to the scene to find the new guy stiff, shaking, white in the face, weapon pointed at a bad guy on the ground. My eyes went from that to the fence, and the hole in it. I took a firing stance and yelled at the new guy, “RELOAD !”. He was standing there like a darn statue, a shaking statute.

I yelled the same command a couple times before I finally got a response from him. A murmured, “I’m okay, I’ve still got rounds.”

I moved over and whacked him up side the head and demanded, “RELOAD ! Dammit, there might be more of em out there.”

He finally did change mags. And looked surprised to find the old mag was empty. Which I figured it had to be given the number of shots I’d heard. Empty or nearly so.

That was all that happened that night. Evidently the bad guy’s buddies took off when the shooting started.

But later I talked to the new guy and he didn’t remember firing more than 3-4 times. Nope, he’d emptied his magazine.

Not that I was faulting him. BTDT, myself.

Never know

In reply to Chuckle ….

how much you’re really firing a gun or how you’re literally beating person to death until you come out of the “shock” of physical confrontation. I have been in a few skin-on-skin fights, but never any fights with weapons.

Sounds like you’ve had an interesting life. My buddy was in Army Infantry. I respect you guys and all the men and women in the military.

None of the above

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

I’m not stupid enough to walk down a deserted street in Baghdad with my wife and family…without something more substantial than a 1911, no matter what the load.

A TEC-9, SAW or squad of Marines would do.

etu

This

In reply to None of the above

“deserted street in Baghdad” … was not part of the question.

Just sayin’ …

The entire scenario is fantastical

In reply to This

That some expect personal feelings or political leanings to trump the instinctive urge to protect family only spotlights their lack of conprehension.

agreed – nt

In reply to The entire scenario is fantastical

…

Response to Nick

In reply to The entire scenario is fantastical

Please go to Dearborn, MI – same scenario, lol

Not familiar with the area

In reply to Response to Nick

but shouldn’t I worry more about an unemployed auto worker as I unlock my VW?

bias?

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

I’m not a southerner or a republican. How could you say that this is how all democrats would respond? I know you didn’t write this, but still you must believe it or you wouldn’t have posted it, or thought it was funny. Bias you are.

Bias or not

In reply to bias?

Have a sense of Humor! This is HALARIOUS!!!! AND I’m a proud southerner! 🙂 If you can’t laugh at yourself, I pity you…

It’s a joke.

In reply to bias?

See if eBay has a sense of humor up for bid.

Bias? Truth.

In reply to bias?

Dude, you have got to be kidding. Bias in this little ‘tale’ is truth. The liberal mind is so tuned into the abstract and fantasy of a perfect world with perfect people and perfect situations that reality never enters their conscious thinking.

The world can be beautiful, and deadly. Having the OPTION to protect oneself and family is a right we are Blessed with. Killing an attacker is the best way to insure that he/she/it does not attempt that again – since he/she/it will be out of jail in just a few years after attempted murder/assault with a deadly weapon – you know, the liberals belief that dangerous people can be ‘rehabilitated’.

Bill S.

Conversation

In reply to Bias? Truth.

is far better,and more civil, then engaging into a ruthless “battle to the death”. You do not have to lower yourself to the level of violence to combat violence; ever hear of fighting fire with water?

Do you honestly believe that a peaceful utopia is abstract and fanciful? Do you not realize that man has evolved into a less selfish nature over the course of the last fifty years? We’re far more giving then we ever have been! Further, it is highly probable that man’s selfishness will diminish within the next 100 to 200 years. More further, about the “evils” of socialism. Did you ever study the Indians? The Indians were social in their form of government. The men would go out, hunt,then bring the food back to distribute among the tribe. They shared goods. They had one chief to report to. Why is that thinking evil now?
Before you attack me with the violence of the Indians, calling me a hypocrite, I’ll tell you that I don’t agree with everything the Indians did. However, I do believe they had a good starting point, foundation if you will, for government.

