General discussion

  • Creator
    Topic
  • #2284720

    Early Friday Yuk

    Locked

    by guruofdos ·

    It was reported on the news tonight that because of all the adverse publicity and media attention surrounding the child molestation charges, Michael Jackson attempted to commit suicide by jumping overboard from his yacht.

    The Coastguard later found him bobbing up and down on a small buoy.

All Comments

  • Author
    Replies
    • #2690077

      Yuk?

      by hereinoz ·

      In reply to Early Friday Yuk

      Only from an Englishman!! 🙂

      Alan

    • #2689853

      YUK YUK

      by jkaras ·

      In reply to Early Friday Yuk

      I just bought a new state-of-the-art Sony car stereo!
      When you shout out “Soul”, it plays soul music.
      When you shout out “Rock”, it plays rock music.
      Some kids ran in front of my car this morning and I shouted
      “F***king Kids” … and it played Michael Jackson

      • #2689782

        NASTY!

        by oz_media ·

        In reply to YUK YUK

        I didn’t hear that one yet, nasty, I like it.

        I’m laid-up in bed with a wasted back for a few days so it’s nice to see an early YUK or two.

        Cheers,
        OM

    • #2689783

      Oh GOD

      by oz_media ·

      In reply to Early Friday Yuk

      😛

      I just got told that one last week and had already forgotten it, I hate it when that happens “oh, I got one, I got one….uhhhhhhhh”

      • #2687984

        Breaking Technology News

        by guruofdos ·

        In reply to Oh GOD

        A spokesman for Olympus has just announced a breakthrough in digital camera technology.

        It has been rumoured that the latest models, shortly to go on sale, have shutter speeds so fast they can even take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut.

        • #2687968
          Avatar photo

          GoD

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to Breaking Technology News

          The PC Police will be down on you very soon.

          But just remember to kick and scream as they drag you away for reeducation it would also help no end if you insisted on the fact that you where quoting directly from an article and have it handy so they will only need to prevent you from seeing the funny side of things like that instead of allowing you’re wife to carry you’re “Family Jewles” around in her handbag and only allowing you to have them as she requires.

          Col

        • #2687939

          I see

          by oz_media ·

          In reply to GoD

          Clockwork Orange?

          Guru all strapped in being subjected to PC movies while the nurse stands by with the eye drops.

          Welly well then Guru, shall we popdown to the Moloko bar for a little pick me up before heading out for a little of the old….ultra violence?

          Great stinkin yarbles, now I gotta throw the movie on for a while.

      • #2689321

        Brilliant Joke….

        by guruofdos ·

        In reply to Oh GOD

        My 2004 salary review!!!!!

        Don’t ask……………

    • #2687808

      Early Monday Yuk

      by guruofdos ·

      In reply to Early Friday Yuk

      A man was speaking to his wife. Her birthday was coming up and he was trying to decide what to get her for a gift.

      “How about a top of the range sports car, with all the extras?”

      “I don’t want a car!”

      “Ok. How about a first class round-the-world luxury cruise?”

      “I don’t want a cruise!”

      “Well then. What about a Tiffany necklace…24 carat gold with a 20 carat diamond?”

      “I don’t want a necklace!”

      “Well. What you you want then?” he asks her.

      She replies “I want a divorce!”

      “Hell!, he retorts. “I wasn’t planning on spending THAT kind of money!”

      • #2689306

        Alright Guru

        by oz_media ·

        In reply to Early Monday Yuk

        Ok man, here we go, screw the Q&A section and replace it with ‘Guru’s daily joke’ section. Then it wouldn’t matter if people posted to discussion threads by ‘accident’.

        We could even have a points system where the reader posts a point value in order to view the joke. After reading it they can accept it as funy or reject it as offensive.!! If they continue to reject jokes (say 5 or 10) they then get a message saying they need to get a sense of humor and they lose 500 points.

        I ALWAYS welcome a joke, any time any day just pour it on.

        • #2689261

          And you thought

          by guruofdos ·

          In reply to Alright Guru

          the ‘Dos’ in GuruOfDos referred to an obsolete OS??

          Think again!

          It stands for Dubiously Offbeat Smirking!!!

        • #2689163
          Avatar photo

          GoD I can see that

          by hal 9000 ·

          In reply to And you thought

          Guru Jr has had some unforseen side effects on you.

          Keep it up!

          Col

Viewing 3 reply threads