10 most dangerous species of help desk analyst (slideshow)

8. Auxilium Buzzwordia: "Only opportunities" help desk analyst

Closely related to Complicatus, this character picks up on any office buzzword and runs with it until he learns a new one. Ten years ago he was running things up the flagpole and saluting them. Four years ago he would take any immediately irresolvable problems and “put them in the parking lot”, even in England, where the words “Parking lot” are not part of the language. This is the chap you want to condemn to a slow and painful death when he uses the phrase “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Try telling that the person who is trapped in a burning building. If 'Offshoring' is ever a likelihood, beware Auxilium Buzzwordia, today's bizmeth is ‘aligned’ to 'downsizing' and 'leveraging' efficiencies.

It should be noted that if ‘Leverage’ is used as a verb it is invariably pronounced the American way, even in the UK.

Caption by: Jeff Dray

Photo credit: ©



Bill Detwiler is Managing Editor of TechRepublic and Tech Pro Research and the host of Cracking Open, CNET and TechRepublic's popular online show. Prior to joining TechRepublic in 2000, Bill was an IT manager, database administrator, and desktop supp...

Free Newsletters, In your Inbox