To answer most of your questions, “Yes.” – EDITED

In reply to Conversation

Yes, I believe a peaceful utopia is abstract and fanciful. Humans is competitive: run faster, make more money, buy more stuff, have more ‘power’ (as defined by the power holder), etc. Eliminate our competitive nature and you eliminate our drives to invent, improve, discover. An unfortunate side effect of our competitiveness is the inability to live in perfect harmony; Utopia is stagnant.

No, I don’t realize man has evolved to a less selfish nature. Road rage. Loud phone conversations in public places. The litigious state. Gods forbid anything should inconvenience anyone these days. We may be more giving in a charitable sense, but try merging on the highway at rush hour.

The native American Indians didn’t have a choice; hunt together or starve. It’s a lot easier to bring down a buffalo when there are 20 of you shooting it. Few jobs today require that kind of group. Most jobs consist of one person doing his portion and handing off the output to someone else. Those that don’t are full of people trying to outdo each other. The Indians probably did the same thing, come to think of it. The guy who rushed in to slit the deer’s throat may have had first pick of the meat.

EDITED – None of which should be interpreted as my agreeing with BillSmythe, who is farther to the right than I am.

Chuckle ….

In reply to To answer most of your questions, “Yes.” – EDITED

“The guy who rushed in to slit the deer’s throat may have had first pick of the meat. ”

Generally speaking, that’s true. Who ever got in the killing stab, slice, or whatever was usually credited with the kill and got the choicest cuts of meat.

I say “generally” because custom and rules did vary from tribe to tribe.

It seems like too many folks have this idea that Indians (as in Native American types) were all pretty much alike in their customs, beliefs, way of life and so forth.

This wasn’t the case.

BTW, I am one of those “Injuns” … LOL. Born and raised the first several years of my life on a reservation. I’m half Cherokee.

And was raised partly traditional, and partly just like anyone else of my age group. On one hand my grandparents insisted I learn the old customs, traditions, Wisdom Fire stories, etc. On the other hand, I listened to Roy Rogers and Flash Gordon stories on the radio, read all the Tom Swift novels, was a Boy Scout, played baseball, etc.

My cousins, friends, and I used to argue over who was gonna be the Cowboys and who was gonna be the “Injuns” when we played. Usually settled by taking turns. For those who don’t know, a great many of the old “Cowboys” … were Indian, or at least partly so. Just as the old Calvary troops used to almost always include a pretty fair number of “Injuns” in their ranks. In fact, IIRC, one of the graduates of the very first class out of West Point was a full blooded Cherokee.

Anyway, what the poster who you responded to said … was, generally speaking, only partly true.

Saying “Indian” … is pretty much like saying “European”. They come in all sorts of “flavors”, speak different languages, have varied customs, etc.

Amongst most, but not all, tribes … sharing was considered the right and honorable thing to do. But it wasn’t absolutely required or demanded, in most cases.

And while a man might well be more than willing to share with his immediate extended family or fellow villagers.

That was not to say he felt the same about sharing with “those folks over there”, in the next village. And especially did not mean he felt the same about sharing with “that other tribe”.

And … it was a case of being willing to share. Amongst many of my ancestors it was a sign of honor. A real man was expected to be generous.

But it was an entirely different matter if someone, or some group tried to FORCE him to give his stuff to someone else. He might give you the last pair of shoes he owned … but try to take em from him and you could expect a fight.

And in the case of group activities such a group hunting, group gathering, etc. When things were divided up, there was usually a pecking order. The lower down you were in the pecking order (usually determined by your good reputation and usefulness in the village) the less you could expect, or the poorer the cut of meat, or whatever.

And when it came to Starving times … and a man had to decide whether to save his own family or share with others … well, that worked pretty much like you’d expect.

Now I sure as heck don’t know about every tribe. I’ve seen estimates that there were as many as 600 different ones in North America alone when the Europeans first started coming over to settle. But I can tell you that for many tribes and villages, there was more than one Chief.

Speaking solely about the Cherokee, a Chief was essentially voted in, and he or she sure as heck could be voted out. And Chiefs had limited powers. And if they exceeded those, they could and did on a number of occasions get voted out the hard, permanent way.

