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Friday Yuk (we need to start this back up)

By Slayer_ ·
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Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by.

One of the old Grandmas yelled out,'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!'

The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess that, you old slappers.'

One of the Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and underpants & we can tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times & then jump up & down several times.

Determined to prove them wrong, he did it. Then they all piped up & said,'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,

'How in the world did you guess my age?'

Slapping their knees & pissing themselves laughing, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison - - -

'We were at your birthday party yesterday.'


------
I hope that helped.

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I'm not that funny

by JamesRL In reply to Friday Yuk (we need to st ...

But I applaud the effort.

It used to be called the Friday Yuk.

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Renamed

by Slayer_ In reply to I'm not that funny
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Great Deal!

by NickNielsen In reply to Friday Yuk (we need to st ...

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that truck???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today."

"With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars."

"Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money. So I did."

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An old joke, but still good

by Slayer_ In reply to Great Deal!

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.

"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

"My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away. About 2 miles down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.

With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you get lost?! I'm trying to take a ****!"

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One of the first urban legends I have heard

by JamesRL In reply to Great Deal!

Only it was a Porsche, a newspaper ad, and the man had run off to Vegas with his mistress. The proceeds of the sale were to go to his gambling.....

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Well because I'm nice there is always this

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk (we need to st ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSPMZ1QzzFc

It will at the very least bring a smile to your face.

Col

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thanks

by PurpleSkys In reply to Well because I'm nice the ...

i needed that

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Pet Parrot

by AV . In reply to Friday Yuk (we need to st ...

A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"

AV :^0

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Well I suppose there is always this ISP Add

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Friday Yuk (we need to st ...
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Oh you know what?

by AV . In reply to Well I suppose there is a ...

When I heard that music, I thought what song is it? I can't remember the name, but I know I used to see acts like this one played to that music.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhoos1oY404

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