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YASU (Yet Another Stupid User)

By dryflies ·
One of my users came into my office this morning with the usual ?I have a question?.
I had set her up with a VPN account to access our intranet. Her question was, I tried using the VPN client to access work last night, I opened the VPN client and clicked on the intranet entry and then clicked connect. It just sat there and then eventually gave me an error ?could not get a response from the security principal?

I said, that?s ok, you probably had high traffic at that time, keep trying. Are you on broadband or do you have dial-up? ?I have wireless.? No, how do you connect to the internet? ?I have Wireless.? Who is your internet service provider? ?What? [frown] I have wireless.? Come to find out she has no internet connection at home. She thought her wireless and the VPN client would magically connect her.

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I got a better one for you.

by Why Me Worry? In reply to YASU (Yet Another Stupid ...

Back in the day when I was doing desktop support, I got a call from a frantic user who said that her computer monitor (CRT screen back then) all of a sudden started letting out smoke and sending sparks flying from the ventilation holes. Also, I had noticed a strange wet spot under her monitor and around her desk area and suspected water damage to the monitor. Supposedly, this idiot user had a small flower pot on top of her monitor and was watering it, causing excess water to run into the vent opening and short out the picture tube. When I openly confronted her about it, she said that yes, she had a flowerpot on top of her monitor because she likes plants. I told her that having a plant in the office is fine, but a monitor is no place for a plant or anything else which holds liquids. I bet this idiot also **** dries her hair while standing under the shower. It's a miracle she did not get electrocuted or the picture tube didn't explode in her face. Because of her stupidity, a silly and pathetic corporate memo had to be circulated around the office, asking users not to keep potted plants on top of monitors.

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Same Thing

by jdmercha In reply to I got a better one for yo ...

I had a user with the same problem, but the plant was on a shelf above the monitor.

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Potted plants + Printer + Powerstrip = mess

by cmiller5400 In reply to I got a better one for yo ...

I had a building with plants on a ledge above the printers. Mind you they were NOT directly above the printers, but set back. Well the lady they hired to water them, overfilled the plant pot and it dripped down the wall onto a surge supressor thus tripping the circut breaker. Now for some history, this circut has always been a problem because of the amount of equipment on it. So I just thinking it was a normal trip, went and flipped the breaker. But NOOOO, I go back out there and start to smell that horrid burning plastic/electronics smell. I look behind the printer and the strip is spewing smoke out of it! I then yank the power cord from the wall, then after replacing the powercord for the printer, I leave a nice note for the watering lady to not overwater the plants. I also moved the strip away from that area.

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People like that will someday get struck by lightning

by Why Me Worry? In reply to Potted plants + Printer + ...

The electron gods will get their revenge by sending a bolt of lightning from the sky to zap these folks out of their stupidity comas. I've heard that many people become supergeniuses after getting struck by lightning, but I don't advocate trying it at home.

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Thats not better

by NZ_Justice In reply to I got a better one for yo ...

the majik internet conenction is better

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Same thing

by lhatcher In reply to YASU (Yet Another Stupid ...

I hade the same experience, except for my user actually had been connecting to her neighbor's open wireless network, one day they moved, and no more connection.Took me an hour to convince her that I could not "beam" the internet to her from the office.

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How to have wicked fun with stupid & gullible users

by Why Me Worry? In reply to Same thing

Next time they call you with an internet related problem, tell them that they downloaded a virus and have caused the entire internet to crash, resulting in a worldwide shutdown of all web traffic and that the FBI will probably get involved. Watch this user crap his/her pants and start freaking out uncontrollably. The terrified look on their face is priceless.

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Ha just say no

by Spankylogic9000 In reply to How to have wicked fun wi ...

I always like when they ask for help... or "can you help me with X ? just simply Answer "No" and sit there quietly and let the awkard slience eat'em up ...

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My suggestion

by DMambo In reply to How to have wicked fun wi ...

I think that maybe you should consider another career. Frequently I read into your posts a level of contempt for users (and management) and a level of arrogance that makes me assume that you'd be happier in a field where you don't have to deal with such folks.

I get frustrated with users in my job, but generally I try to remember that they want to turn the key, hit the gas and get their computers on the open road without any problems. When they can't, they call me. And that's what puts food on my table.

If I'm making too big of a leap of logic about your personality, then I apologize. But from my disinterested point of view, that's what I see.

Good luck.

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Lighten Up..jack! I'm just having fun

by Why Me Worry? In reply to My suggestion

I don't have any contempt for anyone, but I absolutely do hate managers who think they are gods and look to please everyone at the expense of their subordinates. Also, what's wrong with cracking a few jokes and gags about stupid users once in a while? If you can't laugh about it, then you are taking your work too damned seriously.

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