I think the guy you responded to has been reading entirely too many books that have been edited to be PC and idealistic as versus realistic.

My own grandparents and parents left the reservation because they didn’t agree with the current leaders at the time over a number of issues. In doing so, they were following a long, long tradition. In the old days, if yah didn’t agree with the Chief of your village or the Chief of the Clan … you went your way, they went theirs. You went to start your own village. Or went and joined another village, Clan, or even Tribe whose leaders you could get along with.

I can remember long ago seeing some Cowboys and Indians flick which portrayed a situation where some War Chief was demanding his warriors do something really stupid and virtually suicidal. In the movie, they portrayed things like it was a matter that he could make em do this whether they wanted to or not.

LOL … maybe there were tribes that behaved like this I don’t know. But I can tell you that with a great many of the tribes, the War Chief was only followed because his warriors trusted him and believed in him and his decisions. If he lost their belief and trust in him, he could find himself fighting his battles alone.

Yes, but it was consensual

In reply to Conversation

[i] The Indians were social in their form of government. The men would go out, hunt,then bring the food back to distribute among the tribe. They shared goods.[/i]

I am somewhat familiar with Iroquois traditions because some of the students I shared classrooms with were of Iroquois descent. My poor memory and understanding is that the people shared willingly, but if they did not wish to share, it was not forced. That’s a good bit different from somebody telling me “You need to share and we will take it from you if you don’t do it willingly.” That’s nothing less than theft.

I’m still laughing at

[i]Conversation is far better,and more civil, then engaging into a ruthless “battle to the death”. You do not have to lower yourself to the level of violence to combat violence; ever hear of fighting fire with water? [/i]

If it comes to “lower[ing] yourself to violence” or sacrificing your family, I think you might surprise yourself at how low you can go. IMO, if you won’t defend your family (not can’t, but [u]won’t[/u]), you don’t deserve them in the first place.

Amen Bill

In reply to Bias? Truth.

We see on the news every day how ‘rehabilitated’ they are.
Jesus is the only answer for hearts changing.

You forgot

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

to jump in the 4×4, run over said terrorist, reverse back over terrorist, repeat once, twice, thrice. (just to make really REALLY sure)

Love this post!!!

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Truth is sometimes both funny and a shock to the system.

The liberal banter is sooooo true. I think one aspect that makes this ‘fantasy’ is that a true liberal would never be packing heat. Therefore, he and his family would probably not survive due to ignorance and political correctness.

Great Post jfuller05!

Bill S.

Hate to bust your bubble

In reply to Love this post!!!

But this “Liberal” packs, and knows how to employ said weapon.

Ditto

In reply to Hate to bust your bubble

With no qualms when it comes to my family or loved ones.

But maybe I don’t fit the mold because I’m not truly “liberal” or “conservative”. I go with what is right in my mind for the issue at hand. For this particular issue: “Bang. Bang!”

And I know plenty of conservatives who don’t. No text.

In reply to Hate to bust your bubble

.

Republican’s answer is wrong

In reply to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

You step back, avert your eyes, and when the carnage is complete you embrace and stroll off into the sunset arm in arm.

If you step back and avert your eyes…

In reply to Republican’s answer is wrong

the carnage will be you. Perhaps I misunderstood what you are saying?

I believe he’s talking about afterwards

In reply to If you step back and avert your eyes…

but if you avert your eyes, how can you check your accuracy?

Accuracy

In reply to I believe he’s talking about afterwards

Sawed off double barrel doesn’t need much accuracy.. ha

I don’t claim to be an expert on firearms laws, but

In reply to Accuracy

I don’t think there are too many jurisdictions that allow concealed carry (or even unconcealed) of sawed-offs. I’ve been wrong before.

“Sawed off”

In reply to I don’t claim to be an expert on firearms laws, but

Anything less than 18″ (federal).

Even in a hallway, you aim, lest you get it all over the wall.

I saw a CHP motorcycle officer, once, with a neat little one at 12″, and pistol grip only.

You, too, technically, may have one. But, there are hoops…

[Author]

Replies