Laser that induces vomiting ...

0 Votes

Laser that induces vomiting ...

OldER Mycroft
Laser Energetics of America had proudly announced its latest weapons. According to boss Robert Battis, they fire green rays just like in Star Wars "to help the military, law enforcement, correctional facilities, security, border patrol, piracy control, homeland security, airport security and more."

And the good news is they don't kill the bad guys - they just make them puke.

This remarkable effect is caused by the green ray messing with the target's vision and balance, generating the urge to throw up. The weapon comes in two useful sizes:

#1 - A hand-held version, which is claimed to be effective up to a mile away

#2 - A mini-torchlight model, which can reintroduce you to last night's pizza from 100 metres

The manufacturers assured Zygote that their weapons of mess extraction worked even with the target's eyes shut, but they failed to respond to the obvious flaw in the system: what if the Terminator wears mirrored sunglasses ??

* Zygote, Computer Shopper, October 2009 edition.