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Friday Yuk March 25, 2011

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Friday Yuk March 25, 2011

Jaqui
A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.
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    Jaqui

    it's the Friday Yuk, with no tags since there ain't no way to tag discussions with new design.

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    boxfiddler Moderator

    ain't it?

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    yup

    Jaqui

    it is.

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    puppybreath

    If we have to have a clown in the White House Lets get Charlie Sheen. He has HUGE advantages over Obama.

    1. More qualified and experienced to hold the office. (He watched reruns of his father playing the president in West Wing).
    2. More military experience, (he starred in Platoon, Cadence, and Navy Seals).
    3. More knowledgeable about the economy, (he starred in Wall Street).
    4. Is not a communist or socialist, (he was in Red Dawn).
    5. More likely to defend our boarders, (again Red Dawn)
    6. Is pro second amendment, (Starred in Young Guns).
    7. Is pro law enforcement, (Costarred in the Rookie)
    8. Could host far more memorable state dinner parties, (see arrest record).
    9. Could actually get a ball across home plate at the start of the baseball season. (stared in Eight Men Out and Major League).
    10. Knows the middle east better, (see Hot Shots part Deux)
    11. More decisive and has a high energy level.
    12. Comparatively more sane.
    13. Much more honest.
    14. Much more intelligent.
    15. Much less arrogant.
    16. Has two first ladies, who are much better looking, better mannered, and more experienced in front of the camera.
    17. Is all about WIN.
    18. While a little sketchy, looks much more Presidential.
    19. While a little sketchy, spends money far more sensibly.
    20. Unfortunately, both Charlie and the incumbent have a history of drug use. But Charlie just passed a drug test.
    21. Surrounds himself with a much better class of people.
    22. Is honest about his religious beliefs.
    23. Lets it all hang out and is open with people; no hidden agenda.
    24. Is more consistent.
    25. Looks much more ???together??? and less haggard than the incumbent.
    26. While less experienced with a teleprompter, he is still pretty good.
    27. Better ratings.
    28. Enjoys a better relationship with Israel and the Jewish community.
    29. Was raised in America and was not influenced by third world socialists in his formative years, (just the ones in Hollywood).
    30. Has Tiger blood.
    31. Admits he is from Mars. The incumbent refuses to say.
    32. Does not play Golf??????constantly.
    33. Not as uptight and a little less inhibited.
    34. More fun to work with. While not in Ted Kennedy???s league, Charlie could put the PARTY back in the Democratic Party.
    35. Could bring stability to the party by counterbalancing the real wackos like Pelosi and Reed.
    36. Has never been associated with Reverend Wright.
    37. Has never been associated with Rahm Emanuel.
    38. Has never, (as far as Bill knows), been associated with Hillary Clinton.
    39. Jessie Jackson has never wanted to emasculate Charlie.
    40. Is much more experienced with Stimulus and stimulation than the incumbent.
    41. Is welcome in, and is good for the economy of, Las Vegas.
    42. Is a legitimate American citizen and is willing to prove it.
    43. Has no experience with Chicago politics.
    44. Has never been a Community Organizer.
    45. Has never blamed a single one of his many problems on President Bush.
    46. Buys affection with HIS OWN MONEY.
    47. Takes way better care of his brother.
    48. Has a long history of exhibiting far better judgment.
    49. Much warmer personality.
    50. Denise Richards doesn???t care what you eat.
    51. Spends less on stimulation and uses HIS OWN MONEY when he does.
    52. Is honest about his smoking habit.
    53. Has never snubbed a long time ally.
    54. Has never bowed to a foreign despot.
    55. Has never advocated ???death panels??? in health care.
    56. Would never consider Hoof-in-mouth-Joe Biden as a running mate. (Lindsey Lohan, maybe)
    57. Likes rich people.
    58. Thinks ACORN is just nuts.
    59. Will take his shirt off at the beach and be photographed.
    60. Likes hot cars and has never banned off shore drilling.
    61. Has never voted ???present???
    62. Has fewer delusions, (although possibly more hallucinations).
    63. Does not ignore questions at press conferences.
    64. Is truthful about why he goes to Rio.

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    AnsuGisalas

    remind me, "boarders", isn't that code-speak for the "illegal immigrants" working the sweat shops to keep the economy (sorta) working?

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    puppybreath

    I don't care if it does help your economy (sorta). You should close them down. ;-)

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    AnsuGisalas

    too cold

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    puppybreath

    that sweatshops are all overseas. We Americans only use illegals for housekeeping, produce farms, and landscaping. ;-)

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    seanferd

    isn't very well connected with reality. Perfect fit!

