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Location: United States

I wrote my first "hello world" in binary when I was 2 1/2. At the age of 6 I wrote my first OO application in SmallTalk that was code reviewed by every member of the Gang of Four. In fact the examples in their book on Design Patterns were based on that application, often verbatim. Every one of them wept at my first communion mostly because Richard Stallman, Linus Benedict Torvalds, Nelson Mandela, Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II gave the opening benediction to the mass which was held at the Vatican. I have turned down every job offer I ever received except for being Keith Richards drug tester. HA! I taught him a thing or two. Like how heroin is for pansies!!! I pee Dom and shite gold nuggets. I am currently the (secret) controlling stock holder of Google, Microsoft, The US Senate and The Illuminati.

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