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May 21, 2011 is Judgment Day

By AV . ·
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Well, this is the big one, folks. Are you ready for the Rapture? Either you're going up to Heaven on Saturday or you'll be "left behind" with the rest of us sinners. I already know which group I'm in, so bring on the fire and brimstone. :^0

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43082513/ns/us_news-life/t/end-world-how-about-party-instead/

Edited: Forgot the link


AV

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Yeah, heard that a couple weeks ago.

by seanferd In reply to May 21, 2011 is Judgment ...

Then there was the rapture last year, and two years before that.

U.S. history is littered with more eschatological predictions than the the entire history of the rest of the world put together.

Just ask the believers to sigh over all their cash and property over to you. It's odd how few takers there are. But id they love their pets, there is always http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

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Funny, just dang funny

by Michael Jay In reply to Yeah, heard that a couple ...

Notice of Rate Increase: Due to the increased activity associated with the May 21, 2011 Rapture prophesy we have increased our service rates for all new contracts submitted as of 1/13/11.

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Obviously the extra work needs to be compensated for...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Funny, just dang funny

laughing all the way to the bank ain't a walk in the park!

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A fool and his money are soon parted

by AV . In reply to Yeah, heard that a couple ...

Cashing in on the Rapture. Oh, Capitalism at its greatest. I hate to see these people on Sunday morning, after nothing's happened.

AV

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Meanwhile, at the FBI HQ...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Yeah, heard that a couple ...

"We're receiving reports about a serial mass-murderer..."
"Seems this person Jesus Nazarethea (He's apparently Hispanic), has been behind several waves of disappearances. He's even spreading the word that his victims 'have gone to a better place' - a clear-cut euphemism for being croaked."

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Well,

by boxfiddler Moderator In reply to May 21, 2011 is Judgment ...

if I miss this rapture, at least come October something or other, the world will end and I'll be freed from my current circumstance. :^0

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What Davette

by OH Smeg In reply to Well,

Are you worried that the batteries will go flat before you experience the Rapture?

I have the schematics for a Battery Eliminator that suits all Battery Powered Rapture Inducing Devices of the vibrating variety.

If you are at all worried just deposit all your funds after liquidating everything you own into my bank account. I'll email you the schematics which as you have already sold all of your computers you'll be unable to read.

Col

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I'm all stocked up on batteries, thank you

by AV . In reply to What Davette

I got plenty of duct tape too. It always comes in handy for something. :^0

AV

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That civil engineer has figured it out...

by AnsuGisalas In reply to Well,

He's going to say, if he happens to be around on sunday : "Sorry folks, the rapture is real, came and went - we're just none of us good enough... but I deciphered from Revelations, that we're getting a second chance, next deadline is 21 June!

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NO NO that is all wrong

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to That civil engineer has f ...

He will be saying that because of his Prayers to the Mass Murderer AKA Jesus/The Nazarene he has prevented this Catastrophe from occurring and has been told by his beloved Savor that he has until whenever to milk as much as possible out of his followers.

OH and as a Civil Engineer he has very likely got sick and tired of building Targets for Mechanical Engineers to destroy so he's now predicting the End of the Earth when actually it's just the end of what he's built.

Col

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