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    puppybreath

    I thought this was the Friday Yuk thread. You apparently think it's a political thread. Or is it un-PC to include Obama in any post that his supporters deem offensive? Lighten up a little. You'll feel better.

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    santeewelding

    Pro former forma only; like FNM of past glory -- or had you not heard or realized?

    Saves you from me tearing you a new *** hole for the structure and function of your post.

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    AnsuGisalas

    Remember the yuk rules:
    Even when mortified, respond in pun or jokespin form.

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    NickNielsen Moderator

    One man's yuk is another man's offensive post

    I laughed at both your OP and his ripost. But, being of neither, I see the humor in both.

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    2rs

    it looks to me that puppybreath posted the first offending political post. Methinks you might heed your own advice.....

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    puppybreath

    So a joke comparing Sheen to Obama is now considered offensive? I guess the correct thing to do would be to apologize:

    My apologies to Mr. Sheen for such a comparison. I realize he's had a rough time recently and I should have been more sympathetic to his feelings.

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    NickNielsen Moderator

    Takes offense at a response referring to neocons, then the original post must also be offensive, no?

    If you can't take it, don't dish it.

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    AnsuGisalas

    Keeping it tongue-in-cheek. It's about being inclusive.

    Also like Puppybreath did with responding my sweatshop remark, another example of keeping it on the funny side of the street.

    After all, politics is hardly important enough to wreck camaraderie over, is it?

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    puppybreath

    that ALL politicians are jokes, albeit poor ones, it's a wonder that anyone would be offended.

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    AnsuGisalas

    Some are funnier than others, like that DeLay dude back then, and some are just groaners, like Lieberman

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    boxfiddler Moderator

    are the Snowbirds we'll be renting this place to sooner or later. Borders are those things we've artificially determined to meet the primitive, territorial needs of the male of the species.

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    AnsuGisalas

    also known as pee-pee-marking the perimeters.

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    JamesRL

    Boarders are those young whipper snappers who tear up the pristine powder you want to ski on, try to get in the lift line ahead of you, and generally act like the hill is a skateboard park.

    But I'm not bitter.....

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    puppybreath

    old whipper snappers or have you used up your whip snaps by the time you get old?

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    AnsuGisalas

    by any age worthy of mention, either ones whip has snapped, or ones snaps are whipped. Price of wisdom.

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    1 Votes
    Jaqui

    it's the Friday Yuk, with no tags since there ain't no way to tag discussions with new design.

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    0 Votes
    boxfiddler Moderator

    ain't it?

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    0 Votes

    yup

    Jaqui

    it is.

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    1 Votes
    puppybreath

    If we have to have a clown in the White House Lets get Charlie Sheen. He has HUGE advantages over Obama.

    1. More qualified and experienced to hold the office. (He watched reruns of his father playing the president in West Wing).
    2. More military experience, (he starred in Platoon, Cadence, and Navy Seals).
    3. More knowledgeable about the economy, (he starred in Wall Street).
    4. Is not a communist or socialist, (he was in Red Dawn).
    5. More likely to defend our boarders, (again Red Dawn)
    6. Is pro second amendment, (Starred in Young Guns).
    7. Is pro law enforcement, (Costarred in the Rookie)
    8. Could host far more memorable state dinner parties, (see arrest record).
    9. Could actually get a ball across home plate at the start of the baseball season. (stared in Eight Men Out and Major League).
    10. Knows the middle east better, (see Hot Shots part Deux)
    11. More decisive and has a high energy level.
    12. Comparatively more sane.
    13. Much more honest.
    14. Much more intelligent.
    15. Much less arrogant.
    16. Has two first ladies, who are much better looking, better mannered, and more experienced in front of the camera.
    17. Is all about WIN.
    18. While a little sketchy, looks much more Presidential.
    19. While a little sketchy, spends money far more sensibly.
    20. Unfortunately, both Charlie and the incumbent have a history of drug use. But Charlie just passed a drug test.
    21. Surrounds himself with a much better class of people.
    22. Is honest about his religious beliefs.
    23. Lets it all hang out and is open with people; no hidden agenda.
    24. Is more consistent.
    25. Looks much more ???together??? and less haggard than the incumbent.
    26. While less experienced with a teleprompter, he is still pretty good.
    27. Better ratings.
    28. Enjoys a better relationship with Israel and the Jewish community.
    29. Was raised in America and was not influenced by third world socialists in his formative years, (just the ones in Hollywood).
    30. Has Tiger blood.
    31. Admits he is from Mars. The incumbent refuses to say.
    32. Does not play Golf??????constantly.
    33. Not as uptight and a little less inhibited.
    34. More fun to work with. While not in Ted Kennedy???s league, Charlie could put the PARTY back in the Democratic Party.
    35. Could bring stability to the party by counterbalancing the real wackos like Pelosi and Reed.
    36. Has never been associated with Reverend Wright.
    37. Has never been associated with Rahm Emanuel.
    38. Has never, (as far as Bill knows), been associated with Hillary Clinton.
    39. Jessie Jackson has never wanted to emasculate Charlie.
    40. Is much more experienced with Stimulus and stimulation than the incumbent.
    41. Is welcome in, and is good for the economy of, Las Vegas.
    42. Is a legitimate American citizen and is willing to prove it.
    43. Has no experience with Chicago politics.
    44. Has never been a Community Organizer.
    45. Has never blamed a single one of his many problems on President Bush.
    46. Buys affection with HIS OWN MONEY.
    47. Takes way better care of his brother.
    48. Has a long history of exhibiting far better judgment.
    49. Much warmer personality.
    50. Denise Richards doesn???t care what you eat.
    51. Spends less on stimulation and uses HIS OWN MONEY when he does.
    52. Is honest about his smoking habit.
    53. Has never snubbed a long time ally.
    54. Has never bowed to a foreign despot.
    55. Has never advocated ???death panels??? in health care.
    56. Would never consider Hoof-in-mouth-Joe Biden as a running mate. (Lindsey Lohan, maybe)
    57. Likes rich people.
    58. Thinks ACORN is just nuts.
    59. Will take his shirt off at the beach and be photographed.
    60. Likes hot cars and has never banned off shore drilling.
    61. Has never voted ???present???
    62. Has fewer delusions, (although possibly more hallucinations).
    63. Does not ignore questions at press conferences.
    64. Is truthful about why he goes to Rio.

