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real early Friday Yuk

By Jaqui ·
Tags: Off Topic
Just cause I know it is early friday already for some members :)


Finally! -- a Blonde GUY Joke!

Blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says: "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten *******," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Men


Q: What's the best way to kill a man?

A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.


Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?

A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.


Q: What is the difference between men and women:....

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need... A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.


Q: How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"


Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!!
[ fits the decription of gg, mae, tigger, Steffi , CuteElf ... ]

And guy's that can handle it.

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You evil sod Jaqui

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to real early Friday Yuk

I was going to post one early and beat everyone to the punch line but you beat me to it now I'm going to have to go and sulk. :_|

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!! :_|

But on the up side Steffi is currently ignoring me so I get Peace & Quite from that end. :^0

Enjoy your Birthday Bash this weekend and don't do anything that GG, Shellbot,Steffi would do mainly because you're not into cross dressing.

Col ]:)

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A very Happy Birthday to you Jaqui

by Tig2 In reply to real early Friday Yuk

You will be in my thoughts all weekend as I wonder what you are up to. Evil, I have no doubt... recalling that it is what you enjoy.

I wish you a year filled with peace and joy and love- all the best that life can offer you. And patience enough to deal with me while I build my first all out Linux box. I know that I will be picking the brains of all you experienced Linux types!

Before I forget, it might be wise to download a copy of Neil's "hangover survival guide"...

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Tigger -- on Linux???

by w2ktechman In reply to A very Happy Birthday to ...

uh oh, lets start gathering the manuals up!

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Tig has already beat up some kid this year

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Tigger -- on Linux???

So what can we expect when she starts to play with Linux? ;\

Time to start to be Afraid Very Afraid I Think. :0

It's OK we Loves you Tig no matter what any of us say. I'm just glad that I know absolutely nothing at all about Linux What is that some kind on new Desert?

Col ]:)

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I am about to run

by w2ktechman In reply to Tig has already beat up s ...

beating up kids, learning Linux, hmmmmmmm......

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Not out of it that easy, HAL

by Tig2 In reply to Tig has already beat up s ...

I have a list of experienced Linux users that frequent this site. You're on it. Deal with it.

I have a mandate to manage to. I have to find the best Linux distro to start migrating the family to. Even the fiance is Windows centric. Fortunately, he knows Unix so I think he will be okay.

I have a SuSe distro and a spare box to put it on. I deliberately looked for older technology- this box was built for XP Home and should have been running 98. Either that or I should have had a go at it when it was new. Never mind the fact that I hadn't met my fiance yet.

And just you wait. Tigger is going to be acquitted of the charge. Well... assuming the lawyer has a clue. You simply cannot feel anything inside that costume.

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Tig I'm sure that the blood splattering up your face on the inside

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Not out of it that easy, ...

Of the costume is a bit of a give away.

I'm sure that you've got things mixed up as I don't even know what a Linux is I thought it was something that was hunted in the US.

But regarding postings from others about that strange Animal your would be better looking at Jaqui listed above and apotheon

http://tinyurl.com/2sd6qt

I believe that these are the Resident Experts on that wild animal Linux here at TR. I've never seen one or even a picture of one of these animals so I don't have a clue what you lot are talking about HONEST. ?:|

Whatever you do don't look here as I don't know who placed this on my Web Page

http://tinyurl.com/jfwy7

I keep removing it at M$ demands and it somehow keeps reappearing I think that one of those listed here has hacked my Business Web Site and is putting this in to upset M$. :_|

They keep using words that I don't understand so what if they keep insisting that they have a Red Hat what's that supposed to mean? Is it something sexual? Then they use things like SUSE, Mandriva, Googun, Debian, Ubuntu, Yellow Dog, Blue Linux I suppose for the Depressed Turbo Linux and God only knows what else they may as well be in a foreign Language to me for all the meaning that they have. All I ever see is some Rabid Penguin who is constantly called Tux but I'm sure that you lot are not hunting penguins with big rifles as they would be blown away and you wouldn't even get a head to mount. Then they use strange words like Grub, Bash, Mount and others that I know absolutely nothing about. :8}

My religion prevents me bashing a grub and killing it and then mounting it so I honestly have no idea of what these strange people are even talking about but it all sounds terribly violent to me so I don't want to mix with this disreputable crowd. :^0

Col ]:)

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Mounting a dead grub?

by w2ktechman In reply to Tig I'm sure that the blo ...

you are a sic, sic, person for even that thought.

Let me help to clue you in a bit.
Tux, is in season. We do not use shotguns, or other rifles, they are better off used on a Window, maybe with a Vista View.

I had a red hat, but not no more, I keep with SUSE now. Of course, that is only 1 companion.
Suse is a wild beast, but a bit fatter than her sisters, and not as quick in the head. And recently she is developing soem sort of dream about being near a Gate and /or looking out of a Window. So her sisters are much more wild and like jumping over Gates and through Windows.

I hope that clears some things up this morning.

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Of course you now realise that Tig

by HAL 9000 Moderator In reply to Mounting a dead grub?

Has added you to her list of Nix Guru's don't you? :^0

I'm sure that you'll be so happy to help her out of any problems that she encounters and rebuild the computer after it gets thrown out the window because it doesn't work right. Incidentally did anyone tell you that Tig lives on the 47 th floor?

Col ]:)

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HAL, you are SOOOOOOOO bad!!!

by Tig2 In reply to Mounting a dead grub?

I live in a very civilised townhome, thanks. But I work on the 9th floor of a VERY tall building in the heart of the Metro. I think I can access the roof but haven't tried that yet.

And I think you dream of penguins... but can't prove it. I'm trying to believe your story about not knowing a thing about civilised Operating Systems but I fear I am failing badly.

Haven't taken you off the list. And I used to be a nurse. You are in for it now!

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