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Friday Yuk

By aidemzo_adanac ·
Tags: Off Topic
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There, on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"


A big company offered $50 for each money-saving idea submitted by its employees. First prize went to the employee who suggested the prize money be cut to $25.

Employee's Ten Commandments

1)If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

2)If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

3)Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

4)For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

5)Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.

6)Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

7)To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

8)The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

9)Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10) If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

Have a good weekend!!!!

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How true

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

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One liners

by Shellbot In reply to Friday Yuk

- The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.

- UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

- Bugs come in through open Windows.

- Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.

- Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.

-Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.

- Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.

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by aidemzo_adanac In reply to One liners

bashing or not, still good!

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