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    0 Votes
    AnsuGisalas

    remind me, "boarders", isn't that code-speak for the "illegal immigrants" working the sweat shops to keep the economy (sorta) working?

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    puppybreath

    I don't care if it does help your economy (sorta). You should close them down. ;-)

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    AnsuGisalas

    too cold

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    puppybreath

    that sweatshops are all overseas. We Americans only use illegals for housekeeping, produce farms, and landscaping. ;-)

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    seanferd

    isn't very well connected with reality. Perfect fit!

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    puppybreath

    I thought this was the Friday Yuk thread. You apparently think it's a political thread. Or is it un-PC to include Obama in any post that his supporters deem offensive? Lighten up a little. You'll feel better.

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    santeewelding

    Pro former forma only; like FNM of past glory -- or had you not heard or realized?

    Saves you from me tearing you a new *** hole for the structure and function of your post.

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    0 Votes
    AnsuGisalas

    Remember the yuk rules:
    Even when mortified, respond in pun or jokespin form.

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    0 Votes
    NickNielsen Moderator

    One man's yuk is another man's offensive post

    I laughed at both your OP and his ripost. But, being of neither, I see the humor in both.

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    2rs

    it looks to me that puppybreath posted the first offending political post. Methinks you might heed your own advice.....

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    puppybreath

    So a joke comparing Sheen to Obama is now considered offensive? I guess the correct thing to do would be to apologize:

    My apologies to Mr. Sheen for such a comparison. I realize he's had a rough time recently and I should have been more sympathetic to his feelings.

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    0 Votes
    NickNielsen Moderator

    Takes offense at a response referring to neocons, then the original post must also be offensive, no?

    If you can't take it, don't dish it.

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    AnsuGisalas

    Keeping it tongue-in-cheek. It's about being inclusive.

    Also like Puppybreath did with responding my sweatshop remark, another example of keeping it on the funny side of the street.

    After all, politics is hardly important enough to wreck camaraderie over, is it?

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    puppybreath

    that ALL politicians are jokes, albeit poor ones, it's a wonder that anyone would be offended.

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    AnsuGisalas

    Some are funnier than others, like that DeLay dude back then, and some are just groaners, like Lieberman

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    boxfiddler Moderator

    are the Snowbirds we'll be renting this place to sooner or later. Borders are those things we've artificially determined to meet the primitive, territorial needs of the male of the species.

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    1 Votes
    AnsuGisalas

    also known as pee-pee-marking the perimeters.

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    JamesRL

    Boarders are those young whipper snappers who tear up the pristine powder you want to ski on, try to get in the lift line ahead of you, and generally act like the hill is a skateboard park.

    But I'm not bitter.....

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    puppybreath

    old whipper snappers or have you used up your whip snaps by the time you get old?

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    AnsuGisalas

    by any age worthy of mention, either ones whip has snapped, or ones snaps are whipped. Price of wisdom.