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Friday Yuk

By Oz_Media ·
The Perfect Day

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 B***job.
7:45 Massive dump while reading sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 B***job.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 B***job.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 Sh*t, shower, shave.
8:00 Watch CNN Repeat coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Watch as Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal (which involves graphic pictures and large farm animals).
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight B***job. Sleep

Oh well, have a nice weekend anyway.

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108 total posts (Page 1 of 11)   01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05   Next
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wrong

by Black Panther In reply to Friday Yuk

In hers take out the Make Love!

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All depends

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to wrong

If she is a live in lover then it would have to stay but if the wife it wouldn't even be allowed anywhere near the list unless you had done something wonderful the previous day/night.

Col ]:)

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Wonderful

by Black Panther In reply to All depends

The previous day or night - It could be the previous year and then one sideways look would soon wipe that out! :)

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Sorry to burst your bubbles guys.

by Jessie In reply to Wonderful

But you see, this being the woman's perfect day, making love is included... which involves a LOT more than giving her man sex. You see, there's this thing called foreplay and we women like it when you make this part last for HOURS. It involves tender kisses, gentle caresses, sweet words whispered in the ear, neck nibbling. Making love is a slow and gentle process. We ALWAYS have time for this. What we don't really care for is you going straight for the money before we're ready and we end up with you thumping away for 3 minutes then going to sleep... why even bother with that?

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Nothing at all, as long as.....................

by sleepin'dawg In reply to Sorry to burst your bubbl ...

Foreplay doesn't constitute hours of begging.

Dawg :^O

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Strange thing that is exactly what my wife used to say

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Sorry to burst your bubbl ...

Until she got exactly what she wanted and then she didn't want it any more! :)

Apparently being unable to walk properly had something to do with it and she has constantly been of the mind that I'll take the abridged edition ever since.

Anyway have a good weekend no matter how pregnant you really are Jessie and remember that you wanted this to happen so you can not continue blaming your other half no matter how good it might feel.

Col ]:)

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because

by jdclyde In reply to Sorry to burst your bubbl ...

making us happy should make you happy!

now, why am I getting a divorce again?

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TR Sex Clinic

by cp7212 In reply to Sorry to burst your bubbl ...

Jessie, you should give us some tips more often. I am always on the lookout for some more "inside information" about women. lol

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3 minutes !

by Oz_Media In reply to Sorry to burst your bubbl ...

Who the **** has that much time to waste on a woman?

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oh no...

by maecuff In reply to 3 minutes !

Not you, Oz. I'm crushed.

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